WHERE EAGLES DARE!!!!!!!!

Great movie and also a gem of a song from Iron Maiden....... Actually I should say 'Where creepy things dare'!!!! Say hello to the "Andy trying to save more money" project. I'm insulating all the pipes under the house. I know, I know, I MIGHT save 3 cents over the next 20 years but it makes me feel good thinking I am energy conscious. Don't look now but this might be a project down the road.... Al Gore would be soooooooooo proud of me...... If I really cared what that hypocrite thinks.... OK so let me get off my political soap box and tell you all the fun I had in crawl space.



I have been procrastinating this forever!!! Not as much as the ditch project but it's pretty close. Here's my reason........ I hate surprises!!! As in snakes and big spiders. I waited for a nice cold night, 29 degrees to be exact, to kill off any spiders and slow down any snake that could lunge at me. Cold weather slows them down because of the whole cold blooded thing. Look I never said I was a biologist, I just know enough about them to say they are slower in the cold. If I am missing something feel free to enlighten me by sending me an email..... Back to the crawl space. They don't call it that for no reason..... I have to crawl or slither on my stomach to get around. It's not fun especially when your knees ache anyways. They have been that way since I got back after doing two tours in 'Nam'.......


Sure I may look like a complete tool but I was nice and warm.....Let me tell you, the cover alls I am wearing RULE!!!! Know what I was wearing underneath that??? NOTHING!!!! Kidding!! I was wearing shorts and a t shirt. That's how warm it keeps me..... Dig the head lamp..... Very 'coal miner' looking isn't it???? You'll be glad to know that I spent a good 4 straight hours in there..... It was cold but it's all in the name of saving money!!!! And as you know, I'm all for that.


Let's just face it.... Crawl spaces are nasty places. Hey that rhymed! Thank God I only have to go down there a few times every blue moon or so. GEEZ!!!! I can't see how coal miners do it..... I guess that's why they get paid the big bucks. AND In case you were wondering, I did not encounter any snakes or big spiders.

I usually don't get too excited this time of the year, but it might be different this time....You know why???? Not only am I going to treat myself to a big a$$ flat screen TV but my mail order bride is coming ashore in a few weeks!!! Want to see what she looks like????



Hot little number huh!?!?!?!? Her name is Olga and her bio says she likes long walks on the beach, para sailing, enjoys cooking traditional Bulgarian meals using cabbage and loves animals, preferably goats and oxen. I'm going to be one lucky man when I pick her up at the shipping dock!!!! WOO HOO!!!! Here I am emailing her.....


All kidding aside, I'm actually working on my blog.... I can do it on the comfort of my couch watching some shows that I Tivo'd thanks to my brother hooking me up with Lizzy's old laptop. SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!?!?!?! What the heck did I do before Tivo????? I actually had to watch commercials and stuff!!!! So medieval....

Speaking of Mike and Liz, I am really looking forward to the next few months, I always love chowing down at Thanksgiving!!! This year is at their house and she's a cooking MOFO!!!! That's street lingo for a really good cook...... Then we have Christmas coming up and it's pretty cool to see how riled up the kids get..... Very funny, Charlie will actually start crying if I don't get the toy out of the package fast enough for him.... Silly kid! Then we got the big day! 1-07-08 is going to be a monumental day for Andy McBride, I'm finally getting the goiter that has hampered my looks for years surgically removed...... But really, that's the day I can get my new phone!!!!!! I literally have tape holding my current phone together....


This baby has been good to me over the past 4 years. It has been dropped, kicked, squished in my pocket, left on the roof of my car, and other things that I can't remember right now. Through all of that I received a brand new Razr and within two weeks I dropped it in a urinal, don't ask, and it stopped working so I had to reactivate my trusty old LG.


BIG NEWS!!!! I have been in talks, makes it sound like we are working on a movie, with Boike about coming down in February..... It's going to be a two fold weekend!!! FIRST and foremost, we are renting a Bobcat and he is going to do what I have not been able to do for almost a year, Finish the ditch!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!HECK!!!! If he can do this with his huge skid loader


he can choke slam my little old ditch.... Also that weekend is the Daytona 500 that we will be enjoying in HDTV!!! That right folks!!! I have set the time frame of my big purchase. I will have it fully operational for that weekend of racin' and beer!!!!! Did someone say REDNECK????? Anyways, I have already started prepping for the big day....


I'm running another cable to my HDTV antenna. You see they all want you to believe that you have to pay extra for HDTV. Well I got news for you! You don't! I sound like a late night infomercial.... Or a used car salesman.... "No credit? Bad credit? NO PROBLEM!!!" Let me clarify. You can get all the network stations with some good old bunny ears. ESPN and anything on cable you cannot.

So has it rained in your neck of the woods??? Yeah it hasn't rained much around here either..... I was down at the LakeLand the other day and you can really see how bad it has gotten down here....




Well I am all written out..... Talk to you around Christmas....... Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE NOT FINISHED THE DITCH!!!!!

So I made a decision not to write a blog entry until I finished the ditch.... Well that didn't happen!!! It still is....... Shall we say, unfinished!!!!



I couldn't stand it! I had to keep all five of you updated on what's been happening in my neck of the woods. So let's see..... It has been since July since my last entry..... A lot has changed!!!!! HE HE HE HE!! Not really.......

Not sure if you saw this BUT the college I went to, Appalachian State University, pronounced Ah-pah-latch-an, beat Michigan in probably one of the greatest upsets in college football!!! Don't believe me?????? Check out the score board!!!

What a great day!!!!! The football Gods have been good to me the last couple of years, ASU has won back to back championships and beat Michigan, the most successful football program in the USA. Still waiting for the Bills to win 2 straight games but I guess they need to take baby steps and just lead a quarter of a game!!!!

I'm in my 'fire sale' mode right now.... It all started when I was in one of the spare closets and found all my old stereo equipment. WELL!!! I stood there and pondered what to do with it all... Do I donate it all to Good Will ? Then the shrewd business man in me said, "DUDE!!! Don't give it away!!!! Put this stuff on Ebay and sell it for some money!". So I proceeded to put it all for auction on Ebay. Heck some of the stuff I don't think works anymore.... BUT I'LL BE DAMNED if the stuff didn't sell in the first 24 hours I put it up!!!!! I had an old Tivo that didn't work anymore and I wrote in the description that it didn't and it still sold in 2 hours!!! The bidding wars are a riot!!!!! The last 1/2 hour of an auction is amazing!!!! The price of your item almost certainly triples with everyone bidding on it!!!!! HELLO $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. I'm at the point where I have almost sold everything... I have some speakers that I will throw on there tonight...

What am I doing with the money you ask????? Well, I have my eye on a mail order bride from Romania!!!!!! I just have to shave her back when she gets over here... KIDDING!!!!!! I'm saving the money for a big LCD HDTV, DVD/surround sound system, Nintendo Wii, new HD Tivo. Basically a new entertainment center!!!!! WOO HOO!!!

All the McBrides are doing great.... We had a family picture taken by my cousin who's a professional photographer.... PLEASE give her work!!! She needs a place to live!! She is currently living in a van down by the river!!!!


I had some great friends from WI come down for the BofA 500....





The whole Haver clan Andy, Deanna, Scott, Eve, Holly, Natalie, Heidi, Mitch, Eric, Megan and both sets of grand parents are the BEST!!!! They took good care of me in a very bad part of my life and I will never forget that!!! Dare I say, they are one of the few things that were good that came out of that whole debacle! Ask me about the FUN FUN FUN I had up there when I am three sheets in the wind..... That's the only time I will talk about it!!! HE HE HE HE HE HE!!! Pretty healthy huh?????



Let's see..... I know there's more things.....

• Spent WAY TOO MUCH money when I went up to Boone to get some ASU gear.
• At work I have talked some some very 'interesting' people on the phone. There is a reason why they are called 'sub prime' borrowers
• Bought a brand new Tivo at Big Lots for $70 BUCKS!!!! I was so excited I almost peed my pants in aisle 9!!!!
• Was told I talk funny
• Remember the 'McBride' expressway????? You know, the path I built in my back yard to the dump and race track????

Well they are clearing the land back there for some houses and the old guy that was
clearing it stopped by and had a chat with me... He said that there is a reason that he has a
no trespassing sign up. I think I got the point and immediately halted all operations on the
expressway.

• Bailey stayed with me a weekend and I spoiled the heck out of her!!!! Instead of one and 1/4 cups of food I gave her 2 cups!!! I'm soooooo bad!!!!


• I had the unpleasant experience of having my colon checked by my doctor for my annual physical. "Using your whole fist there Doc?"

• Had a little accident with the boat..... This is what happens when you don't pull up the trim all the way when you are taking the boat out of the water.....

The prop's in bad shape too!!!! I guess it's run it's course.... I had that thing rebuilt twice to save money... SHOCKER!


That's all for now y-all keep your feet on the ground and reachin' for the star!!!!

The McBride world tour is official complete!!!

Thank you!!!!
GOOD NIGHT!!!!

I told you about all the fun I had up at Boike and Mese's farm in early May, well the next stop was Michigan International Speedway!!!! Sweet baby Jesus! Did we have a blast!!!!! Boike built and I painted up some game boards for cornhole.... Don't know what the sam hell that is???? No prob, they actually have an official league and rules..... Check out my paint jobs????? Pretty sweet huh????

One is in honor of Davey Allison, God rest his soul and the other is....... The old timers will recognize that one. Yeap it's the AMC logo!!!! They had a short but sweet run in NASCAR back in the 70's...

Here we are debuting them at MIS......



It was hotter than the hubs of hell up there but it was worth it!!!!! It was a 10 hour trip up there from Boike's house in VA..... In case you are wondering it's 7 hours up to Boikes from my house.... WOO HOO!!!! I was a car/truck drivin' fool for a total of 17 hrs!!!!! My good friend Mark and his crew from Ohio met us there. DANG SINGER!!!! We have know each other since 3rd grade! That was 25 years ago!!!!! We are old!



That's him and his lovely girlfriend Melissa..... What a great girl!!! I told her that she gives me hope that there are still good ones out there....

Hey want to see what we do for the weekend when we are at the races???? Here's the answer to your question...

GOD I love racin'!!! That's our friend Hatcher with the killer shirt, "drink, pee, repeat".. He has the best shirts! Look in the back ground..... Singer's crew brought another cornhole board too.... It's painted up for Jamie McMurray who actually just won the Pepsi 400!!!! Way to go DUDE!!!!! See you in victory lane again in 2012!!!! Anyways!!!!! Kelly, who works with Singer, is a stalker, I mean, a big fan of Jamie and her dad made it for her...


And of course what race would be complete without my best bud Boike!!!!! We decided a few years a go to hit a new NASCAR track every year and we have been to Talladega, MMMMMMM DEGA! Darlington, Pocono, Martinsville and now put Michigan on the list.... Next year it's Atlanta....





This is how we watch the races!!! On top of an RV!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! The Gariotte treated us good!!!! Yes, we call it the Gariotte because Mark's dad Gary bought this thing and spent a couple hours pulling it out of the mud. See the original owner bought it new and used it 3 freakin' times before parking it in his back yard where it sat until Gary saw it 2 years ago. People!!!! It was just sitting there for 15 years!!!!!! Gary asked the guy about it and he said that he just wanted out of his back yard. So Gary made an offer and the guy took it and the RV officially became the Gariotte that day!!!!

Here I am on the roof of that bad boy at 4am!!!!!! Didn't think I had it in me to pull an all nighter due to my age but I took one for the team..... Poor Gary, Kelly and Melissa were in there trying to sleep with us idiots up there raisin' cane. Gary finally came out and cussed us out... Seriously, I had a flashback to 1984 when Singer and I were up in his room building stuff with Legos and making too much noise and Gary coming up there to tell us to be quiet.



I know your asking what the heck I am doing with my fist and two things come to mind... Either I am demonstrating how, well you know, or I was about to give a thumbs up but Hatcher took the picture a millisecond too fast. Gee!?!?!?!?! When I put pictures of myself with that kind of explanation on here you wonder why I am still on the market!!!!!

And the last stop was the Boike LakeLand for the 4th of July festivities.... Only God knows how many years we have been going out there..... I think the last 17 years.... Ahhhh the memories!!!! There was a time when there were so many people out there that Boike would look at me and ask me if I knew these people and my response was always, " no, I thought you knew them.". I have so many great memories and pictures of July 4th gone by that I could create a site devoted to it..... But here are a few:


This was an actual wedding gift!!!!! A floating cooler!!!!!!! And here it is in action...


That's my home for the week...... Sweet huh!?!?!?!?!? The majority of the stuff in this picture, except for the truck, were given to me by previous girlfriends..... To those ladies I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything and especially the emotional baggage!!!!!! YEAH!


Any of you ladies need tickets to the gun show???????

So you want a boat huh???? Well let me tell you, they are a lot of work and money!!! A week before I took it to LakeLand, I spent a good weekend getting it ready. Here's the check list:

1. Change oil and filter.
2. Replace the impeller in the stern drive.
3. Change the gear fluid in the stern drive.
4. Charge up the battery.
5. Install all the drain plugs.
6. Make sure all the navigation lights work.
7. Clean the interior with water and bleach to kill all the mold that grew during the winter.
8. Make sure and store a life jacket for each person that the boat can handle, which is 8.
9. Make sure all the lights are working on the trailer.
10. Grease the wheel bearings on the trailer.
11. Fill it up with gas..... 25 gallon tank + mid grade gas, $3.00 = You do the math....

There are more steps I'm sure but you get the point but it's all worth it when you are just chillin' out in a quiet cove listening to some tunes and enjoying adult beverages....

And finally here is your monthly drainage ditch update... I'm pulling out of the driveway one day and I glanced over to look at the retaining wall and and noticed it's kinda veering to the right..... WHOOPS!!!!! So you know what that means??? You got it, I have to take out a few of the ties and straighten it out..... Fun stuff!!!!! I need to bite the bullet and rent a Bobcat for the weekend and be done with it.... It will make easy work of the whole thing and I know what I will say to myself after. "Why didn't I do this back in January when I started this?"

This is the reason why I am one lucky SOB!!!!!

That's me on a big a$$ skid loader!!!!!!! WOW!!! The death and destruction, Manowar song, I could with that thing if I had one!!!! This was taken last weekend while up at my best friend Boike and his lovely wife's horse farm up in VA. They have over 550 acres of fun filled land!



Dang beautiful I tell ya!!! The place is pretty old too..... Check it out!!!!! It's sooooo old that trees are growing through the old farm equipment.


They have all kinds of toys up there!!!! I spend a lot of my time working on stuff like bush hoggin' their fields!!! It's basically a huge lawn mower. This one is 10 feet... This is the one I take out...


Bush hoggin' is my moment of zen. I love it and Boike and Mese do too because they can just throw me on that thing in the morning and I bush hog all day and their fields are mowed..... AHHHHH YES!!! I marinate with my ear plugs in and straw hat. I ponder everything out there..... Let me give you an example of the stuff I think about:

• I wonder how the grass I planted is doing?
• Should I break down and pay a nice pair of prescription sunglasses or just keep on getting the cheap ones from the Dollar store?
• If my little nephew Charlie saw me on this thing he would be soooooo excited!!! That kid loves tractors!!!
  
• I wonder what my MPG were in the Civic on the way up here???
• I should not have asked that beautiful woman if I could check her for ticks... Bad pick up line! Note to self, Don't use it again.....
• WHOW fella!!! Slow down! You are going too fast and Boike told you to take it slow and easy.
• I wonder if the Sabres are going to win the cup? I hope so!!!! Man what a party that will be up in Buffalo!
• DANG!! This seat is so uncomfortable!!!! Boike really needs to get some padding for it....
  
• I really need to get the new Rush cd.... The one song I heard ROCKS!
• When I get home I need to check about switching my auto and homeowners insurance to Farm Bureau.
• Why did Boike put a plastic bag over the seat??? What's the purpose? It's definitely not making it any easier to sit on.....

You get the point... Pretty random stuff....

In all I had a great time.... Not only did I tear up the woods with the skid loader,


looks like Da Nang back in 68 after a nice round of bombing!!! Mese gave me my first riding lesson!!!!


Say hello to Blaze. He's a big boy but very gentle..... Mese taught me all the stuff just to get a horse ready to ride and then I took Blaze around in circles.... I'm not sure if I was actually directing him where to go or if he was just following Mese around because she had a pocket full of carrots.... Regardless, It was a blast!!!! Like the hat???? It's actually a helmet. When you are on a 2000 pound animal you don't want to take any chances.... I didn't want to pull a Christopher Reeves, God rest his soul.

AND!!! The grass is growing.... My R & D team, me, have come to the realization that the reason the grass is not growing in some of the areas is because the soil is just CRAP!!!!! I need to take a rototiller to it.


Well the first stop on the McBride world tour is complete and up next is Michigan International Speedway in June!!! WOO HOO!!!! I also have to get the LakeLand ready for the 4th of July.....


A HUGE tree fell out there and it needs to be cut up and the place needs to be mowed and raked so when a "certain" person comes down for the party he's not crying because he can't walk barefoot because he might step on a gum ball and hurt his delicate foot.... GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any volunteers are welcome to join me in the fun..... Just drop me a line.

BAILEY BAILEY BAILEY!!!!!!!! I'M WATCHING BAILEY!!!!

I was informed by Bailey's owner, Steph, that she was very disappointed in not seeing any pictures of her baby on my last blog... And one thing about her is she does not shy away from letting someone know how see feels... So Steph!!! This entry is all about Bailey!!!!!! Before I start talking about Bailey I realized that you have not seen what Steph looks like... Well here is the answer to your question!

KIDDING!!!!!!! This is a real picture of her...
 I think she told me that this one was taken of her on one of those SI swimsuit photo shoots..... I don't think she remembers that particular one because after you have been on over 1000 photo shoots they all kinda blend together....

OK!!!! Let's talk about Bailey.... She is one of the best dogs I have ever watched with apologies to Wylie, Maggie, Georgia, Sarge, Skeebo, Duke, Marley, Daisy, Carolina and any other pupper I have watched and taken care of. She is one of those dogs that you have no problem letting roam your house when you are at work... This is Bailey!!!
 
Yeap you got it!!! She's on my couch! Oh look!!! Now she's on my bed getting ready to sleep for the night!!
 Here we are doing what we do best, watching some TLC!!!!!
 
This is where Steph and I don't exactly see eye to eye.... If the dog is well mannered then I have no problem letting them do their thing. They are my guest and I treat them like my buddy. We do everything together. Steph is from the school of "dog discipline"... And for the record I want to say that there is nothing wrong with that at all... I would be like that myself if I had a dog. But I treat Bailey to a vacation when she stays with me. This isn't funny, WELL!?!?!??!?! Yeah it is. When I return Bailey she tends to still think she is on vacation and jumps on Steph's couch and bed..... I don't think that makes Steph too happy having to spend a week yelling at her to get off the furniture. She tells people about the ordeal I put her through. When I was leaving her townhouse with Bailey her elderly neighbor said, "Now don't let her sleep in your bed." GREAT STUFF!!!!! I just had to chuckle....

It's pretty cool to come home from work and take her for a walk and play out in the yard... She's such a good girl that I can work out there and know that she's not going to stray away..... Great pupper I tell ya!!!!!!

SWEET!!!!! I hope this satisfies Steph!!!! Her baby is now on the world wide web!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Now for the rest of the news..... Not sure if you heard but my brother and his wife had another baby boy on Dec. 20th!!!! He's a cute little booger and his name is Nicholas...

The other two boys are doing just fine as well... Jack will be 4 in May and Charlie will be 3 the same month!!!!! Here they are marinating in my truck.....

Not sure what's on Charlie's face. Heaven knows what that kid got into.... I think it might just be a reflection. Hey!!! Did you see the camouflage steering wheel cover????? If not, here's a better look at it.


That my friends is a Big Lots special and it and solidifies me as a true Lancasterian, or whatever they call people that live in Lancaster.

Hey it's almost summer time and you know what that means?!?!?!?! Fun times at the Lancaster Motor Speedway!!!!! It's about 500 yards, 5 football fields, away from my house.... I have never been but that might change this season..... Word on the street is that there are women there with a few of their teeth that love watching dirt track racin'!!!!! I need to go and check it out!!!

Here we go again!!!! I was in Big Lots the other day and I was drawn to the bags of grass seed they sell!!!! Now granted, I know it's probably not the best seed man has ever created !!! I'm sure it has weed seeds in it and everything. BUT!!! For the price, $7, I'm willing to take that gamble!!!! Before I can plant it I need to do some prepping and planning.... Not only did I find grass seed there BUT also some weed/crabgrass killer spray, potting soil and insect killer to spread out on my lawn.... AND don't get me started on all the yard tools they have! Big Lots is a plethora of yard stuff! Like that???? Plethora is a pretty big word for me! I am using the side of my house as my test center....



I guess you could call it the "McBride Research & Development Facility"... OK.... First thing I did was test the weed/crabgrass spray...... This is sooooo anal of me but I sprayed two areas. One with a spray I bought at Big Lots and the other one from Dollar General. As you can see, I placed flags in each area so I know what product I sprayed!!! HE HE HE HE HE HE!!! You don't see that too much do you? Except a late night infomercial for Oxiclean!



Yeap!! I am a full fledge cheapo!!!! Guilty as charged!!! BUT DANGIT!!!!!! I'm all about getting more bang for my buck!!!!

So now it's a waiting game.... I need to see what product works the best and then I will spray the whole area and kill all the nasty weeds and moss... Then fertilize and lay down the grass seed and water the heck out of it!!!!! I wish I had one of those time lapse cameras so you could see every minute of the fun but I don't! Unless they start selling them at Big Lots!!!! WOO HOO!!!! Anyways, I will continue to take pictures of the progress!

So exhibit 'A' won the contest so I poured it into a sprayer and mixed it with some water, you know, So I could get more out of it!!! HE HE HE HE!!! And Bailey helped kill grass too by using her potent pee!!!!


All the grass is dead and I 'hard raked' it and spread the seed and some fertilizer my brother gave me.. Yeap!!! I am such a hand-me-down guy!!!! But who cares!!!!! If it works then we will all be happy right????? If not, then I'll just start over with a better grass seed... No harm no foul.....


Alrighty kids!!! I'm off to VA. to Boike and Mese's horse farm to play on their tractor and new skid loader!!!!! That thing can rip out tree trucks!!!!!
I'm also going to learn how to ride a horse!!!!! One of the many things in the 'evolving of Andy'!!!!! Plus I hear chicks dig it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I know... I say that all the time but it's true... And to cap it off, we are going to the Gold Cup Steeple Chase!!!!Don't worry!!! I'll have pictures of the whole thing so don't get your underwear in a wad!!!!!

What's the good word!?!?!?!!?!? I hope all is well in your neck of the woods... Enough greetings!!!! I know what you are all here for!!!!! Pictures!!!!! I know but hold up a few minutes.... To all of you that actually read this stuff and don't treat me like a 'picture whore'. I want to let you know that I was offered and accepted a new position here at Wells Fargo! So all is good!!!! Everything transferred to the new job including salary, benefits and vacation time!!!! I'm in a dept called Loss Mitigation..... I know! Y-all are like, WHAT DEPT?????? In a nutshell this is what I do. A customer goes into default on their mortgage, not just missing one payment but missing up to 8, and I get as much info as I can from the customer and try to set them up on a repayment or modification plan so they do not go into foreclosure. See here's a secret from the mortgage world.... It costs more to have someone foreclosed than it does if they can pay some of the their loan...... Keep that on the DL, Down Low, and if anyone asks you tell them that you didn't hear it from me.....

Alright!!! Picture time!!!!!! As you can see, project 'drainage ditch' is coming along very slowly!!

I usually come home from work and dig a little bit each day but I have had a few things come up where I was not doing that..... Doing some dog sitting and stuff like that.... PLUS!!!! When it rains, it's a MESS!!!!! Red clay mud everywhere!!! I'm not a big fan!!!!! So when it rains I have to wait a few days for it to dry out...

I don't know about where you live but the weather has been all jacked up around here!!!! It actually froze the other night and I think it did some damage to my shrubs!!! Take a look... What do you think???


I have a summer chalked full of trips and FUN FUN FUN till daddy takes the T-Bird away!!! I have trips to the Gold Cup in VA. during May, the race at Michigan International Speedway in June and of course the July 4th festivities at the Boike LakeLand!!!!! The schedule will be tight but I think I'll manage and get the retaining wall completed... The fun already started a few weeks ago when Cofer, my lovable college roommate, took me to Bristol!!!!

HEY!!!! One other thing! I'll be the HUGE 34 on Friday the 27th so this is what I'm asking for..... 1. MONEY to help me pay for the operation I need to remove the hump on my back! AH HELL!!! Who am I kidding? I don't have a hump... I just love money!!!! 2. A gorgeous woman to jump out of a cake and sing "Happy birthday Mr. President."MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DARE TO DREAM!!!!!!!!