Tuesday, January 01, 2013

FINALE


So you know, I, ANDY McBRIDE, has been dealing with a health issue for the couple of years or so. If you have been on the emails that I have sent or I have told you then you already know. Not going to my 20th class reunion was the kicker!! I wrote this to a friend of mine:
 Oct 15, 2012
"It started out fine. Friday, a bunch of us met at the football game and drinks afterwards. As you are aware, I have some health ‘issues’ and I tend to slur and kinda walk funny. Well I am still very self conscious about it. Well a couple people made comments to others to make sure I had a ride home because people thought I was drunk….. They meant no harm whatsoever BUT I kinda saw the writing on the wall so while lying in bed that night I made the decision NOT to go to the actual reunion the following night. I didn’t want people to see me like this and think I was a DRUNKEN FOOL. Plus I kinda felt bad because I have said stuff to some of the girls that I don’t think they or their spouses found too amusing…  I think it was just best that I didn’t go. Do I have regrets? SURE but I still think it was the right thing to do. This whole experience made me realize that I need to just announce to all that I have some ‘issues’ and quit trying to hide it like I have been for the past 2+ years…. "

Let's start from the beginning shall we:
Oct 10, 2010
subject:
GETTING MY AFFAIRS IN ORDER!!!





"I soooooooooooo just gave my mom a heart attack!!! SORRY MOM!!! First off to all that didn't know, a little background info for ya, I have been having some balancing 'issues', I just can't do the stuff I use to be able to do. Simple stuff, so I went to a neurologist and he had me have a cat scan done, TALK ABOUT A NOISY MACHINE!!! It's like standing next to a freakin' freight train.. Anyways, I just had my follow up appointment with him and he said it's not a tumor! And it's not MS, which I made the mistake of telling my mother it might be. He said that it's a hereditary gene that is causing my cerebellum, which controls my speak and balance, to shrink. THERE IS NO TREATMENT FOR IT! It is a gradual thing. SOOOOOOO!!! I MIGHT eventually need a walking assistant, like a cane or wheelchair. He wants me to get some more blood work done, so I am off to have that done. EVERYONE!!!! Sure I'm a little freaked out by this BUT as God as my witness, THIS WILL NOT STOP ME! I, Robert Andrew McBride, will just need to put on my 'BIG BOY BRITCHES' and deal with it. And I expect y'all to do the same. Sure there is stuff I can't do or I am really slow at doing BUT I'm STILL Andy!!! OKIE DOKIE????? That's it! I really don't want to talk about it anymore...... Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go get POKED with a needle and then going to the DUMP to be asked by the attendant where I am from because I talk funny...... BYE!!!"


I went to get a 2nd opinion and so the following emails are about the second Dr. I saw.

Nov 22, 2010
"Not sure about if you had to take it in your school but we had to and when I become fired up due to incompetence and confusion I go into the 'IOWA TEST MODE'. That's where I shut down and don't really care what the outcome is. First off, The Dr. I saw name was Patel! Cool guy but his ENGLISH SUCKED so he talked and instead of me asking him to repeat it because I didn't understand him, I just nodded my head and said yes. I THINK he said something about it maybe being a vitamin deficiency, I guess I can look forward to a stocking FULL of vitamins for Christmas right mom? THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A COPY OF THE EFFING CAT SCAN!!!! I guess I have to get an EFFing copy of it and bring it to him!!! DUDE!!!!! Ya think that after spending $1700 EFFing bucks the Dr. I go to get a EFFing 2nd opinion would have the data cd along with my medical records! SWEET JESUS! ANYWAYS! He examined me and all that fun stuff and said a few things. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!! SO AT THIS POINT I REALLY DON'T CARE IF I NEED A NURSE TO WIPE MY @$$ EVENTUALLY! Let's just ALL agree that I'm CURED and everything is OKIE DOKIE! I'm just slow doing stuff, THAT'S ALL!!!!! I DO NOT want to talk about it anymore! NO MOM, please don't call me. FAMILY, DO NOT bring it up at Thanksgiving, Ya want me to go home earlier, then bring it up!"




Jan 24, 2011
"Okie dokie, First off, I was REALLY pissed the last time I went and saw the Dr.! They had NOTHING, including my freaking CAT SCAN/MRI...... So that's why I sent that BLISTERING email. I was PISSED!!! Anyways, I had an appointment this afternoon and I was VERY LUCKY to have Mrs. Boike, a registered nurse and a hospital administrator go with me. She was ABLE to explain EVERYTHING to me and when the Dr. said something SHE WOULD write it down and ask further questions. This is what went down:
  1. He thinks I have spinal cerebellum ataxia BUT he wants to run a few more tests to see, KRIPES! It could be just a vitamin deficiency.
  2. He order a blood test and I had it done a few minutes ago. They are for certain things like vitamin stuff and ect.
  3. I have to PEE in a jug for a day so they can analyze that too! (I think I'll wait to do that on a Saturday because it would FREAK out EVERYONE at work if I was walking around with a jug full of PEE!
  4. He is going to have another DR. check out my MRI and get this thoughts on it too.
  5. I'm going to start having some genetic testing done too. (They come to your house to do it.) That's pretty cool if ya ask me.
May 6th, 2011
I'm running out of patience..... The Dr. has me do the SAME stuff every time I am in there PLUS he told me that the EFFing lab LOST my blood work so I have to go and give 10 more samples of blood again!! I LOVE getting pricked by a needle!!!!! Very relaxing! (Rolling my eyes).........  Due to a scheduling conflict, Mrs. Boike was not able to come with me but if she did, ALL HELL WOULD HAVE BROKEN LOOSE let me tell ya..... She is a 'GOD SEND' because she makes the Dr. stop and says "Can you please explain that so Andy can understand that". I can totally tell that the Dr. HATES being 2nd guessed and made to explain stuff in 'layman" terms.... BUT it is my health!!!

Nov 4, 2011
NO answers!!!!! I went to my Dr. appointment today and we are STILL at where we were over a year ago! They have run quite a few tests, KRIPES! I can't tell you how much blood they have taken and DON'T get me started about the $! F.U.B.A.R best describes it.... He recommended that I go to the Duke Medical Center for a 'DR. that knows what the EFF they are doing' my opinion, to examine me plus he wants me to go to a physical therapist so I can learn to do stuff WITHOUT falling.... I'd write more BUT all day and Mrs. Boike will attest to this, I've been on the edge of 'LOSING IT' so I will try not to talk about it anymore until I have a few days to digest the UNCERTAINTY...... Trying to keep my chin up, So now you can FIRE away with the questions I KNOW you have. Will I answer them???? MAYBE, Maybe NOT! It depends on my mood."

Again, it’s called spinal cerebellum ataxia, ‘GOOGLE’ it! I did once and it kinda freaked me out. There is a video of someone with it trying to walk…… That image will ALWAYS be in my mind! So now we are all on the same page. I have had 'issues' with my balance for the last 5 or so years but being the male I am, I just ignored them and went on with my life BUT one day two summers ago, I just couldn't hide it anymore and my mother ORDERED ME to go to my Dr... He said EVERYTHING checked out groovy. Blood, Urine, EXT. BUT he said that he would feel more comfortable sending me to a specialist.
HA!!!! Sometime I will tell you the story involving a certain EX supervisor, my family, friends and an MRI/CAT SCAN appointment. All I will say about it is, Issac Newton 3rd law of motion "For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action." sums it up quite well. ANYWAYS, it affects my balance and my speech as if you think I am DRUNK because I slur really bad sometimes. A great example of this was at the last BEER-PA-LOOZA when an ex cop, Tammy R., gave me a sobriety test and I failed because I was doing something with my eyes..... I SOOOOOOOOO wanted to tell her but I didn't..
Some people think that I don't ACT like I have something wrong with me, Sorry BUT I WON'T be one of those people that ACT THEIR ILLNESS! I CHOOSE to NOT let it stop me and be like my nephew Jack who is autistic, happy with the way I am NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! Sure I have my good and bad days BUT I'm STILL Andy McBride, some might say that I am still immature, cold, snobby and just flat out contentious, I'm just slower at what I do. Whether it be doing anything that's normal to working on projects I have at casa de McBride or doing everyday things. So no more of this!


So if you see me going down the stairs at work and I am slow, It’s not that I am holding you up on purpose, it’s just that I have to take my time, OKIE DOKIE? Also, I don’t want you to think I am ‘hitting’ on you when I ask to hold your hand when we are someplace and I need to get up and walk to the restroom. I just need something ‘steady’ to hold on to sometimes. A great example of this was when I was graciously asked to be a pall barrier at Dave Donavan’s funeral and I asked Todd Hopkins, Richie Bess and Mike Nenno if I could hold on to their shoulder while we walked so I didn’t fall…. I fall sometimes and YES it’s embarrassing, I am still young so hopefully I don’t break anything, BUT I hate that other people see it because they can get upset seeing something like that. I think it was last time I was up at the Boike/Mese farm in VA. and he saw me fall and I know it upset him to see it. I get CRAZY LOOKS when I say how early I get up in the morning to stretch, do yoga and work out but it helps me control the 'balance issues' I have.. I've held out telling everyone because I have learned that people treat you different when they know something is wrong with you, plus when people see you the first thing they ask is about your health. To be honest with ya, I REALLY don't want to talk about it in depth..... Please don't think that I'm ALWAYS 'happy go lucky' with all of this. 99% of me accepts my fate but there are times I get very upset with this, it’s not every day a couple neurologists tell you that you will need an ‘assistant’ to help ya walk. And by ‘assistant’ they mean a freakin’ wheelchair….. I don’t care who ya are! That’s a big pill to have to swallow.
I'm THINKING that in the next couple of months that I MIGHT go to the Duke Medical Center and have ANOTHER EFFing neurologist check me out again, HOPEFULLY one that can help me!!! I have started working out the details and I just need someone to go with me because I have a SNEAKING suspicion that they will need to do a 'spinal tap' on me (FUNNY BAND BUT A SCARY PROCEDURE) to hold my hand and to take notes of what they say. Mrs. Boike is doing the research to see what Dr. I should go to and that will be the one I go to because she knows what the EFF she is doing and I TRUST her!!! ON a side note, YOU can tell BIG TIME if I don't trust you!!!! It's a HUGE thing for me!!! Always has and ALWAYS will be..... BUT in all, I hope the nurse is HOT who has to 'clean me' when I can't do it myself anymore and always to JUST LET IT BE!! ****** So you know, I deleted a few comments after I spoke with some former and current friends in the H.R (Human Resources) Dept. that would have MIGHT riled up some people BUT, I did leave the following statement in BECAUSE......******* As always take care of yourself and I would LOVE to take a drug test at work! I'd pass with 'flying colors' you would too right!?!?!?!


ACTUNG!!!! I have decided that this will be my last entry for a while. GOD SPEED KIDS!!! I have a few more blog entries in DA WORKS, because I am ALWAYS THINKING


and I MIGHT post them in the future. The KEY word is MIGHT!!!











So I don't forget!!!!!!

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