Wednesday, May 01, 2019

The day was......

 April 2nd, how do I know that???? It freakin' snowed that day!!! GOOD LORD! And it was cold at casa de McBride. I went to turn up my thermostat and (low and behold) the batteries were dead. I went and put some new ones in it but it STILL didn't work. SON OF A! I guess the life cycle of the thing was NOT over 14 years (I installed when I first moved in, and folks, that was in 2005!


 Well it's new to me, Mike my brother, gave it to me years ago, and I assume it's 'TOP NOTCH'.....He NEVER buys cheap crap, unlike his younger brother (ME).

 WHOA!!!! I just 'googled' it and I was right! The cheapest I could find one was for $150! SWEEEEEEET! I've said it before and I will say it again, I LOOOOOOOVE being his 'GOOD WILL'!!!!!

 I can promise that I will NOT need it for the next 6 months, but you are saying," But Andy you will need it for your AC during the summer." No I won't, you see my AC went out YEARS ago and I never got a new one. I just went to Walmart and bought a cheap window unit that I use when I sleep. CHEAP I KNOW!



 Talk to you next month and "if you want to kiss the sky, you better learn how to kneel, ON YOUR KNEES BOY!"

Monday, April 01, 2019

THE GUIDE TO BEING.....




 Some, well most, think I am a SIMPLE MAN and if I can still do it myself, DANG NABBIT, I will! This is a guide for my nephews so they are not like the 'punks' I work with that don't even know how to wipe their own @SS if there mom or dad were not there to do it for them..... PLUS girls, not 'burn your bras' ones, love a guy that knows how to actually do stuff.1 NOW I am not talking about building a freakin' house or anything, just simple stuff that will make your life easier. 

CARS:
  • KNOW how to do required maintenance on one. It will save you $ and you will know it was done RIGHT. PLUS it will run for a VERY long time.
  • Oil change 
  • AIR FILTER change 
Mike C., Joe W. and I in 1992

  • ALWAYS have an emergency kit (part I and part II) in the trunk of your car BECAUSE trust me, you will need to use it one day! 


MUSIC:


TOOLS:
          


OUTDOOR:

  • Now your parents might not appreciate this 4 BUT I know that you will be at a keg/field party or two in your teen years and if you want to impress the ladies instantly,
                 1. Know how to build a fire. FYI- GIRLS LOOOOOOVE to be warm.......

 
                 2. Know how to pour a beer from a keg WITHOUT a ton of foam.
                 
3. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, FIRST you need to know how to tap one.

  

 These are just a few thing I can think of 'right off the bat'. If you have anymore questions, just ask. 85% of the time I, your 45 year old uncle who has so far lived a good life, will know the answer. Take care and I will talk to you next month and remember that you just can't fix 'stupid'.







1.Let's just admit that 95% of the stuff guys do is to get some 'action'. This may not be P.C but it's TRUE!

2. 3. If you do these things for a lady, she will THINK you are a GOD!

4.  Do NOT get mad at me for this because I can guarantee they would simple 'google' How do you tap a keg?

5. Thanks to Todd and Dave for teaching me this at one of Dave's parties in 87. Oh and FYI- YOUR DAD partied right along side of me!

Friday, March 29, 2019

It's FINALLY done! Can I get an "AMEN" from the congregation???

 SORRY FOR THE DELAY (LIKE anyone noticed) but it freakin wouldn't stop raining AT LEAST three times a week! Been working on this for a few months, AS YOU KNOW!

 The reason that it has taken me FOREVER to do it (started in September and it has been 'touch and go' until now) is because mother nature has NOT been kind to me. It has rained SOOOOOOOO often and I hate working out in the mud. KRIPES! My idea of fun is NOT slipping and sliding holding big rocks and usually falling in it.

This is my working conditions. FYI- MUD SUUUUUUUCKS!

Not too sure if the driver was a guy or a girl but
 IT was cool.

  • So with that, I did a little section at a time. I 'modified' the ditch with dams I made out of broken up concrete and the rip rap in between each one.
 And here it is in all of it's glory. ENJOY because, sure as heck, I will now it's done!



 Now I have my limitations but I usually can do 'handy man' stuff. Thanks to these guys, I am able to do things around the house and so an old work friend of mine asked me to put up some back splash for her. Now it's NOT perfect and I ALWAYS think that it's NOT (I am not the only one that feels this way, my cousin Chris battles the same demon) but Julie and her husband are VERY happy with it and that's all that matters.



 AND with the help from my neighbor Jimmy, fix a valve so I can have water again! Indoor plumbing RUUUUULES , FYI- You don't realize how good it is until you don't have it for a day or two!!!!!!

A valve that shuts off the water in your house

 The valve was broke and leaking so I dug it up and Jimmy and I simply replaced it, the new valve just screws on the pipes, and it was that easy.


 Talk to ya next month and remember to put things in perspective. Stress is NOT having the clerk at Starbucks screw up your order, it's being an 18 year old ABOUT to storm for beaches of Normandy knowin' damn well that the chances of living are slim to none.





Friday, February 01, 2019

NOTHING SPECIAL!

 I didn't do too much this month due nothing but LAZINESS! Heck most days I would sit chair with my cozy fire and some snacks in my backroom watching you tube videos. No rhyme or reason, from a guy working on a 3 wheeler, remember them?, how to clean out an old gas tank, a guy cutting huge pieces of wood with his saw mill, the Mt Saint Helen's eruption, Queen concert from 19811. and the football life of Eric Dickerson. Pretty random stuff. Here are a few highlights and thoughts from the month of January 2019

  • Had my nephews (Jack, Charlie and Nicholas) over for a sleepover...
          1. I fed them CRAP like pizza and ice cream.
          2. Watched some football and saw Charlie's Seahawks LOSE! UGH Charlie-arlie,
              I was pulling for them because I dislike the Cowboys.
  • Started organizing and rearranging my work shop and had a few "OH SNAP, I forgot I had this" moments.

  • I am reading this book and I am amazed that certain people thought this was a great idea in 1969. "Hey guys, I've got a great idea! Let's put on a free concert for over 300k people and change the venue a few weeks before the show and here is my greatest idea, we can have the Hells Angels do the security! Oh and we can just pay them with a truck of beer! Sounds like a great idea huh!?!?!"
  • UGH! The hallmark channel. I loath this channel but my parents LOVE it. Now I know what hell is like, having to watch this ALL DAY!  Here is a break down for EVERY crappy movie on this God forsaken channel:
          1. Guy or gal brings the new boo to their small town.
          2. The new BOO is TOO good or just doesn't fit in for the simple people in the town.
          3. Guy or gal falls back in love with their boo from the past and FROM the town.
          4. Guy or gal kicks new boo to the curb and realizes that their old boo was ALWAYS 'the   
              one'.2.
  • I did something that I have NEVER done but wanted to a few times, I just flat out quit a job, the one at Lowes, no notice or anything. I just said "I QUIT" after this joker pi$$ed me off. HA! It felt good but icky at the same time. 3.
  • With that little nugget of info, I have plenty of times on my hand to get the ditch done. COME HELL OR HIGH WATER it will be and we all will be better people because of it. WOO HOO!
Just a few more feet (LIKE 100 more) to go and it will be done.

 I will talk to ya next month when I PROMISE the front ditch will be done! Until then fly below the radar and ALWAYS remember that YOU not Trump, Nancy Pelosi or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez control your life. YOU do and no one else! Have a great month.

1. And kids, this was BEFORE they had auto tune so YOU had no choice but to sing in the right key.

2. This usually happens in the town gazebo.

3. I'm NOT mad about it, well I am sad I will not see certain people anymore, and it's the nature of the beast. The best example of this is in football. A NEW head coach is hired and the first thing they do is CLEAN HOUSE and discard the employees from the former regime. The ones that do stay are made uncomfortable so they will be upset with it all and quit. The new regime wants THEIR people that they think can do it better. I have seen it 100 times and I should have seen it coming when I met her (NEW MANAGER) in the fall.

Tuesday, January 01, 2019

LIFE CHANGERS!

 HEY KIDS!!! I just wanted to show you the two items that have 'changed my life'........ Yeah OK so I MIGHT be exaggerating that last statement BUT they are pretty SWEET! 

  • First up is the 'squatty potty'.....


         So as you might know, I am really cheap so I built one out of spare wood I had around and I painted it and added a Flowmaster and S.T.P sticker. INSERT POTTY JOKE HERE!

This is what S.T.P stands for.

  • I am a 'LITTLE' and religiously listen to the TK show PODCAST and one of the guests is Steve Sands. He was working for NBC during their Olympic coverage in South Korea. He called in to the show and for the first 20 minutes all he talked about was the toilet in his hotel. So I 'googled'  Korean toilet seat AND this is what I got. Oh and in case you were wondering, I saved up my tip money until I had $219..... Sure I got the money but with ANYTHING I want, I enjoy actually saving up for it. I like the feeling of the whole process. Call me old fashion but it has worked for me since 1973.1
  • I will spare you any pictures but I will give these instructions if you come by casa de McBRIDE and wanna experience what heaven is like. Oh and I keep them right next to the 'throne' in case you need to review them.



 And now for ya "GOOD LORD, is he still working on that?" Ditch update.....


Have a great 2019 and I will talk to ya next month....



1.That was the year I was born.




The day was......

 April 2nd, how do I know that???? It freakin' snowed that day!!! GOOD LORD! And it was cold at casa de McBride. I went to turn up my t...