Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Sorry for the delay and thanks to everyone that asked me either via email or face to face if I was alright...... This is all I will say about it! Ready!?!?!?!? I had a mild case of scurvy! KIDDING!!!! But I bet it made ya laugh. I'm just adding fuel to the 'rumor mill' aren't I!?!?!? But seriously, it was 'w*@# r#$%^&*' and during the last time I wrote an entry I had a very cool supervisor, that's right Jamie it's an old fashion SHOUT OUT! HOLLA!!!!!! HE HE HE HE!!! I guess you can say I had a 'man crush' on him!!! The guy rocked like Grand Funk Railroad at Shea Stadium in 71!!! Not even a day after I wrote this I was reassigned to a another supervisor.. As my friend Doober would say. "WHAT THE CRAP!?!' Gotta love Karma! This is what I need to do, put on my big boy britches and do my job the best I can because I really enjoy being employed plus 'chicks' don't dig a guy without a job. It's all going to work out because 'I'm good enough and gosh darnit! People like me!' That's all you need to know...... So let's see????? I need to wish y'all a belated happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, National 'get ya some day' I mean Valentines Day, April Fools day and any other holiday I forgot...... I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.... A ton of stuff has happened since I talked to you in Oct. so without further ado.......

This is what happens when a GMC Denali backs up into a Civic, and after dropping some serious cash to the body shop, this is what it looks like now.

As you can see I also had them replace the fender that I banged up pretty good like almost 3 freakin' years ago.....So I started out with a wreck!! Here's the dealeo..... I was just going to make a right and the lady, who was on her cell phone, backed into me!!! Her backup lights came on and before I knew it she slammed into me!!!! I was not happy because when the trooper came she would NOT say she backed into me!!!! SOOOOOOOOOO the trooper's hands were tied and could not place blame on her for the accident!!!! Needless to say, I was not a happy camper!!! Not only am I out of $1000 for my deductible but my dang insurance premiums went up!!!!! Geez thanks!!!!!!! There is more to the story but I might sound 'mean spirited' or a bitter American if I give more details..... OH AND!!!!! I also got the truck fixed too..... Check it out... They had to replace the whole back window!!!!

On Thanksgiving I started out the day participating in the first annual 'Merritt Ln clean sweep' which consisted of one person, me....................... You see, I live on a pretty secluded road

and teenagers love coming here and drinking their little hearts out. I don't blame them...... KRIPES!?!?! Who wasn't that kid that didn't like a good place where you could go and drink without the cops coming and bustin' you!?!??!?! Exactly........ I just wish the little punks would clean up after themselves!!!!

So with the tractor, wagon, work gloves and a rake I go and clean up.

Most of the garbage is cans and glass with a hint of plastic bottles.... The last step is to take it all to the 'recycling area', or us simple folk down here in Lancaster county call it, the dump. It's just another way that I can help mother earth plus they pay you for aluminum!!! WOO HOO!!!! And ladies and gentlemen, that's how I roll!!!!! Capitalism RULES!!!!!!!

Not even a week after Thanksgiving, Grandpa McBride went to the big plant up in the sky.

He was a border line workaholic. Ahhhh hell! Who am I kidding? He was a full fledged one!!! Grandma told me that he would go to work at 4am, come home for about an hour for dinner then go back in until about 11pm!!! GEEZ MAN!!!!! Talk about the ultimate company man!!!! While I was up there I went up to see Mark and Melissa up near Cleveland. Poor Mark had to work the graveyard shift so Melissa and I hung out and she even had wine glasses with a place to write our names so we didn't pick up the wrong one!!!

And look at Singer's new toy!!!! It's a really fast tricycle!!!!! Pretty cool if ya ask me......

Oh and if your wondering, thinks are just groovy at the nuclear power plant which is right next to casa de Singer. If you ask me it's just a very expensive way to boil water.

I then went up to see my family up in NY. I stayed at my cousin Jeff's house, he's the guy I get most of my material from to make you laugh, where I met his future wife Kari.... I also saw my wild and wacky cousin Cassie........ As one of my other cousin's wife would say, 'bless her heart'!!!! I didn't make ya cry this time did I Cassie???????

Wanna know what there is to do up in Bolivar, NY???????? Head down to the Bolivar country club for a fish fry and drink!!!! HE HE HE HE!!! I was going to give you a link to it but they don't have a site!!! Hello 20th century!!!!! Anyways, it's where my grandpa Cawley was a member, the majority of my uncles were too and where mom and dad had there wedding reception back on Feb 15, 1969!!!!!!
Matter of fact, I don't think any of the decor has changed since then!!!! GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!! They have been married for 40 years!!!!! That my friends is a rarity this days!!!!!!!

I had my share of the white stuff to satisfy my need for it the next 10 years and when you travel up in the stuff this is what your car looks like.....

When it snows they load up the old salt trucks and spread it EVERYWHERE to try to melt the snow and ice. This is why cars up north are a pile of rust just after a few years. So I spent the weekend cleaning every inch of it trying to get all of the salt off it.

I worked on a few things in the kitchen. My friend Steph and I went to Lowes and she helped me find new fixtures on the cabinets. I had to get a female perspective. HELLO!!! I know my limitations when it comes to that stuff..... So instead of 'I like to think of myself as being rich' gold, I have pewter color...... What do you think?

I was so happy with the results that I did the, I have no idea whatcha call it, out in the living room.

For Christmas I asked for and received a new L.E.D light for the sink......

It's all about being GREEN as much as I can!!!!! Speaking of green, that's the color of my counter tops which has been discussed by everyone who has come to visit. There is no in between....... It's like former President W Bush, either ya hate or love him. So let me ask you fine people out there, what color counter tops should I go for?????

Also the floor has seen better days as well.... The damn kids used it for their canvas!!!" Look mom! I can kinda draw a straight line!" I want to get tile and again I need your help! What color should I get and FOR THE LOVE OF PETER, PAUL AND MARY! Something that I don't have to take out a 2nd mortgage to get!

I also got my own iPod!!!!! THANKS MOM! So now all of this:

Is on this!!! YA GOTTA LOVE TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!

On New Years eve the Haver clan spent a few nights with me..... It's usually absolute mayhem but I would not want it any other way. They brought 'Rock Band' and we hooked it up to the Wii.

I felt like the tour manager for Foghat back in the 70s. I had to break up shouting matches between the rhythm guitarist Mitch, the lead guitarist Holly and the singer Heidi. It was pretty funny how competitive they all are!!! As you can see, Natalie was a backup singer/ dancer......

Don't be fooled by Mitch's innocent look. He's a cold blooded Wii bowler! This kid would whoop me and talk smack while he did it!!!!! I tell ya!!! The youth of today!!! No respect for their elders.....

The house hadn't seen that much action since, well let's see??? Oh yeah, the last time they all were all here... But it's well worth it!!!!

That same day I was informed that I had jury duty for a week in January!!!!!! Everyone told me great ways to get out of it, like showing up with a confederate hat and a shirt saying 'Guns don't kill people, I do!!!!!!! But my favorite is asking the judge, "Does the state still offer firing squads as an option for a way to be executed??????"

And now a word from our sponsor, State of South Carolina Chamber of Commerce. We had a snow storm in January...

It snows down here about every three years or so. Gotta love it because:
  • No matter how little it snows, everything shuts down! It's like a snow day back when you were in school.
  • The snow stays around for maybe a day or two then it all melts and you are back to normal 55 degrees!
  • Did I mention EVERYTHING shuts down!?!?!
I waited till the coldest day of the year so far to go and get some of the broken concrete that I have been eying for a while. I figure that anything that would scare the poopy out of me is either dead or hibernating.

So with the truck and a shovel I went and loaded up....... Here comes one of those fancy slide shows for ya. Oh and before you say anything about "Gee???? He sure didn't put much in the back of the truck." The things were heavier than Rosie O'Donnell and as I've told you before, I'm not 18 anymore! So I did a little at a time.

Then in February we had another dose of the white stuff with some ice mixed in with it and I didn't go to work that day because I really didn't want to slide into a ditch or something. So I started to scrap and sand the walls in my bathroom...... I had a few areas where the paint was bubbling up......

I also replaced the crappy gold light that hangs above my mirror and the knobs and hinges on the cabinets..... GOOD GOD the people before me luuuuuuuuuved them some gold didn't they??? YAHTZEE!!!! Guess where I got a nice pewter light?????? Nope not Big Lots guess again! ALDI!!!!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! Aldi. Not just cheap food anymore!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

So the big race, Daytona 500, came and went. Beeker, I mean my friend Kyle,

made a ridiculous $100 bet with me and I won it, wanna see my shocked face?

After swappin' spit with his new buddy Boike in the shower, he decided to send the $100 in freaking dimes and shredded paper...... It took me about 2 hours to dig them all out..... But it's all good because I almost filled up a bottle with all them!!!!! Who's the joke on now buddy????

After getting my HUGE stimulus check thanks to Obama, just jerking your chain; I didn't get one so don't write your congressman asking where your check is, I decided to put an extra layer of insulation up in the attic.

Again, it's all about being efficient and saving my hard earned money so I can be taxed more by the government for taking care of the octuplet woman and her 25 kids. Also to contribute to her having more plastic surgery in her attempt to have the lips of Algenlina Jolie. Getting back to the insulation, it's a heck of a lot better to lay it out when it's not freakin' 105 up there!!! WATCH OUT!!!! I'm going to go Bill Nye 'the science guy' on ya! Heat rises and no matter how cool it is outside all the heat in your house collects up in your attic and causes it to be hotter then the hubs of hell up there!!! Plus it doesn't help that you have to cover up any exposed skin. I made the mistake of being up there in the afternoon and sweating like Michael Jackson on the witness stand!!!!

You know, sometimes it really good to live in a 'Mayberry' type town because the bottom hasn't fallen out in the real estate market like say CA, NV or FL!!!!! The Mexican Princess, Soraya, helped me with a SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET refinancing!!!!!!! So that means I can save money on my mortgage and use the extra dough as 'girl money'!!! SOYAYA IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!

As you can see, I have been doing my Wii yoga every morning!!!! The HOTTIE that is my trainer says I am a 'yoga master'!!! And who's to argue with her??????? She's HOT and smart!!! HOLLA!

In case you missed it, I posted this SWEET video of Dale Jr, actually it's my nephew Charlie at Halloween 2008.

He has some sweet moves doesn't he????

Well that's what's been up with me the last 4 months...... I'm going to enjoy a Dilly Bar with the boys.... Talk to you next month....

Oh and for your information the national debt is.................. Come on everybody!!!! Sing along! "And I'm proud to be an American................."

ONE MORE THING before I go........ Jack, the one in the middle, is Autistic and they are having an 'Autism Awareness' night at the Charlotte Checkers game this Saturday 4/4/09. If you are in the Charlotte area come and chat it up with me and buy me a beer thanking me for all of the hard work I put into this blog. We can also enjoy watching guys beat the living crap out of each other!!!! It will be better then watching somebody getting 'pepper sprayed' on COPS!

Friday, March 27, 2009

I have been doing this blog for about 4 years now and these are the most common emails I get from people that read it.

DISCLAIMER!!!! These are are my views as of right now! There is nothing saying that something or someone can come along and change them.... So don't think everything I say is written in stone. KRIPES!!! If our president changes his mind why can't I????
  • Why don't you have a pet? Well I personally think it's not fair to get a dog, that's the only pet I would get, and be gone for 10-12 hours a day. That's not fair to the pupper is it? When I get home all tired, he or she would want to play because they have been in the house all day..... I don't know about you but I'm not 21 anymore and I have a certain amount of energy left after 10 hours at work....
  • Why no girlfriend? That's another good question caller. I can look back and I can say I had one super serious relationship that lasted more than a year and that didn't end too well.... I didn't like that feeling..... So let me ask you? The average marriage ends in divorce the first two years. This might sound a little shallow of me but would you buy a car if you knew the odds are pretty good that it will break down in the next two years???? I didn't think so...... Your witness counselor!!!!
  • Do you really drive 60 mph on the highway? Damn right I do!!!! It's a fact that 60 mph is the most economical speed. Sorry y'all but I am never in a hurry to get anywhere and I truly love saving gas and money....... If you don't like being behind me then pass!!!! That's why there are two or more lanes on the interstate isn't it??????
  • Is there anything you won't talk about? Why yes there are. I will tell you fine folks out there in 'internet world' 95% of what I am thinking and doing.............. I look at it like this. If anything happens to me I don't want anyone to say "Gee, I wonder how Andy felt?"..... With that said, there are a few things that I will not say a peep about, so I write them down and seal them up and throw them in my vault only to be opened when I am no longer on this planet.
  • You are always talking about drinking. Do you have a problem that we need to know about? No problem here buddy...... Sure I like to have a beer or two watching some football or enjoying some suds with a friend or family member. Matter of fact, I rarely touch anything during the week. Now if I couldn't function without a drink then I would be asking you what your blood type is because I might need your liver because mine stopped working.

Whether in the car or watching TV, if I have something I think would be a good topic to talk about then I write it down along with all the other stuff I need. My brain is going 1000 MPH with ideas and things I need to do........

My coffee table is full of post em' notes and other items. Hey look!!! I've learned that I need to write any thought or idea down before I forget it...... Getting old's a bitch!

If you need more 'ANDY TIME' check me out my page on Facebook, the luxury box of network sites, or Myspace, the bleacher seats!


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