Wednesday, July 06, 2011

WOO HOO!!!! Over 11k + have checked out my blog!!! сладкий that's 'SWEET' in Russian my fellow comrades. I would like to thank the 10 people that actually read this and keep on hitting the 'refresh' button on their internet browser. First off, I am sorry that there has been a delay in posting this BUT I was on WORLD TOUR! I know everyone has been worried because I didn't post this on the 1st........ All sarcasm a side, Before we get to the WORLD TOUR, I have pictorial evidence that I, Andy McBride, is the nephew of MISS FIRE PAGEANT 1962! Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for MS. CECE (ROOT) CAWLEY

I would like to thank my fellow God parent, Cassie for a picture I have been looking for... ALSO I want to say that I AM NO LONGER A BOAT OWNER!!! They say that the two happiest days in a boaters life is when they buy a boat and when they sell it! I tend to agree! I told myself that I, ANDY McBRIDE, would become a priest if it didn't 'help' me get some and the last time I checked I ain't Father McBride! ANYWAYS! A guy drove 4 hours from GA. and bought it and took it home that night.

OK! Now on to the WORLD TOUR 2011! I'm soooooooooooo going to have a running dairy

Thursday 6-23 Mansfield, OH
The drive up was pretty uneventful, I drove 60MPH and so everyone including a few Amish People passed me.

OH WELL!!!! I bet they didn't get 40+ MPG like I did!!! 'ANDY' 1 'People that go faster than 60MPH' 0!!!! WOO HOO!!!! When I got into town I hung out with my Grandma McBride and she is still as spunky as ever! She can hardly see anything but BY GOD she'll do it and DAMN YOU for asking if she needs help. I learn something new every time I see her. KRIPES she told me that grandpa was in a car wreck when he was 17 and was in a FREAKIN' coma for 3 weeks! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! She also had me go through some photo albums and take whatever pictures I wanted. I found this one and gotta HUGE CHUCKLE when I saw it..... Here's proof that I'm not the only smart @$$ in the family, This is my dad, Uncle Bob and Uncle Dick back in he 70's!!!

OH AND don't THINK if my uncle Dick AND Bob still had those shirts that I wouldn't ask them for em' so I could wear em' for 'casual Friday'. I also got this picture of my Uncle Bob when he was in the Marine Corp in the 50's. I SWEAR it's a spitting image of my friend Thompson. You sure we aren't related? 

Friday 6-24 Mansfield, OH
Grandma took me to an old Howard Johnson's for breakfast AND gave me $50!!!! DRINKS ARE ON ME BABY!!! WOO HOO!!! At Kroger now because they have WIFI!!! Being connected to the WWW FREAKIN' RULES!!!!!!! Got a pizza and a sixer of beer and went and saw my Nana, She is 93 and GOD LOVE HER!!!! We chatted for awhile and I fed a baby that I found.

then I went to my cousin Chris' house! HE RULES!!! I hung out with him and drank beer while talking about cars and how cool our grandpa was and how our step grandfather Russ was WAY BEFORE HIS TIME when it came to being 'green'. He built a piping system made of black PVC pipe on his roof to help heat his pool. He didn't do it to save the earth, he did it because he thought he could save $! 

Saturday 6-25 Allegany, NY
Got up at 5:30AM and hit the road for A-TOWN (Allegany)..... Again! The drive was pretty uneventful BUT I did stop at the Chautauqua Lake rest stop and took this picture as proof that it ACTUALLY is real!

So when I say 'HOLY SH UH T AH K W UH LAKE' (with a 1 millisecond pause between SH UH and I say the rest of the word) and you got a problem with me saying it then write a letter to the Seneca Nation Tribe and complain to them about how one of the names they have in their language can be used as a cuss word. HOLY $@#T, also go and gamble at their casino! “WHITE MAN has screwed us over for 400+ years BUT WE HAVE the final laugh! It's called gambling!!! THE WHITE MAN LOVES TO GAMBLE and we LOVE taking your $!” I also stopped their because it has FREE WIFI!!!! Public housing= free WiFi! SAME THING RIGHT!?!?!? ANYWAYS, If you wanna see Amercana at it's finest then go to a small town parade,

 after I went to the carnival for BEER-PA-LOOZA II, it was sort of a let down, DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE seeing people I have not seen in years but it rained off and on and more people stayed home because of that plus some other things........

Sunday 6-26 Bolivar, NY
Hung out with my cousin Jeff who might be the FUNNIEST man EVER, and his wife today.

He took me to Texas Hots which is ALWAYS yummy and I got to hang out with one of his sons Connor! In this picture we had our mind on our $ and our $ on our mind...

then we went to SUNNY HILL which is a camper park up on a hill and drank a few more beers and sat around with my uncles/aunts and cousins, one that is dating a guy with a SWEET Kawasaki motorcycle! Oh and Princess Lea AKA Anne, my cousin snapped this picture of my God Daughter and I and after she had a 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED' cigarette..... LIGHT EM' IF YA GOT EM'!!!

I know people think that it's 'odd' that I do this BUT I like cleaning up friends of mine that have passed grave sites. It's the least I can do for people that are gone but not forgotten for making me the person I am today...

Also went to see some old friends and a OBI (Olean Business Institute) graduate, My mom and Lynda Kockler went there back in the sixties (to basically be a secretary) and Steve worked with my dad.

They took me to 'DA BEEF' The Beef and Barrel for lunch then Steve showed me around the Olean Airport, YES THERE IS ONE, KRIPES! I even have the shirt to prove it!

 It's a pretty small one but it was very cool that he showed me all the stuff out there.
Then I took Kara and another friend of ours who's UMMMMMMMM 'well endowed' to dinner at Angees,

Tuesday 6-28 Buffalo, NY
Went up to Buffalo today to see my cousin Christine and my great uncle and aunt Bernie and Carol. On the way up, I stopped at Ralph Wilson Stadium and bought a shirt then proceeded to walk around the stadium and take some pictures. KRIPES! What's the worst they can do? SAY “GET OUT.” Remember kids, It's ALWAYS easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission...

When I was done there I grabbed some lunch right next to the stadium and then went downtown to HSBC Arena where the Sabres play and loaded up on more t-shirts. Everything was half off! I don't know why but I'll take it!!!! It was like shopping at Big Lots! BRAND NAMES at CLOSE OUT prices ya know!!!!!! Then I went and hung out with my great uncle Bernie! He's pretty funny and told me some GREAT stories about my grandfather........ Christine then took me to the Ale House where we ate and her HOT friend let me check out her money maker while pretending to eat and UMMMMMM 'borrowed' a glass out of the establishment!!!!!! WOO HOO!!! Now I can enjoy a cold one in my Bills pint glass while they are getting CRUSHED and remember when Darryl Talley wore a Spider Man under shirt while the Bills were doing the CRUSHING of wimpy teams!!

Wednesday 6-29 Allegany, NY
Drove back to Allegany and snapped this picture of the chimney at the house I lived in when we lived in A-TOWN, Allegany.

No I ain't a freak, You see, I think it was circa 1980, Big Ron decided to 'extend' the chimney. As you can clearly see, it was NOT the best masonry job EVER! The bricks don't match, some would say, not even close. FUNNY! I wanted this picture so the next time he 'questions' my abilities, I will simply show him this picture and remind him where my 'abilities' come from. I sometimes can't remember what I had for lunch a few days ago BUT I sure as hell remember this SUPERB masonry job from 30+ years ago. Went to my friend Kara's house where her daughter Brynn DEMANDED that we watch some Justin Bieber videos...... Let me tell ya, IT WAS A JOY (rolling my eyes).

We then went to lunch at, DARE I SAY, the BEST EFFING PIZZA PLACE EVER!!!!! Things are 'different' between us BUT I really like helping her with the knowledge I have and helping her and Brynn with what I hear from this guy's pod casts. She doesn’t treat me like LITTLE ANDY that needs help wiping my nose. She had some money 'issues' and we spent the whole afternoon writing down all of her expenses and coming up with a budget for her and I thought of some other stuff that might help her and Brynn.... First and foremost! EVERY ONE needs to get this book! He explains stuff a lot better then I do! Anyways, I went back to Bolivar and hung out with my cousin Jeff and Kari and drank a few beers and he filled me in on some of the DRAMA that ALL families have!!!

Thursday 6-30 Bolivar/Allegany, NY, Emporium, PA (PENNS-A-TUCKY)
Woke up and had a beer because I'm on VACATION DAMMIT!!!

 Had lunch with an old friend who DEMANDED we go to Perkins because they serve SANKA! HA!!

KIDDING!!!! We drove in style there. That's a 'CHOPPED' 57 CHEVY BOYS AND GIRLS!

Drove down to Emporium, PENN-SA-TUCKY and I came with a gift to my cousin's wife Amanda. Just call me DR. CANCER!

She proofreads my blog. It use to be Steph but she has a 'CABANA BOY' and she is unreliable now. Got a little equation for ya: a carton of smokes $47/ 8 packs- $5.88 a pack X 365 days a year= $2144.38. Hope those cigarettes are worth it. She also gave me a gift! WOO HOO! HOOTERS RULE!!

We cooked in STYLE! Filet BEEEEEOOOOOOOTCHES!!!!!!! It was even more yummy thanks to Joe's BITCHIN' recipe for grilling ANIMAL!!!!!!
  • Red wine vinegar
  • Coarse black pepper
  • Garlic Salt
  • Season Salt
  • Splash red wine vinegar on both sides of the steak.
  • Use coarse black pepper on both sides of the steak.
  • Sprinkle garlic salt on one side, and season salt on the other side.
Do that about an hour before grilling, and leave the steak out so they come up to room temperature before throwing them on the grill. And let me tell ya, IT WAS YUMMY!!!! We then sat around a drank a few 'adult beverages' and discusses some of the family 'issues' that his order brother Jeff told me about...

Friday 7-1 Johnstown, PA
Next stop on the tour was seeing my old friend CARB and his family in Johnstown, PA, You might have heard of it. They had only the WORST flooding disaster in the USA and also one of the funniest movies was filmed there too.

Carb and his awesome wife and two (FUNNY AS HELL) little boys live in a SWEET house that has a FREAKIN MAID BELL so you can RING your woman and say!!! “WOMAN! I WANT MORE POTATOES!!!!” HA!!!!!

He's an attorney and his 'advice' on issues that arise are priceless. On a sobering note, he took me to the Flight 93 site....I still can't wrap my head around that flying a plane into a building and killing innocent people all in the name of your religion is justified.

Saturday 7-2 Marshall, VA

I proceeded to fill them in on my roof 'experience' and my tour so far. All the time drinking some beer and watching some racin' (RUBBIN'S RACIN').

Sunday 7-3 Marshall, VA
We packed up some stuff and went to the Shenandoah river for a 3+ hour tour (Went down stream in inner tubes). It's kinda big business to be a rafting company on the river and so we shared some quality time with a family originally from India and currently residing in the fine state of New Jersey (ROLLING MY EYES AGAIN). We had a GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT time, 'marinating' while pondering life, who is on the 'celebrating list' and drinking a few..... It's the simple things folks!!! Had some Mexican which was YUMMY IN MY TUMMY! ARIBA!! Then like clock work, came home, took a shower and then went to bed.

Monday 7-4 Marshall, VA
WOO HOO!!!!!! Celebrating our independence BEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTCHES! Hatcher, a guy that HATED me the first time he met me but has changed his opinion of me though the years,

came over to the BOIKE/MESE farm and we all hung out and relaxed in a pool and YES some beer was consumed.

It wasn't like PAST July 4th that consisted of floating in tubes all day while drinking, beating the crap out of a jet ski that one of my former boss's had me keep so his ex wife wouldn't try to get it in the divorce, having people pass out in a hammock, heading out in the middle of the night and finding a cove to drink while listening to the hair nation on Sirius, watching a punk with a white man Afro and wearing a wet suit talk smack about how good of a knee boarder they are and watch them do a face plant while trying to do a 'dock start', taking a bowie in the dead of night then taking pictures with it as if we caught a huge fish, but it was groovy.

Tuesday 7-5 Marshall, VA
Spent my last day in VA, picking rocks, riding the 4 wheeler around and doing some BUSH HOGGING, It's a huge lawn mower on tractor....CHECK THAT, I didn’t even make it on the tractor. The day just pretty much consisted of laying around, drinking a few beers, watching some TV and taking a nap. It was pretty much a NONproductive day and I'm alright with that..

Oh I did dip my feet in the pool! That took a lot of work to do.

Wednesday 7-6 HOME L-TOWN (Lancaster, SC)
The 'WORLD TOUR 2011' is over and I logged over 1700 miles. I am already looking forward to 2012! I have a few days before I have to be back at work so I'll work on my truck so it will start and go to the dump and unload the rest of the old roof, tile the bathroom floor, work on a few things out in the yard and just basically get back into the 'swing of things'. OH and SHAVE after not having busted out a razor since June 25th. 

Now this is my opinion and as we all know 'opinions are like @$$ holes, EVERYBODY has one', I think you can take your exotic vacations to Europe or the Bahamas and shove them where the sun don't shine. I like going and seeing people that have shaped me into the person I am today and doing stuff for others like clean up their grave. It means more to them that you are coming to see them. People remember that stuff more than if you brag about how you went to Paris. Hey speaking of the French. I was on eBay the other night and someone had an auction for a French rifle, the description said 'twice dropped and NEVER fired' WOO HOO!!! That will rile up some of the PEPE LE PEW's that read this!

OH and in case you were wondering, I think I drank enough beer the last two weeks to fill this TANKER. I think I need to take a break for a few weeks BUT I have a dilemma. You see, when I go on my 'tour' people I go and see get PBR because they know I like it and when I'm about to leave they say "NOT SO FAST SON, You are taking the rest of the PBR because I'm sure as HECK not gonna drink it." So I have a refrigerator full of it.  

Making the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:  This months marks the first time I had to get up on my HOT @$$ roof and fix a leak! I sweated soooo bad! It was like if OJ had to take the witness stand in 1994! Remember y'all, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."


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