This BLOG SUUUUUUUCKS!: 2017

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

TAKING A BREAK!

In the mean time, talks among your selves.

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

K-A-L-E AND S-p-i-n-a-c-h

That's right kids, I eat it with 99% of the stuff I make.....

Do I LOVE it and I am excited as the fat kid above to eat it??? NO, BUT I do anyways because I have to eat vegetables every day, AT LEAST that's what EVERYONE says. I freeze it, put it in a blender and mix it in with what I am eating, mashed potatoes, rice, hamburger helper, ETC... KRIPES, I EVEN grow the stuff year round in my little garden (spring) or on the window sill in my kitchen (winter)...

Kale, I grow in my little garden.

Any farmers, or wanna be's like Boike, might not agree with the way I grow it but it seems to work......So there you go and remember, I am not a farmer and have NEVER claimed to be, but I did look FINE on a tractor!!!


DANG!!!! Look at my arms! I was soooooooooo lookin' FINE!

In other news, I have FINALLY finished my chimney so I don't get a huge cloud of smoke when the winds blowing and water from rain is not an issue.

SURE it might look "ghetto" but it will work just fine.

And I downloaded and use Grammarly.com now. so there is no need for someone to proofread. I wanna thanks to Ms. Kate K. for ALWAYS proofreading my blog right before I was to post it. She did this for years!

Kate K and I have been rollin' since 1973!

Also, it might be the end of the line for my 1997 F-150. She is acting up with engine "ISSUES". Not sure what I might do with her yet. Details at a later date. Talk to ya next month AND don't be that guy/gal that writes a check your @$$ can't cash!

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Delivering the GOODS!

This new part time gig I have is going good and I have A LOT of time to ponder. Here are just a few of my thoughts:

There is this gated community (GREAT tippers) off of a road named Possum Hollow Rd. I can only image the conversation between a resident there and his/her friend. Person 'A'- "Hey there! I have not seen you in like 20 years! We need to catch up! Can you come over to my place for dinner? Person 'B'- "that would be great, give me directions and my family and I will be there." Person 'A'- Well it's right off of Possum Hollow Rd. and NO it's not a trailer park!"
I have made some deliveries to neighborhood pools and MAN! They are more than I remember! KRIPES, a slide and a diving board was what made your pool stand out from the others. Now they have water slides and all kinds of goodies.
I rarely get an irate customer. Sure working with the public can suck but. All you have to do is ask them about their dog/cat that usually greets you at the door and if it's a lady, you just call her 'young lady' and they melt in your hands! Now I don't say I have a 100% rating with this method but it's 99.9%.
WAZE!!! I recommend this for ALL! It has helped me out BIG TIME.
I am one of the very few at the pizzeria that do NOT smoke. MY GOD!?!? OH WELL! I'm all about FREEWILL. YOU and your actions CHOOSE your destiny.

Sorry for another short entry and remember what JFK said, "Forgive your enemies BUT never forget their names."

OH AND! Not sure where you ended up 'C' but the plastic surgeons in Mexico that gave you those 'stripper boobs and butt' will sorely miss you and your pay check.

See you next month.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The U.S.S BONG AND OTHER STUFF!!!!

NO!!! That was not her name but we did name a DR.PEPPER promotional blow up raft our friend in high school brought out to the lake. Let's get back on track, OKIE DOKIE!?!?!?!

My neighbors and I were hanging out on DA ODE TO BOOB (AKA- my fire pit) and they were talking about having a boat and the fun they would have. This sent me in a "reminiscing" mood and I decided to write ANOTHER part of my life that was VERY GOOD to me!!!!! Let's start from the beginning shall we?

The Thunderbird tri hull AKA 'cirrhosis of the river ':

Not sure who named it that but, Boike bought an old Thunderbird TRI HULL boat. He bought the thing when it was just held up by Styrofoam blocks NO trailer! HA!!! He told me that he bought it for $500!! FYI! We got more than $500 out of it!!! TRUST ME!!! We didn't care that it had no seats, just a Styrofoam block to sit on when driving. We didn't care if the back where the outboard motor was, had to be reinforced with metal rods so the engine wouldn't fall off the boat when you hit the throttle. We had a boat! I and others skied, wake boarded, knee boarded and pimped around the lake in it. It was just GREAT to get off work, I was a lifeguard, if you can call that work, drive down to Lake Wylie and ski the evening away. KRIPES, I am NOT afraid to tell ya, that I and others would even ski naked just to shock the people on the shore. COME ON!! We were young, built like Greek Gods and stupid. Did I mention that WE HAD A BOAT? We didn't care if it was a piece of CR@P. I vividly remember Scott F, Joe W. and I driving it up to the bar/restaurant on the lake(T-BONES) and parking it between two sweet @$$ boats. We went up on the deck, ordered a few beers and starting talking to some ladies. We said look at that boat and they both said, "That BIG one there?" We said "Nope", They said, "oh that nice one there?" We said "Not that one either. Look at the one between those two, THAT'S our boat!" HA!!! We were soooooo proud of that thing.


TRUST ME! The one that he had was NOT this nice looking.

77 Mastercraft

Next was this beauty, a 1977 MasterCraft ski boat with a 351 V8 and man it flew.... I just got out of college and dreamed BIG!!!! KRIPES I got a 1997 F150 (as of 2017, I still have it) with the biggest V8 Ford made that year in it... It was perfect because it pulled this thing around too. Oh and gas was super cheap, I vividly remember getting it for .69 cents per gallon! HA! ANYWAYS, I bought it from a girl who knew it was about to go, probably someone told her to just fix it enough for someone to test drive it and buy it. Boike went with me for a test drive. It was on Mountain Island Lake in NC and it ran pretty sweet, the only thing that sucked was that the girl didn't have enough life jackets for all of us and Boike ended up with a fine... I bought it for $4000, he lent me $2000 so I could buy it. I think we had it out once or twice before we had 'issues' with it. Not to sound 'technical' but the manifolds were cracked and the top of the engine where the combustion happens, was drowning in all the water... MAN, I was had. I took it to a mechanic friend of mine and we had to tear the whole top of the engine apart and clean out all the water and I had to get new exhaust manifolds for it. Trust me, it was not cheap. This was also the same time I moved to WI.. My girlfriend at the time and I drove back to NC. to get the boat. WELL, we were driving back to WI. with it and one of the wheel bearings went on the trailer. It was 2AM in Florence, KY. I was TIRED and PISSED! I was able to limp it to a parking lot where a police officer was. She asked us what the issue was and I explained everything and jokingly asked her if she wanted to buy a boat. To my surprise, she said that she was wanting one. She looked it over and asked how much. I gave her a price and she agreed to buy it. She then told me to meet her at the courthouse at 9am to sign it all over to her. We did that and BAM! It was done. She had a 77 MasterCraft!

99 Rinker

I was up in WI. and my brother's future wife had a pristine 1999 Rinker that her and ex husband had. Now, my brother and her were NOT "boat people" and so they called me with a propitiation.The deal was that if I moved back to NC, I could have the boat! HELL YEAH! I told myself that if this boat did not "HELP" me out in certain situations than I would give it all up and become a priest. BTW- the last time I checked, I am not Father McBride. ANYWAY! When I bought "CASA DE MCBRIDE" in 2005, The boats days were numbered because I lived like 35 miles from the lake and it WAS not cheap to fill up the truck and boat for a day of fun ($200+). I put it on Craig List and a kid from GA. emailed me right away and told me he was going to drive up and see it. WHOW! That is a haul but he was determined! He came up around midnight and just wanted to make sure the engine turned over. It did and he made an offer and I accepted it. I helped him hook it up to his truck and he was off back to GA.

AND that concluded my time as a boat owner. This statement sums it all up for a former boat owner, THERE are two days that are GREAT when you get a boat, the day you first get it and the day you sell it. They are "money pits" and I could go on and on about NOT having one BUT that is for YOU to learn when you have one.

This is what I have been up to the last month:

Finished my 1st semester of school. FYI- All "A's" but one "B"
Started summer school and I MIGHT be "over my head" with a class or two. I might need to take it down a notch and reduce my classes. We will see!
Got a little part time job delivering pizza at night.

1. MAN! It's a CASH cow!
2. The key for a good tip is JUST to be nice and presentable to people... FOR THE LOVE OF
GOD, JUST SHAVE DANG NABBIT!
3. If you are looking for an easy job than become one. Words cannot describe how easy it is!
Dare I say It's as easy as my prom date, FYI- I didn't even go to prom!

I also go and donate plasma between the break in my classes. THEY pay you $50 every time! I would do it for free due to all the great things they can do with your plasma but I sure am NOT going to complain that they pay me!
Went out to dinner with an old co worker from Wells Fargo and had a great time catching up.
Took the advise of "ROCK CANDY" and installed an old crate to hold my yard tools I have in the garage.

Installed a damper on the wood stove so it doesn't get as HOT as "the hubs of HELL"1 in the backroom.

As you can see, it was made in CHINA!

STILL getting depressed about stuff BUT I just put on my "Big Boy Britches" and deal with it.

That's all for this month! Talk to you soon.

1. There was this guy when Boike and I went to Talledega and he said, "MAN, it is hotter than the hubs of hell!". Boike and I looked at each other with a "What the heck does that mean?" BUT! We say it all the time!

Monday, May 01, 2017

UGH! TOO DEPRESSED...

To blog this month. I just let too many things pile up on me and I CANNOT stop thinking about them: Turned 44, am I doing the right thing with the going back to school thing, my future health "issues", $ issues" (even though I have plenty, I STILL freak out about it), etc. JUST stupid stuff that is called LIFE! ANYWAYS, I will just leave you with this.

This is one of my FAVORITE songs EVVVVVVVER! Reminds me of being a care free kid and not having so many thing to worry about.

Don't worry, this will pass and I will be back on my feet again. Talk to you next month.

Saturday, April 01, 2017

Love/ Hate

First of all, Love/Hate's album was one of the BEST "raunchy" albums EVVVVVVER. ANYWAYS, I love binge watching home improvement shows! Even though I KNOW how they work. I wasn't a TV/RADIO production major for nothing! It starts with introducing the subject of the show, EX. A couple. Next they add DRAMA to the project like how the contractor found (INSERT ISSUE HERE) and that it is above their budget. The ending consists of everyone being HAPPY and all is well! I still yell at the TV: "I can do that", "That's too much"or "Honey, MAKE DUE with what you've got and be patient, pay for stuff when you have the $". KRIPES, I have ALWAYS been that way, when I was a kid and watching car shows, they did the same thing. MAKE IT DRAMATIC! That is the FIRST thing they teach you when you are a TV/RADIO communications major. "Sell the sizzle not just the steak." AHHHHHH R.I.P Mr. Rickles!

This SORTA leads me to this.... I was on Twitter the other day and I follow Adam Carolla
and he posted requests for home improvement ideas for a new show he is going to host on Spike TV. I replied with some some stuff I have already done to casa de McBride like making a concrete fire pit shaped like the perfect b@@b and stupid stuff like that. WELL a day later the producers called me and asked me all about my house and what projects I have planned. They explained that Adam will go to people's houses and help them with a project they are doing. Here is my dilemma, I HAVE NO PROJECTS IN THE NEAR FUTURE! Any suggestions?

HAIL, HAIL R'n'R Mr. Berry R.I.P

HA! Was I the only one that said 'what the HELL was that?" When Yoko screams or whatever see does into the mic. Also, who was the genius that gave her a live mic???

Sorry this is so short, talk to you kids next month.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

The ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

When I worked at Wells Fargo and I handled subprime loans, the best example of my theory of that there are two types of people in the world: RENTERS and OWNERS, was unclogging a toilet. If you could handle the fact that YOU had to fix it NOT call a freakin' landlord than YOU could handle the whole 'homeowner thing'.

I am not going to go 'FULL BLOWN T.M.I' on ya so I will just say that my eating habits have not changed but I STILL had to flush the toilet a few times when I....... SOOOOOOOOO I went under the house and 'snaked out' the pipe from the toilet to the septic tank, fyi- that sewer pipe STUUUUUUUNK! Then I took the toilet off and cleaned off the wax seal and replaced with this.

I am happy to report that all is OKIE DOKIE now! It flushes like a champ now! My bowel movements and I am very happy with this! I am ecstatic I could share this with you.

In OTHER news:

HA! But seriously, I do like trees even though my elderly neighbor asked me "you don't like trees do you?". Let me rephrase that: I DO like trees BUT-

If a tree has the future potential to touch casa de McBride than I cut it down.1
If it is a smaller one that has no chance of growing, usually it sucks the nutrients from the bigger ones. Any arborist will tell ya, little JUNKY trees do not help the bigger ones keep healthy. They steal the water when it rains from the bigger ones..
OR it is a PINE or CEDAR TREE! Those are some weak trees when it comes to ice.

I usually cut the tree down with my good ol' saz-all and cheap pruning blades for Harbor Freight. They usually sit there until friends like Boike or Todd can come down and cut them up for me.


BOIKE using Marvella (My chainsaw) to show those logs who is boss			, HIM!

Todd cutting up some logs at
casa de McBride...

I will have plenty of wood to burn in my newly installed wood stove AND DA B##B aka, fire pit. The only tree I DON'T burn is cedar. Why you ask, because the sap in the wood POPS A LOT when burned. The last thing you need is sparks from a POP coming at you when you are enjoying a good fire with, in my case, an N/A beer with friends. HECK, I will even burn the pine. You just need to let it age longer then the six months the article states for aging hard woods. SORRY to get all wood-NERDY on ya. Just remember this- cedar and treated wood =BAD, all other woods= GOOD to burn.

I also made this, NOW I know why people are always talking about government waste! The crew that redid our road, just left this stuff MONTHS AGO! The pole is an old street and the boards are from an old construction sign. AGAIN! They left this stuff!

The marker I have at the corner of my property,
I got the idea for places and the miles to them
from an old TV show.

Before I go for the month, I want to say THANKS to my parents! I was REALLY depressed about all kinds of stuff for a few days and they let me hang out with them. FYI- No matter how old ya are, parents are ALWAYS there for ya. ALSO Jen S. who told me that she actually "googles" my name each month to read my blog! I was flabbergasted by this and very thankful someone deems me important enough for them to actually work to find my blog.2

1. You NEVER want a branch from a tree touching your house because it can give a critter easy access.

2. I send out an email to people on my account, notifying them to check out my blog. I noticed that her name was not on my list and so I asked her how she knows to look for it. She gave me the scoop.

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Pot Belly Pig (NO, not really!)

But POT BELLY is in the name... Let me explain. They use to have POT BELLY wood stoves in railroad stations and cabooses. I asked Boike to be on the lookout for one and being the SMART @$$ he is, he wanted me to buy a whole caboose and put it in my backyard. So I did the next best thing. Here ya go DUDEZILLA!


This is an 'N' gauge caboose I found in one of my closets. So Boike, here is your caboose!

My friend Kaye up in Erie, PA had one just sitting outside and she gave it to me. Here is some time lapse videos for ya of me wire brushing an painting it. ENJOY!

Jimmy, my cool neighbor, came over and helped me install the through the wall chimney.

Don't worry Mert and Lynn, It's a triple layered thru the wall one. It's NOT a freakin' pipe that Jimmy and I put through the freakin' wall. ANYWAYS, thanks to the fine folks at McBride Building supply (no I am not kin) and Home Depot, I can now enjoy my morning JOE (coffee) without freezing my butt off in the back room.

TEMPORARY but it will do for now.

OH and don't worry mom and ALL of the mothers out there. I have these too.

Fire Extinguisher, smoke and a carbon monoxide Detector

Now that I have a stove, all I need is a bear skin rug in front of it and it will be like 'bees to a hive' with the ladies.

FYI- school is going good, There are one or two punks, I MEAN, other students that I think are 'tools' but there are PUNKS everywhere! Another thing is that EVERYTHING is on the internet now. Homework, class notes, ETC! AHHH TECHNOLOGY! To all 4 people that actually read this, I am taking an English class so if you notice that my writing is different. You will know why.

Have a great month and I will talk to ya later.

Sunday, January 01, 2017

NEW YEAR= NEW ATTITUDE! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

KRIPES, How many times do you here that the first week of the year?

FYI- This AIN'T one of them! It just so happens that January is when the semester starts. After spending the last 8 months working around the house and taking a couple of trips:

I decided to go back to school to get my I.T degree. Sure I am nervous! KRIPES, I LOATHED school BUT when it came to college, I treated it as a job and 'dealt' with my demons and did OKIE DOKIE. If I recall, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA. This may NOT sound like that big of a deal BUT my G.P.A in high school was 2.6. I KNOW there will be challenges1 BUT that's life and I HAVE to accept it. So classes in the morning and a part time job in the afternoon and evening, AT LEAST that is the plan. Wish me luck kiddos!

And STILL in the Christmas spirit!

FLASHBACK TO 12/1976:

The McBride clan lived on Dean St. in Olean, NY. We had an elderly couple (the Flemings) that lived next door. For Christmas they had an old Christmas light wheel that I thought was the 'cat's meow'. To me, it was a mechanical MARVEL, but in reality; it was a freakin' flood light and 4 different color lenses that spun around.

12/16 (40 years later)

I went the day after baby Jesus's birthday to one of the GREATEST stores in modern civilization, Big Lots, and bought, 75% off, the 21st century version of the GREAT 'FLEMING CHRISTMAS WHEEL'. WOO HOO!

That's all for now, Sorry this is so short but I need to study up more math.

1 I had to take a placement test for my I.T degree. I took it once and let's just say that the math part took me behind the wood shed and beat the BEJESUS out of me! 20+ years of not using too much of it was a HUGE factor. ANYWAYS, I go to the local library to study up on MATH so I can take it AGAIN. The other day, a black guy, YES I just told you his race (NOT PC of me I know) because these companies PREY on these folks. He was having a problem filling out the application for some cash he needed to borrow, on-line. He asked me if I could help him out, WHICH I was more then happy to do. We fixed the issues and it spit out what he was qualified for and it made me GASP in shock! The EFFFFIN' interest rate was 300%! In perspective, the interest for mortgages are CLICK ON THE LINK This is why I DESPISE this industry, they feed on poor people that are desperate and scared. After thinking about it, he walked by me and said that he won't do it and I responded 'You are a good man for NOT doing it."

This BLOG SUUUUUUUCKS!