I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I don't have a blog post for ya this month BUT come 10-1-12. IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!! Hopefully this will tide you over until then!!

GOING GREEN

 and it is NOT because Al Gore told me to!

I'm NOT a full blown HIPPY that's ALL about being green but I did have a friend that lived in a freakin' TEE PEE!!!! HA!!!!!

Oh and FYI, It was nice inside.... Anyways, I'm 'somewhat' green. I do my research on something (EXAMPLE Hot water on demand system) and 'crunch the #'s to see if I can save money and most of the time, I DO!!! Sorry all you 'tree huggers' out there, some ideas like solar panels are JUST NOT FEASIBLE! No matter how you 'spin it' you'll NEVER recoup the $ you spent to have them installed..... Where was I? Sure you will pay more for an 'environmentally friendly' product BUT 9 out of 10 times you make the $ back by the saving of not using so much water and or fuel....... REMEMBER!!!! Look at being a turtle not a rabbit.....

• Let's go back to 2006 and my uncle Bill had a 'hot water on demand' system installed and this sooooooooooo sparked my curiosity. I started doing the research to have one at casa de McBride. I found one that suited my needs and had it installed! PLUS getting a $500 tax credit, NOT a tax deduction helped too!!!

I have enjoyed hot showers to pee in EVER SINCE AND saving $ while doing it!!!!!! That right there is a WIN/WIN situation!

• I also have ALL lights bulbs at casa de McBride replaced with either an L.E.D or a C.F.L one. They save so much $ compared to regular incandescent ones. MARK MY WORDS! 'Andy McBride stated on 8/1/12 that' "L.E.D lighting WILL be our primary light source in the next 10 years."  For now check with your local power company to see if they will give you some FREE CFL bulbs. I know mine did!!!! WOO HOO!!!! OH AND yes there is a risk if you BREAK a CFL bulb but let me ask you, isn't there a GREATER risk of you being in an auto accident? Just some food for thought.
• I'm also the proud owner of a SWEET can crusher (99% beer cans) that the lovely Kim, I went to school with her in A-TOWN (Allegany) gave me..... Now I can save space in my recycling bin for ALL the FREAKIN' paper crap I get in the mail and killing my liver while helping out mother Earth!! That right there is a SWEEEEEET combo!!!
  
  

  
• Finally we have come to my SWEET rain barrelS. That's right, I said barrel PLURAL! Thanks to the wisdom from an old friend Dan 'OBI WON' Brill, I have two in the back of the house. They are easy as a prom date to install to your gutters and you will be the ENVY of your neighbors when your plants are THRIVING and theirs are not due to them not getting any water....
  
  

  

OH and I have started a countdown to when I CUT my hair to donate it.... FYI, My hair isn't long yet BUT it's sooooooooooooo driving me crazy!!!!! At this rate, I will soooooooooooooooo look like an 'occupy wall street' guy..... Minus the smell of patchouli and the urge to form a 'drum circle' jamming to Rusted Root...

Now it's time for 'BLOGGING 101' Lesson 1: so pay attention because there might be a pop quiz!!! If you are like my parents and tell me that "I didn't see that when I read your blog" more than likely it's because you didn't click on the link/hyper link I gave ya....... When you see this: LINK (notice how it's a different color than the rest of the words in the sentence)? Click on it and it will send you to a page explaining 'in depth' the topic I am referring to. It's just an added feature I spend my extra time doing to help EDUCATE YOU!!! Now for the pop quiz, "A ???????, or simply a ????, is a reference in a hypertext document to another document or other resource."

That's all I got for ya this month and as always be like 'some people I know' and make sure to say to me "I LOVE YOUR BLOG" when you have never actually read it....... 

Oh and one more thing, I MIGHT being looking for, yet another, proofreader because the one I have now has been M.I.A the last couple months and I live by the '3 strikes and you are out' mentality.. She has two strikes and she has 'fouled off' the third pitch to stay alive...... I will let you know after this month. My assistant will be accepting applications starting August 1st.....

I am truly sorry to the handful of people that read this for NOT posting this bright and early on the first
BUT I was still conducting the 'McBride World Tour 2012', I was in Johnstown, PA enjoying a cup of coffee when I typed this. Here are mostly the highlights and a (VERY FEW) low lights of the WORLD TOUR!!! Remember kids, you'll pay for the whole seat BUT only need the edge!

First stop: Mansfield, OH to see my 93 year old Grandma McBride, my Nana, and cousins.... Grandma is STILL very spunky, she lives in an assisted living complex but STILL is very independent although she is limited by her macular degeneration. Then I saw my Nana in a nursing home. All I can say is that the cycle of life SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was hard for her to even know who I was. Did this upset me? I ask you, does a bear poop in the woods!?!?!?!?!!

After that emotional roller coaster, I spent that night at my cousin Chris's house.  I found some beer that I and everyone I asked, never heard of.. You kinda know it's bad when it's in between the Stroh's and Natural ICE!!

So you know, my father's family is VERY 'different' and I have ALWAYS had questions....... Some were answered. PLUS!!!! It may mean nothing to y'all BUT he gave me my Grandpa McBride's old license plate! I LOOOOOOOOOVE getting sentimental stuff!

The next day I drove up to Cleveland to Scott and Dustin's CASA!!! Scotty took me to the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame!

It was cool EVEN if it was $22 bucks to EFFing get in there!!!! TALK ABOUT BREAKING THE BANK!!!! Anyways, We were in the gift shop checking out the OVERPRICED shirts when I heard that Kim Monroe was broadcasting from there. I soooooooo worked with her during my 106.5 days. Needless to say, I was scared of her then and after 15 years, I am STILL scared of her so I didn't say anything to her....Scotty then took my all around Cleveland and I must say, I have NEVER seen more draw bridges in my life. Sorry, I had to let that out..... That evening consisted of us hanging out with some beer and wine. HA!! I even got my car washed! Scotty just stood up from the table and proceeded to wash it while Dustin and I just watched and drank more. Being 39, I SHOULD KNOW, to never mix beer and wine because the next day is NOT 'pleasant'.... I was NOT feeling too well the next day when I was going to BEER-PA-LOOZA 'version 3.0'. I stopped at my friend Scott's house in Erie, Pa..... He makes homemade beer and the plan was for me to have some BUT being I felt like 'walking death', I drank a cup of coffee and he gave me a bottle of his well crafted beer for a future time. UP NEXT was A-TOWN (Allegany, NY) for BEER-PA-LOOZA 'version 3.0'...... There were shirts made this year!

First off I want to apologize to everyone I saw because I was so sick and very mellow..... I was 'over served' the night before and I would have drank some more beer with ya if you didn't mind me puking on ya...... AS ALWAYS, it was great seeing everyone and THANKS for coming even though I felt like this guy.

The next week I stayed up in western N.Y just going down memory lane. One day I walked by our old house (I SWEAR IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE SANFORD AND SON LIVED IN IT BACK THEN)

Almost everyday started with James and Connor, my cousin Jeff's sons,

and I chilling out watching Wild Kratts. Then I would lay around and drink some beers for the rest of the day. One day I went up to Buffalo for some Bills and Sabres gear AND have lunch with an old friend that I haven't seen in 24 years at the Anchor Bar.....  As always, I cleaned up some friend's and family's graves, went and picked out some paintings for something I can't talk about as of yet, by the young lady Anne Conroy-Baiter. HA!!! Her little girls are pretty funny too! They got their own blog!!!! Another day I went over to see my parent's old friends the Kocklers. Mrs. (Lynda) proceeded to tell me about being a virgin before she met Mr. (Steve), I then threw up a little in my mouth!!!! MY GOD!!! It's like when a 'BONER' commercial comes on when pops and I are watching football. EM-BARR-ASS-ING!!! I of course hit up Renna's pizza almost everyday for, DARE I SAY, the BEST pizza EVER!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM GOOD!!!!!! KRIPES!!! It's so good, I even bought a shirt to proudly wear down here so I can hear true southerners TRY to pronounce it in their southern accent....

Next stop was the HUGE metropolis of Emporium, PA (PENNSATUKEY)

to hang out with my cousin Joe and his breast feeding NAZI wife! OH and the kids too! Michael, the youngest, won't even talk to me... Lia, the oldest, was too busy staying at her nana's talking about Twighlight with her AMAZONIAN cousin to hang out with me but my pal Ian was ALL about hanging out. How old is he? No idea but all I know is that the kid is old enough to drink with me!!!! MAN!!!! He can 'shotgun' a beer I tell ya!

The next stop took me to my friend Mike Carbonara's house in Johnstown.

As this ad will tell you, he can soooooooooo help you get the 5 years of unpaid child support that your lazy, no good, two timing, good for nothing, dead beat EX owes ya! HA!!!!  On my way down to the Boike/Mese farm, I stopped and took this picture. Two things came to mind: 1. Why are we NOT using more of this things? 2. There is diffidently a 'buzz' when they are going, so I can see people that live near one don't like them. 

After my little pit stop, I was off to the Boike/Mese farm in Marsall, VA. I planned to stay more than one day there but they had a bad storm that knocked out their power for almost 3 days but in that one day, He and I worked up quite a sweat. I drove his new John Deere

 and we collected bails of hay (BARLEY)... 

After being outside in 90+ degree heats, I went 'CAMPING' and took a shower on the front porch using one of these.

Don't laugh, They work quite well....... ANYWAYS, we then went to Fosters where Mo and Travis gave me a SWEET @SS hat!!!!

The final stop was the GAS HOUSE (Gastonia, NC) for a party at casa de papa Deibler for July 4th. Joelle and her EQUALLY hot sister ROCK CANDY (Amy), I call her that because she's HOT, STICKY and SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET,  hung out pool side and we talked about how rough a life is having to travel to Paris and Milan for photo shoots......



I say this EVERY YEAR BUT being this is my blog, YOU will have to read it AGAIN! I, Andy McBride, LOVE doing this!!!! Going to see family and old friends will ALWAYS trump going to some exotic place. That's all I got for you this month and AGAIN I am TRULY sorry to the very FEW people that read this for the 7 day delay!!! Oh and FYI, I’ll pee in a cup ANYTIME, ANYWHERE or ANY PLACE! I’ll pass with flying colors, you will too RIGHT!?!?!?

NEMISIS

Batman has the Joker, G.I Joe has COBRA, Sheriff Roscue P. Coltran has the Duke boys and I have a guy that is the spitting image of Wilford Brimley at the county dump..... Our back and forth feud began last summer when I was dumping some old shingles from my roof. Trust me, I have seen plenty of people dump them before!!!! I have figured that it ALL depends on who is the attendant that day because ‘Smoke Stack’, he is a chain smoker, is a cool guy. Through the years he has seen me come in and I ALWAYS talk to him. He’s laid back and if he sees me dumping something that’s ‘questionable’ he simple comes up to me and says that “You can’t dump that anymore. Please don’t get mad and never come back, It’s just that the company that recycles this stuff does not accept it.” He is very nice about it and I ‘RESPECT HIM’ and everything is copacetic. NOW with Wilford Brimley it’s a DIFFERENT story! He makes it a point to yell across the way at me saying, “WE DON’T ACCEPT THAT!” and does his best to embarrass me in front of the other people there. Since our first ‘encounter’ He questions EVERYTHING I bring. From batteries that I try to recycle, landscaping timbers and the old wood from my steps. He ‘inspects’ my car trunk when he sees me there. Depending on my mood, I just ignore him but sometimes my 'Uncle Dick' will come out and I will look for a confrontation with him and ask “CAN I HELP YOU!?” He’ll question something I have and I’ll say “LOOK JACK@$$, we go through this every EFFING time I come in here and YOU are doing a GREAT job at riling me up.” I get so fired up that I leave there without dumping anything! So most of the time, I load up my car with my recyclables and garbage and just stop at the other dump on the way home from work. The attendants are nice and it’s less stress to deal with.

In other news, I’m pretty sure I did more than pull a muscle in my arm because it hurts like a MOTHER when I try to do simple stuff like grab something out of the refrigerator. I’m not at liberty to tell you how it might have happened at this time. Just know that I was NOT doing anything out of the ordinary. I will tell you in due time Jedis. Patience…. 

AND LOOK!!!! I finally completed the steps!!!! Even with my arm all jacked up!

My friend Adam AKA ‘BoxcarWilly’ came over and helped me install them,

He couldn’t stay long because he had to catch a freight train going up to Beckley, WV. WHY there? I have no idea but being the HOBO he is, I don’t ask where and why he hops on freight trains. WHO AM I TO JUDGE!?!?!?

As you know, I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV the times I can just eat sunflower seeds and ponder life... Here is one of those times,

The porch is pressure washed and SEALED and might I say DANG GOOD LOOKIN' TOO!!!! YEAP! You 'saw right' I'm looking a little like Shaggy, ZOINKS!!!! I have chosen to grow my hair for a year and have it cut and donate it to Locks Of Love for kids with cancer..... It's the least I can do for poor kids that have to go through chemotherapy. CHEMO=DRAINO!!!!

I also decided to wear a bow tie to my nephew’s ‘FIRST STEP TOWARD GOING TO HEAVEN’ ceremony, AKA First Communion.

Now it was a struggle to learn how to tie one BUT with the help of this video and spending the majority of my lunch practicing, I showed that bow tie who was boss! ME DANG NABBIT!!!!

That's all I got for ya this month have a good one and BY THE WAY, if it’s on the internet then it’s GOT to be true, right!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

***** I want to apologize if you saw some GLARING misspellings or grammatical errors but my USUALLY RELIABLE, proofreader

was apparently too busy teaching new mothers how to breast feed their child until he/she is 6 years old to proofread my blog. So I am sorry!!!!!! 

SPRING!!!

   Can you smell it???? NO, not the chicken manure I just spread on my lawn, SPRING is in the air!! I don’t know about you but it’s pretty much been spring since January. To all my ‘Glenn Beck/ Rush Limbaugh apostles’: WE AS HUMANS HAVE/ARE MESSING WITH THE ENVIRONMENT!!! Sad but true, you don’t have to be a granola eatin’ hippy or an average over-weight guy in a bowling league to notice that… ANYWAYS!!!!! SPRING TIME= LAWN TIME and my constant pursuit to receive the coveted ‘LANCASTER YARD OF THE MONTH’ award! They put a sign in your yard and everything…… BIG DEAL I TELL YA!!! First up are the cedar borders around the trees in the front. I got these from my parent’s wild ‘n’ whacky ex neighbor! As you can see, after 6 years they have run their course….

 I removed and contributed them to the BONFIRE GOD who was very happy to take them and use them as fuel to make it’s flames HIGHER! KIDS love big fires, HECK as long as it’s not my house, I am 39 and I love them too!! My brother and his family along with my cousin FARTIN’ MARTIN AKA Marty came over and we had a huge fire while chit chatting about some of our FUNNY family!

 OH AND! See that Miller Lite cooler that Jack is sitting on? It talks!!!! It was talking to Marty and me all night… It would say, “GUYS, looks like your beer is empty, I think you should open me up and get another one.” Who are WE to disagree with a freakin’ talking cooler?!?!?!?! Getting back to the cedar borders,  when it’s all said and done, I will replace them with some stone ones. Preferably ones that Home Depot or Walmart slash the price by 75% on in the fall when they want to get rid of the crap…. Towards the end of the night it needed some more wood and being I was in NO shape to get up and get some, My brother did and (NOT SAYING ANYONE‘S NAME) a piece of old rail road tie found its way on the fire…. FYI. R.R ties= asbestos….  NEVER burn wood ‘treated’ to lengthen its life… You are inhaling some nasty chemicals. So listen to these guys and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T BURN IT!!!

 In other news in the Lancaster metro area, I have a WIN/WIN/WIN situation (AHH HELL) it’s a WINNING ‘infinity’ situation!!!!!!! One of my neighbors has a DEAD cedar tree. I asked him if I could cut it down. He said H to the E to the double L YEAH!!! No he didn’t really say that but he did say I could….. THIS was a great opportunity for me to use Bjorn/ Marvella AND the SWEET Carhartt work clothes that MESE gave me because she doesn’t fit in them anymore! SKINNY AND AN EVER BETTER GODDESS! I TELL YA!!!!! WORK IT MESE!!!!

  PLUS! I can use the wood to make another bonfire! Big fire+ huge yard+ a ton of Legos I had when I was a kid= my nephews thinking that their uncle Andy is REALLY COOL!!!! Go ahead and call me a redneck or whatever you want, I DON’T care but, I have almost everything needed to GET ‘ER DONE! I even have a wagon for Bjorn!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! 

Wanna see my 'SERENITY NOW' moment?  

I come home from my job (which I have had for 10+ years) and throw on some work clothes, knee pads, work gloves, my iTouch with 1700+ songs, a bag of sunflower seeds and pick rocks in my back yard. YES I said PICK ROCKS!!!! I then dump them where I keep Bjorn. I planted some grass around there so it looks PURTY!!!!

What else?? Oh I turned 39 a few days ago and to celebrate it I went to the local VFW hall and PARTIED with some guys who were in the 'invasion of Panama' and their wives. MAN!!! Those guys sure can PARTY!!! HA!!!!! But what I REALLY did to celebrate my 39th birthday was grease up all the joints on Bjorn (my lawn mower), got Marvella (my chain saw) ready to cut a tree down, started changing the oil in the truck, loaded up some old metal to take to the scrap yard to be unloaded by some guys I have NO IDEA what are saying (they speak Spanish) for some $ so I can spend it at one of the greatest stores in our 236 years of existence, BIG LOTS and drank some good beer, NEWCASTLE!!!!
 That's all I got for ya this month, keep it real and remember, if ya put it on DA BOOK (F/B) don’t be SHOCKED and whine if I or someone else replies to it with something smart @$$ed…… DA BOOK= FAIR GAME!

It's that time of the year again where YOU can ask me anything and I will answer it. Now it might be very honest but it ALSO might be answered like MITT ROMNEY, very vague and leaving you with a HUGE headache!!! I'll answer them as they come in. If it is like last year, I'll get a WHOOPIN' 3 questions to answer!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! I'll be one busy @$$ man!!!!!!!! OH before I go and let YOU type a question about my feeling on the premise of the cold fusion engine (Let me help you with saying that my reply will be WHAT?????) my best friends mom Mrs. Boike, yes that her real name, gave me a container of a little slice of Heaven! CHOCOLATE CHIPS!

 Oh and not just any container, but word on the street is that the same folks that designed this also made this container!!!! It has a button you press to SEAL the goodies so every time you have some it's like a party in your mouth!!! GOD BLESS TECHNOLOGY and the U.S.A

Anonymous said...
From your nephews:

1. Is his favorite color green? I'm more of a blue guy BUT I'm cool with any color you throw at me.
2. How OLD is he? Physically I'll be 38 on 4/27 but mentally (most people will agree) I'm 12....
3. What does he do for a job? I work for a bank in the loss mitigation dept, I TRY to help people keep their home from being foreclosed.
4. Is he getting married YET? Your uncle Andy has YET to find a woman that will put up with me..... I've learned to never say never (HEY! Wasn't that a James Bond movie?)

Anonymous asks...

When did you first start referring to your mother as Catholic Kate? And was this due to one certain event or just the fact that she is intact Catholic and her name is Kate?
First off, THANKS for submitting a question because the only one before yours was submitted by my sister in law who I’m thinking felt bad for me and didn’t want to be associated with a LOSER!!!! OKIE DOKIE, now to answer your question, It wasn’t just one event that caused me to call her that. I just remember my brother’s friends calling her that because she was kinda ‘hardcore’ when it came to the Catholic faith. My brother will attest to this as well, when we were younger, it wasn’t uncommon for us to have to go to mass for holy days. Since, she has become more ‘liberal’ in her beliefs but once in a while she will say something that will make ya say “WOW MOM! That’s HARDCORE Catholicism right there!” HA!!!!! I just like saying it because it gets a laugh out of people that know her and my sense of humor…

Anonymous asks... (WOW!!! This 'annonymous' person sure does ask a lot of question.)

You frequently point out how "rad" you are due to all of the cool music you listened to as a kid. What is your take on the Beastie Boys? How do you feel now about ratting out a younger cousin for listening to the Boys? The Beastie boys RUUUUUUULE!!!! Those three Jewish white kids ROCK!! Looking at my iTouch, I have songs from the majority of albums they have made….. I’m pretty sure that I wore out my cassette tape of License to Ill….. As for ‘ratting’ out a younger cousin, I would NEVER ‘judge’ you on your musical tastes, KRIPES! I know for a fact that one of my cousin’s who I stay with when I am up in B-TOWN(Bolivar, NY) listens and LOVES anything that Milli Vanilli made! BLAME IT ON THE RAIN BEEEEEEEEEOTCHES!!!!!

Kelly asks...

1. What would you rather pretend had never happened, Garth Brook's "Chris Gaines" thing, or Van Halen's Gary Cherrone experiment? I was more affected by the Van Halen/ Gary Cherrone experiment. After reading Sammy Hagar’s book, which I highly recommend, Eddie Van Halen is a douche! The whole ‘experiment’ is the back bone of my Ed Van Halen/ Dukes of Hazard theory. Eddie, like the producers of the DofH, thought that people would accept anything they did because, in Ed’s case, it was all about the guitar. Much like the producers of the DofH thought that they could put anybody in the General Lee because it was all about the car. They learned the hard way that is not always the case. The downward spiral of Van Halen began when the press release came out stating that Gary was the new singer and the downward spiral for the DofH show was when Coy and Vance replaced Bo and Luke….. NOW PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I think Gary is a very cool guy and Extreme was a great band BUT he wasn’t right for Van Halen. With Garth, I can see where he was coming from “I have done EVERYTHING there is to do in country music and I think it’s time for a change.” PLUS he had all the money to fund his ‘Chris Gaines experiment’. Sure it failed miserably BUT I don’t think it left Garth scarred for life. He just said to himself “That went over like a fart in church so I will suck in my pride and go back to being good ol’ Garth.”

2. You want to do some drinking, but the nearest beer is 800 miles away and there's a liquor store (no beer) next door. What are you drinking? Beer is GREAT but sometimes a change is good. I would not think twice of getting some rum or wine from the liquor store…. Sometimes you have to be like the Marines and ADAPT, IMPROVISE and OVERCOME situations……

3. Aren't overalls the most comfortable pants EVER?! You are correct Obi-Won, OVERALLS are VERY comfortable and I love getting the 2nd glances from people. They will look at me and say hi and do a double look and say to themselves “HOLY COW! That guy is wearing overalls!” GREAT STUFF!!!!

Boike asks...

1. We all know you have a problem with cheep wine from the mad dog chugging post, but refuse any type of intervention due to how funny that hooch makes you. We are however concerned with your overuse of Ivy in your land space. Do you think you may have an ivy addiction? If we provide a gallon of round up(generic of course) for FREE(yes, how can you, Andy McBride turn down free) would you kill all the IVY on your property?' That would be a flat out NO! Ivy is great on 3 levels.... It's EASY to plant, KRIPES!!!! Just put it in a place that gets sun and PRESTO! It grows!!! It's CHEAP!!! Gotta save $ so I don't have to eat dog food when I get older because I can't afford 'people food'. It covers up places where it's hard to make grass grow and/or erodes every time it rains. That right there is a WIN/WIN SITUATION BUDDY!!!!!!  As for addictions, we ALL have one(cedar trees) BUT it's NOT another person's responsibility to 'JUDGE' others...

2. Who is your favorite Sci-fi character of all time? If it is not Buck Rogers please let me know why. First off, HOW DARE YOU!!!! That was a RIP OFF of the Star Wars movies... The ONLY quality of that show was WILMA and her silk jump suits!!! OW LA LA SASSON!!! UMMMM, where was I??? OH YEAH! My favorite sci-fi character is this guy because he had the 'testicle fortitude' to call out Darth!!!! Now sure, he almost died BUT STILL!?!?!?!? HA KIDDING!!! I really don't have one FAVORITE character.  

3. What major decision have you made in the past 10 years that altered the course of your life? Sorry! This happened 11+ years ago but, I would say it was the decision to move back from my little time in Wisconsin. I learned so much about myself.

• It taught me that being close to friends and family are important to me.   
• Not having $ BLOWS and having some 'security' with some in the bank is nice.
• Being 'content' in my life is good. All I need is the simple thing in life to have the 'life is good' mood. 
• Having someone in your life is good BUT it's not a necessity to me.... 

Blake asks:

1. You love your ivy. Personally, I HATE ground cover in all its forms except good ol' grass. Do you feel that people who use/overuse ground cover are simply too lazy to get out and do some real work in their yard? Again, I will say to you the same that I told Boike, HOW DARE YOU!!!!! I agree to a point that Ivy CAN BE considered LAZY BUT I am live by the motto “work smart, NOT hard” It helps out tremendously covering up parts of your lawn that NO MATTER what you do, won’t grow grass. It helps make people think when they see your yard, “That’s a ‘classy’ looking yard and the ivy, while isn’t my favorite plant, was utilized properly” No need to make people think that Sanford and Son worked on my yard.

2. I hear some kids argue that Stone Cold Steve Austin or Cena are the greatest-ever stars of the WWF/WWE. I maintain that Hulk Hogan, despite his cheeseball/douchebag personna of the mid-late 2000s, is the standard bearer for all that is great about pro wrestling. Where do you fall on the "greatest of our lifetimes" argument? DANG KIDS TODAY!!!!! Bunch of PUNKS!!!! HA!!!!! I personally think that we lived in the GREATEST era of wrestling, whether it is the WWF, AWA or NWA. Guys today can’t hold any of the wrestlers we grew up with JOCK!!!! SAD BUT TRUE!!!! The stuff those guys did all in the name of entertainment will NEVER be topped! COME ON!! Just look at the old interviews or matches on Youtube. (SIDE NOTE) I always wondered how many takes they had to shoot just for one interview. The stuff they would say would cause ANY person to bust out laughing.) I agree with your “cheeseball/douchebag persona” that Hogan has now BUT for nearly 25+ years he was the BADDEST MOFO!!!! GOOD GOD I didn’t even blink when it was Wrestle Mania time and we had to buy the pay-per-view. It was a MUST!

3. Can you think of any reasons why P!nk's "Raise Your Glass" is not the greatest pop/rock song by a female artist in the past 10 years? Not gonna lie to ya Mr. Tenore but I don’t think I have heard the song, I KNOW! No I am NOT ol’ fart but I prefer older stuff like!!!!! WITH THAT SAID, I’m sure I will like it and ‘download’ it for my iTouch tonight. Kripes! I did the same when a friend introduced me to Butch Walker, CHECK HIM OUT! He is now on the ‘Andy iTouch’. When this all happens, I will give you my review of Ms. Pink’s song…. OKIE DOKIE!?!?!?!?

So the journey begins in 1987... I was a MEASLY little 7th grader and Mike, my older brother was in 11th. Much to my mom's 'disappointment', he started hanging out with Dave. You see, Mom taught CCD (Religion) and Dave was, to put it lightly, 'disruptive'... I remember her coming home and talking about this kid named Dave who was a HELLION! Where was I?? OH YEAH!!! So my brother starting hanging out with Dave and other older kids like Todd Hopkins and they started to allow me to hang out with them. 

I think it was a ‘let’s try to corrupt Mike’s little brother to really RILE UP Mrs. McBride' who they affectionately called ‘Catholic Kate’!!! HA!!! I still use that name, just check out older posts in my blog and it’s plastered all over it when I talk about my mom. Hanging out with the OLDER KIDS was great!!! I was a COOL kid because I HUNG OUT WITH OLDER, COOL ONES!!!! He and the others taught me the finer things in life: like how to tap a keg, how to properly pour a beer without a ton of foam using the grease from your nose to reduce the foam if it had a lot of it. My musical horizons were broadened too!! I can’t tell you how much I listened to Van Halen’s 5150 and OU812 (I made sure to put those in his casket. While crying my eyes out and accidentally blowing snot on his mom, I asked and she said OF COURSE.) WHERE WAS I? They ALWAYS had new music and would let me listen to it so I could soak it in KRIPES! How many of you out there know that a band called Hurricane was the opening act for Stryper because they were on the same label???? I know that stuff because of DAVE!!!!! I was like a sponge and absorbed everything he said and did!!! They ALWAYS asked if I wanted to go see bands up in Buffalo on A BUS THEY RENTED!! Let me say that again, AN EFFing BUS they rented!!!!!!! They took me to an all day festival up at the University of Buffalo and I saw Living Colour before anyone ever heard of them and I got to see the Ramones!!!! How cool is that?! Again, I want to remind you that I was only in 7th-8th grade when all this was going on…. How great of a story it is that I, Andy McBride, can tell people that I was a passenger on a bus they rented to go see the MONSTERS OF ROCK (Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken, Metallica and Kingdom Come) TOUR at Rich Stadium!?!?!?!?!?!? Oh and FYI, that would go over like a fart in church these days!!! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! And let’s NOT FORGET about, dare I say, the BEST party EVER on 10-23-87! You remember stuff like births, weddings, touching a bare breast for the first time AND DAVE’S PARTY!!!! MY GOD! So many memories!!!! Dustin (RIP) taking my friend Mark Singer and Billy Miller around and looking for ‘skully’!!!!! Getting so drunk that Dustin and Dan Brill had to get us and sober us up so we could make it home…. When I moved to Charlotte in the summer of 88, I was scared out of my mind BUT I adjusted well thanks to the lessons that Dave taught me. KRIPES!!!! I was an EFFING GOD because I listened to cool music that Dave listened to and I knew what was needed to throw a sweet KEGGER!!!! ALL BECAUSE of what Dave and co. taught me!!!!! Not only do I have fond memories of him but of his family too. I remember his step dad NuNu (his nickname) watching the end of a Bills game in 1987 where they were losing a close game and saying “Boys, this team is going places! They are so good and when they learn how to win games it’s going to be great.”

4 straight Super Bowls later HE WAS RIGHT. Also he said something that has ALWAYS stuck with me. He said, ‘Guys, do you know when the honeymoon is over?? It’s when you and your new bride are in the bathroom together and ya see her on the toilet and say WHAT ARE YOU DOING and she says I’m taking a $#!t. That’s when you know the honeymoon is over!!!” HA!!!!! I’m sorry but I STILL laugh every time I say/write that. His mom called me Eddie Van Halen because I kinda looked like him and I had a SWEET mullet (party in the back and business in the front)!

I know there are TONS of other memories that I am forgetting about and a few that the ‘statute of limitations’ STILL apply to plus NO ONE has proofread this so there might be some misspelled words and grammatical errors BUT I just started typing what came to my mind!!! I’m gonna miss BUCKO!!!!! Feb 2, 2012.

THAT'S WHAT I WROTE WHEN I LEARNED THAT DAVE WENT TO THE BIG VAN HALEN CONCERT IN THE SKY... I went up to his funeral because it was the RIGHT thing to do. I saw some people that I haven't seen in 20+ years, the majority of people it was GREAT to see and catch up with, others (WELL just one person) I have no problem NEVER seeing AGAIN and this is what I and the majority of others think of them... ANYWAYS, it was very bittersweet because I saw some old friends BUT we all were there because we all lost one of our own.
As you can tell, I haven't done much to the house. SURE I did a few things, BUT I will talk about them WHEN the time is right. Besides heading up to NY I also went back up to VA. to the Boike/Mese farm because I had such a good time up there last month. LOOK what I got!!!

It's a skeleton head of a bull!!!! This thing will look SWEET in my garage!!!!!
Oh and HEY do yourself a favor and go to the Air and Space Museum in DC. It is LIKE TOTALLY RAD!!!!! LIKE OMG!!!!!

In other news, Not to make people think that I said “SCREW TECHNOLOGY” and moved to a cabin with no electricity in Montana, I gave up F/B for Lent….. It’s like when I gave up crystal meth, the first few days were hard BUT after awhile you adapt to NOT checking F/B to see if anyone commented on your status, or you feel the need to leave a humorous/smart @$$ comment on someone’s page that will cause them and others reading it to get riled up. I have found that F/B is GREAT for testing my comic material, NOT that I am a comic, BUT it’s been good to temporarily not to be on there.

That’s all I got for ya this month and remember that CRACK IS WHACK!!!!!!

DON'T BE STUPID! 

Did I get your attention? This is a PSA for the 3 people that read this: my mom, Mandy and Blake.

If you:

• Own a house.
• Your appraised value is more than what you owe (use this site to get a 'ballpark' figure)
• You have a decent FICA score (AGAIN use this site to get a 'ballpark' figure)

YOU ARE A STUPID person if you don't refinance your house!!! Yeah I called ya stupid!!!!! Y'all rates for a 30 year mortgage are at 3.9%!!!!!! 3.9%!!!!! AND don't get me started about a rate on a 15 year loan, I might take all of my clothes off and run up and down my street because I get sooooooo excited!!!! Go ahead and ask your parents what their interest rate was when they bought the house you grew up in. I know Big Ron and Catholic Kate's interest rate for the house in A-TOWN (Allegany, NY) was 8.5% and they thought that was a bargain!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I know the 3 of you reading this are DYING to know, I refinanced to a 3.375%/15 year!!!! CRAZY! WE WILL NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN FOLKS! OH AND don't assume that I got that because I work for a mortgage company and I get a discount. I refinanced with ANOTHER company so QUIT ASSUMING!!!! GEEZ!!!! Didn't your parents teach you NOT to assume!?!?!?!?!? AND! I might sound like Bob McBride, my grandpa, when I say this:

K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid) Don't do one of those CRAZY @$$ loans like an arm or an 'interest only' or a FREAKIN' balloon loan!!! 30 or 15 year/ FIXED RATE mortgage!! ARM = GAMBLING and TRUST ME!!! 9 out of 10 times YOU WILL LOSE!!!!!! Don't let the 'DOOM AND GLOOM' news tell you that it's ALL BAD especially in L-TOWN! It's NOT!!!! GOOD GOD!?!?! Where do they find these 'people' for their articles anyway??? As for y'all in places of the country where the housing market is, well, NOT so good. Hang in there and as that CRAPPY band Journey would say "Don't stop believing"..... Sure things aren't good now BUT it will get better because 'we have been there, done that, got the t-shirt' before.

  In my tiling 'fetish', I used the tile that my aunt AND God mother Nancy and my uncle Bill gave me in the closet and ripped out the carpet in there and tiled the floor. It's AMERICAN OLEAN TILE and growing up I totally remember living pretty close to the factory.

Oh and FYI, just because I feel pretty sure about myself and my tiling skills DOESN'T mean I want to help ya do one of your rooms!! You see, if I screw up something it's MY house and I can take my time and correct the situation! With yours, I would feel terrible and upset if something went wrong and had to be corrected so I choose just to do stuff to casa de McBride...
  I took a break for my routine of getting up, working out, going to my job, tiling something, scanning ALL of Mary Cawley's pictures then bed and went up to Virginia and spent a weekend with Boike and his (HOT AS FIRE) wife Mese at their farm. Time consisted of drinking beer, 

them showing me the site of their future house that will be constructed when Rio hosts the summer Olympics in 2016, discussing the finer points of the Dukes of Hazard and Knight Rider, SKANKS we knew in the past, worked on some fencing, 

picked some rocks that I will use for a future project and getting some TILE,YES I SAID TILE at an estate sale, THREE BOXES for $1!!!!! WOO HOO!!!  Let me delve into this a little more OKIE DOKIE? One day we were coming home from getting some, YUMMY IN MY TUMMY, breakfast at The Frost Diner and we saw a 'garage sale' sign. We dropped off Mese and then went back to check it out. First off, it wasn't a garage sale but a 'whatever you see in the house can be yours for the right price'. PEOPLE!?!?!? Have you ever seen 'Hoarders'???  This place was 100 times worse than anything on that show! There were paths to walk because there was so much stuff! It was NASTY too! Like animal CRAP and that musty smell like the same spell ya get when .................. Well I won't finish that sentence because my mom reads this but you get the idea. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT WAS NASTY! So much so I had to take a shower after we walked threw it. Where was I??? OH YEAH, so Boike nudges me and points at a painting, I said (in a very immature and Beavis and Butthead way) "HA!! That's a naked chick!" The old guy that was walking through all the junk said "that's an old Playboy model from the 60's that my buddy painted for me." It was a WIN/WIN situation because it kinda looked like a girl I know and it would look SWEET in my kitchen!!! BUT! It was all moldy and had some water damage! SON OF A! So I settled for the boxes of tile.... Oh did I mention that we drank some beer (NOT JUST ANY BEER but Consumer Reports best beer of 2011) BIG FLATS BEER!!!! Or as my friend Dustin would call it, BIG TATAS beer!!!! Now it has received some, not so glorifying reviews, BUT so does PBR and that stuff is the NECTAR OF THE GODS!!!!

AND then Mese went into detail about HOW HOT SHE IS and how simpletons like Boike and I should bow to her!!! 

RIP DAVE!!!!!!

That's all I got for ya this month! See you next month at the same BAT-time, same BAT-channel and remember to STAY THIRSTY MY FRIENDS!!!

 



Here's hoping that you had a groovy Christmas and New Years!

I'm STILL a bit tired from my 36 hour world wind tour that took me 12 hours up to NY and then back to SC BUT I'll suck it up for you BECAUSE frankly, THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!!!! So I know you will ask me being that I sparked your curiosity with the last sentence. I have been planning for a year to head up to Casa de Singer in A-TOWN (Allegany) New York and spend Christmas Eve with Gary and Barb Singer. I only told their two sons so it was a surprise to Gary and Barb to see me.

 

It's the simple things FOLKS!!! Drinking beer with an old friend in their garage is what it's ALL about!!! This right here makes 12 hours in a car WORTH IT!!!!! As you read along, you will know it was kind of an emotional trip for me. I also hung out for a while with Lynda and Steve Kockler. Mom and Lynda have been friends FOREVER as this pictorial proof will show.

This was my mom's bridal shower in 1969.  Their son Jimmy and his family were there too. He graduated with my brother and works at the Pentagon. Doing what you ask? Well he could tell ya BUT he would then have to kill ya. So it's best if you don't ask... ANYWAYS!!!! I think that was the first time I have seen him in 18 years!!! GOOD GOD!!!!

I also made Steve a little thing to show how much I appreciate him and all the stuff he and Lynda have done for me over the years.

It's a night light consisting of an LED light and an old glass insulator from the telephone poles that ran along the R.R. Sure it might be GEEKY but it's something I know he would like. He loves TRAIN'S as much as I do.. That's not the ONLY arts and crafts going on at casa de McBride! I made a few cluster pictures consisting of old hockey, baseball and football cards...

$10 dollar frames at Big Lots!!!! WOO HOO!!! Oh and if you were wondering, the manager John knows who I am and greets me every time I am in there!!!!!! Saving $ and GREAT customer service! What more can I ask for!?!?!?!?

Christmas day I went to my aunt and uncle's house where she proceeded to give me a check for $300!!! All of the other cousin's got that too RIGHT!?!?!?! HA!!!!! But seriously, SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME THAT but she did make my uncle Bill give me a bunch of stuff that was CLUTTERING up the basement, like this SWEET @$$ PBR poster

and a bunch of tile that they didn't use when they expanded their house..... American-Olean Tile!!!! ONLY THE BEST FOR A SNOB like me!!!

I would show you that I used it for my closet floor BUT I ran out of tile mortar and I couldn't get anymore because Home Depot closed early!! WHAT THE!!! They act like it was New Years Eve or something! Oh it was, NEVER MIND!!! So the unveiling will have to wait until next month's entry.  Where was I? Oh yeah, I then went to my aunt's house that was my grandpa and grandma Cawley's house. It was the first time I had been in that house since Grandpa passed away in 2003.I practically grew up in that house!!!

This was Mike (my brother) and I in 1975.I got some KICKIN' heart burn from some YUMMY IN MY TUMMY chicken wing dip that my cousin's girlfriend Susie made!!! But that's why they make TUMS!!!!! Besides the BITCHIN' heartburn, the trip was WELL worth it and I would do it again because it made a lot of people very happy and that, my friends, MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT!!!

Remember 2011 is now 2012 or as I would like to say, same $#!+, different toilet! Have a good one and talk to ya next month.....