Tuesday, February 01, 2011

THIS IS WHY THE SOUTH RULES!!!!!


I even added music to my little slide show!!! Pretty sweet huh!!! AHHHHHHH Good ol' Johnny Mathis! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reminds me of Bob & Mary Cawley's house back in the day!

 I sure hope I don't get sued for copyright infringements. Johnny, Columbia Records or the RIAA. SWEET MOTHER OF BABY JESUS have mercy on me....

Just throw on my CARHARTT full body suit

and go for a walk and take pictures. It's great! You see, local and state governments will NEVER be prepared for this down here because it happens so rarely. They only include the minimal salt and snow removal in their annual budgets, but if they all need to go on a retreat to Palm Springs WELL they write that in! PORK!!!! YA GOTTA LOVE IT! Anyways, It's cheaper just to close everything because it will all be gone in a day or two...... But this dang 'SNOW STORM 2011' is really cramping my style man! As I type this, it's 31 degrees!!!! So all the snow a has a nice layer of ice on it! SON OF A!!! I just spent the last two hours making paths to get to my truck and car and preparing to go back to work in the next few days.


And in other news, remember this "Well they are clearing the land back there for some houses and the old guy that was clearing it stopped by and had a chat with me... He said that there is a reason that he has a no trespassing sign up. I think I got the point and immediately halted all operations on the
expressway."? Well this happened and I am hoping this wasn't the same guy that STERNLY told me to halt on further construction on the 'McBride expressway'
Also, I was freakin' TAGGED while slowing down for a red light....... Everyone is all right BUT I'm 'fired up' because I have to rearrange things! I HATE when my routine is jacked up!


Well the 'insurance adjuster' came out and checked it all out and called it a TOTAL, I guess the kicker was it having over 157k on it! HA!!!! No biggy, I'll just put the check they will give me in the 'new car' fund I have and keep on driving this baby until I have enough to buy a new Civic. I KNOW this will cause a lot of people out there reading this to think I am a FULL BLOWN RED NECK, too late huh?, but I just bought a couple new bulbs for my brake light and turn signal to work, a roll of red tail light tape.
AND WAA-LAA!! I'm good to go!! Sure I can't open the trunk and the back is ALL COSMETICALLY 'MESS UP' but it still gets me to point 'A' back to point 'B' and back to point 'A' with no problem!


My nephew Jack was very upset by this, He does NOT like things to be out of place. He was saying 'OH NO UNCLE ANDY, Your car needs to be fixed!"



ALSO! Mese was ABSOLUTELY horrified that I was using this to treat my shoes that she picked out for me, so LOOKY what I got from her for Christmas???


Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I ABSOLUTELY DID NOTHING TO THE HOUSE AND FREAKIN' HIBERNATED (as I did last month) for the winter.
Talk to ya later and remember, No matter WHO ya are, chances are pretty good that your poopy smells just like all the rest of ours!

Thursday, January 06, 2011

GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!!!! This dang hand WON'T freakin' heal!!!! I SOOOOOOO HATE GETTIN' OLD!!! It's hampering my style man! I can do simple things like type and stuff BUT if I try to extend my arm in a certain way, IT'S PAIN!! Not just any old pain but the kind that makes ya stop what you are doing, grab your hand, try to breath again, grimace and TRY not to curse! I grabbed some broken up concrete and made my dams in my front ditch bigger.



While doing this I RE-aggravated my hand BUT it was worth it because it was free!!!!! I LUUUUUUUUUV that price!!!!! I'm suspecting that someone just dumped them there because you HAVE to pay the county landfill to dump them. So being that we kinda live out in the middle of NO WHERE, they just dumped it. I have NOOOOOOOO problem with this because I can take most of it and make use of it. KRIPES! Plant some ivy and it will cover it in no time and no one will know if it's rocks I paid for or some broken up concrete I got for free!!! WIN/ WIN BABY!!!!!
As for Christmas Santa (Mom and Dad) got me a SWEET old rotary phone for my kitchen, I won't delve too much in the details but IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!

Oh and in case you where wondering if you can you still use a rotary phone? I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAVE YOU A LINK!!!!!! Just call me Bill Gates!!!!! This is not on the scale of an SMU booster BUT I got a picture of Kidd Brewer Stadium where my alma mater ASU (Appalachian State University) plays football.


I also got a few gift cards to one of the GREATEST STORE IN THE HISTORY OF Capitalism!!! BIG LOTS!!!!!! Not only do I have enough to buy my cleaning supplies for a freakin' year, I bought some new handles for my dresser and the spare bathroom.

  
 I gotta make this quick so pardon the RUSH, GREAT BAND! I'm down here in a Lake Placid, FL for my cousin's little girl's Baptism
and I'm in the Retirement Community Club House (It's the only place that has the World Wide Web) finishing this up and my time is very limited because a bunch of old ladies are not happy because I'm interrupting their exercise and 'Community organization' meeting.........
  1. Took a train down to FL. and it wasn't that bad..... As a single guy, I think I will take it again.  
  2. Relaxed at Heaven's waiting room, I MEAN, a retirement community where my aunt and uncle live for 6 months out of the year.
Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I ABSOLUTELY DID NOTHING TO THE HOUSE AND FREAKIN' HIBERNATED for the winter.
Talk to ya later and remember, IMAGE IS EVERYTHING!

Wednesday, December 01, 2010


 Sorry y'all but I haven't done too much to casa de McBride this month due to having been stricken with S.A.R.S/swine flu/malaria with a little touch of scurvy... Which in turn, caused me NOT to stretch and work out every morning. The result- a pulled muscle in my back AND tearing a tendon in my hand trying to overcompensate for NOT being able move around. Plus being told by a fine young lady up in WI. that WYLIE,


 a pupper that I thought more of then most people on this Earth, is now playing in the big playground up in the sky. So there won't be any pictures of the stuff I have done to the house. So if you're just in it for the pictures, well come back next month because I feel like typing some stuff that I have NEVER said nor will I mention again. I usually have to be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, drunk to talk about WI. but I'll make an exception to the rule on this one. YOU ARE SO LUCKY!  I figure that with her gone, a chapter in my life is now closed. Plus I want to type it so I can remember it when I'm in the nursing home. FIRST OFF! It was OUR decision to move up there. I just quit a job that SUCKED, I only lasted there 6 months before I had enough. I think we needed a 'change' and moving someplace would help achieve that. She was from West Bend, WI and, again WE, decided to move up there. So with the help of her brother Dan and their dad, we packed up a U haul and away we went. I was well established in Charlotte and it was vise verse up there. The dynamics changed because she was born and raised there and had a circle of friends and a core family. I remember that it was a very hard place to get a job because, let's face it, WI. is not the most GROWING economy in the USA. With in a month of us moving up there I landed a job I KNOW I was over qualified for but hey! It was a freakin' job. It was a 2nd shift job in a print company. HA!!!!! I sooooooo remember going to the bathroom and taking a nice long nap in one of the stalls because I was so bored..... SLEEPING on the MAN'S WATCH!!!! I also helped out her dad on a few of his jobs, he was a contractor and he taught me some cool stuff that I STILL utilize today. She worked at Chilis in Milwaukee for a little bit but eventually worked for her mom at a mail/shipping place. It was a very cool set up for her because her boss was her mom and it was a very friendly and a family atmosphere. Her brother worked there too and he had a SWEET German Sheppard, Greta and Mary had Wylie. They were part of the Mail Drop. Customers loved seeing, petting and giving treats to them..... We lived with her dad, Peachy, in his HUGE house, It had its challenges but in all everyone was happy. He lived in one end and we lived in the other. It was cool because I loved the small town atmosphere and I felt that we all looked out for each others best interests. She did her best to try to make things work between us but I think we both saw that the end of us was near... She and I only lasted like 6 months while we were up there. I think it all can be summed up with the help of Bob Dylan and the last verse of 'Tangled Up In Blue' "We always did feel the same, We just saw it from a different point of view." I moved out into my own apartment and was BOUND and DETERMINED to make a go of it MYSELF for at least a year so I could say to people "I DID IT!" My apartment consisted of stuff that people gave me which was pretty cool and, needless to say, it was bare minimum. KRIPES! I think my bed consisted of a mattress on the floor. I felt pretty alone and realized when I pulled into my Grandparent's drive way in Mansfield, OH that my closest relatives were 450 miles away from me! That's far!!! I ALWAYS dreaded going back to WI. when I was seeing family in OH. or NY. I HATED I-90 west because it meant I was going back to WI.. I made some GREAT friends up there including the Haver clan


 both Andy and his brother Scott made life easier on me by having me over for dinner and family parties. I will always remember watching the 2000 election with Scott not knowing WHO WON and drinking coffee the whole time and ANDY/Deanna and their kids were saints to me!!!! BUT I knew I had to go back under the Mason-Dixon line. I kinda just hung around but I'm pretty sure that I had a nervous break down while watching the Bills and Vikings game. Don't ask me why then, maybe a Doug Flutie sack triggered it. I just fell apart mentally and my boss and friend told me to go see a Dr. because he and others were worried about me because I just wasn't the 'happy go lucky' guy I was usually. SURE enough the Dr. said I was depressed and prescribed Paxil and some sessions with a counselor. FUN STUFF let me tell ya. I remember being so pissed that I had to take an effing drug to be 'normal'. Then and now, I still think just talking to someone was more effective then the DAMN anti-depressant I was on. The whole time I was thinking about my 'exit strategy' so I could get back home. Andy H. was gracious enough to give me a job at his machine shop so we thought it would be cool to tear apart my 65 Mustang and redo it right (when you're a teenager, ya tend to do stupid stuff to cars) because we had the tools to do it. WOO HOO!!!


 We were in the middle of that when I decided it was time, having my brother and sister-in-law say that I can have her slightly used boat helped make my decision even easier.


 Plus I will never forget my Grandpa Cawley, after I told him I was thinking about moving back, saying "Andy I really think you should do it, It would ease your mom and her sisters minds to know you were back in a happy place in your life."


 So we hastily put the Mustang back together just enough for me to put it on a trailer that I could tow with my good old truck, said good bye to a few people, tried not to cry like a baby and on Sept. 9th, 2001 I pulled into Charlotte. I was going to unpack that day and the 10th with the intention of looking for a job on the 11th. Well we all know that EVERYTHING changed that day. ANYWAYS, A few months later I got a great job at Wells Fargo and that's where I have been ever since. My Mustang is still in the same condition it was when we put it back together so I could haul it back to Charlotte.



 I want to clarify that it's SOOOOOOOOOOO easy to look back at a situation and say "I would have done that differently" KRIPES!!! Hind sight's ALWAYS 20/20. It was an experience, a chapter in my life,  I learned some valuable lessons from it that I will ALWAYS uphold:
  1. I will NEVER live with a girl before marriage, You are freakin roommates and there is nothing stopping you from saying "I'm done and outta here." With marriage (the one thing I think it's good for) you both know, "HEY I'm in it till 'death do you part' so WE need to resolve our issues and remember that we are in it for the long haul."
  2. Teepee's are pretty spacious and cozy.
  3. "KRIPES!" and "What the crap?" are pretty funny sayings and I STILL use them to get a chuckle out of people.
  4. I will NEVER live from pay check to pay check. having no money BLOWS! Call me a chick but I love security that comes with knowing I have $ in the bank to cover any emergencies that might come up.
  5. Bluegrass music is some pretty good stuff.
  6. Hey! I'm pretty good at welding aluminum.
 I think in the end we are both very happy in the way our lives are now. Mary has her husband who adores her and two little babies and a great family to support her. I have a life of being a single guy that names his power tools and is happier than a pig in poopy to play out in the yard with the goal of SOMEDAY being awarded the 'Lancaster County Yard of the Month". I view WI.=FAILURE. I'm not bitter, angry or calling anyone the ANTICHRIST, but I might work with them and as far as I know they never lived in Wisconsin. I just don't want to relive it. I know that will upset people I became friends with up there but that's how I feel and I have no desire to ever go back up there to visit. Too many bad things. Call me an 'A' hole but that's how I feel.
So there ya have it, This is MY version of what happened. Others might be different and that's groovy. As for me, You will NEVER hear me talk about this again and if you ask me then I will simply direct you to this and it will tell you all you need to know.

 Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I got 'comfortably numb' on hot chocolate and Baileys while listening to Johnny Mathis Christmas Album. Speaking of Christmas, I hope ya have a merry one especially the people I know that, some might say, are a waste of donerable organs.


and a SWEET New Year

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

MULCH! It's what's for dinner.





NASTY!!! HUH!?!?!?! That stuff's like hot dogs, you don't know what they put in 'em. If you've followed, which I have more and more followers of my bitchin' blog each day, it in the past, you know that I use mulch for my landscaping. The stuff is cheap and I can get a ton of it using my good old truck. HA!!!! It equals out, I help mother earth by using mulch, and emit a ton of carbon in the atmosphere by driving a truck that MIGHT get 5 miles a gallon. WOO HOO!!!!! Big old Detriot V8's! Ya gotta love em'! Getting back on track, I usually go to the county dump and get a load of the stuff BUT this time, it was not the case. I went over there and was informed that they can't give me any because it's 'contaminated'!!! WHAT THE!?!?!? Did they just pull a BP on me!?!? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Plan 'B' was initiated. Being like Magnum P.I. "T.C! Get the chopper ready!" I went to work....
About a year ago I saw that someone was having some property cleared down the road from me. Well they cleared the land and mulched up all the trees and brush. There was just a big old pile sitting there. Now if I was younger

I would have just takin' it without asking! BUT being the mature upstanding citizen I am, I found out through a Realtor who the owner of the property was and I called him. He said that he really appreciated that I called him because people were just going back there and stealing it, BUT he is trying to sell it, GOOD LUCK BUDDY!!!! He told me the price and I almost fainted! No one in their right mind would pay that much $$$$$...... So I know that in your neck of the woods, the economy is not that good BUT in beautiful Lancaster, SC, things are just fine..... As soon as the guy put the land up for sale, It was bought by someone else in about a month. SOOOOOOO I emailed the Realtor again and asked him who the new owners were. He told me and he works right down the street from me. I rode over there and talked to him. GOOD GOD PEOPLE! It was like I asked him for a kidney! He stood there perplexed and finally his son or son in law took down my # and told me would get back to me. That was a few weeks ago and like a one night stand, the call's NOT coming!



WHAT ARE WE AT PLAN 'C' NOW!?!?!?! KRIPES! There is another pile that I pass each day going in and from work. I wrote a simple letter to the guy/gal, whoever owns the house and asked if I could take some of it for my landscaping. Well I sent it and a few days later he called and I am wondering if EVERYONE is smoking 'funny' cigarettes because the guy said he wanted $45!!!! That's just KOOKY talk!!!! HA!!!! So after all of the shenanigans of the last month or so, I called up the freakin' county dump that started this WHOLE odyssey and asked, me-"Is the mulch still contaminated?" nice lady at the dump- 'no darlin' come on over and get a load of it." WOO HOO! All is right with the world!


Hey ya want to see what I 'treat' these with?


WOO HOO!!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! I think pops got this like 20 years ago at one of the first warehouse clubs, I think the name of it was Pace. I have had it ever since so instead of spending $$$ on some leather conditioner I checked online and one of the MANY uses of WD-40 is 'treating' leather products! GIDDY UP!!!!!
$150 pair of Blundstones +
FREE 20 year old WD-40 =
one happy Andy McBride and boots that SHINE!!!


Also, after years of treating it like a rented mule, my good old Sears Craftsman finally kicked the bucket.

Remember before when Frog fixed it, well I think the engine FINALLY just gave up and did it's best Roberto Duran and said "NO MAS!" So I had a day off and decided that would be a great time to invest $100 bucks into filling up my truck and heading up to Charlotte to get a new one.....

SAY HELLO TO BJORN!

It's a Husqvarna and keeping up with my tradition of naming power equipment, I named it in honor of one of the funniest kids I knew.


Bjorn, an exchange student from Sweden who was 'exposed' to the FREE LAND of the USA by my brother and his friends..... They got the poor kid sooooooo plaster at a drive in that he PUKED all over my dad's new Grand Marquis MMMMMMM GOOD TIMES!!!!

So let's recap. There's Marvella

And then Bjorn.





AND FINALLY, marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:
This month marks the first time I went to the county dump and was asked by the attendant "BOY!?! Where are you from cause you talk funny." Maybe because I'm a DAMN YANKEE? Have a great month and try not to write a check your butt can't cash....

Monday, October 04, 2010




WOO HOO!!!!! We just got INDOOR PLUMBING here in Lancaster county!!! Say GOODBYE to OUTHOUSES!
HA!!! Just jerkin' your chain BUT I do have something for ya involving indoor plumbing AND places you use when 'nature calls'.



My 'throne' had a tendency to rock from side to side when UMMMMM 'nature called'. Can't be having that? No matter how much I tightened the side bolts, it STILL swayed SO I had enough of worrying if I was going to fall over while trying to 'concentrate' on other things. I took the toilet off and found that the bracket holding it to the pipe was broken.

I went to Home Depot where you'll be happy to know that the lady with the 19th century chimney sweeper teeth still works, and got the stuff I needed..... I installed it and it works like a CHARM without rocking back and forth. It was all as easy as my prom date! KIDDING! I didn't go to prom but ya get the point.

Staying on the plumbing/water thing, I know that some people think they are a LUXURY to have BUT bath tub/whirlpool's are as crappy as having an 82 Chevrolet Chevette, The pumps on them leak like a freakin' terrorist getting water boarded even when you NEVER use it. I accidentally hit the stupid power button on it while cleaning. It was only on for like one or two seconds so I didn't think anymore about it BUT one morning I went into my closet and a musty smell hit me like a 2 ton heavy thing and the carpet was soaked. After saying a few 'choice' words, I knew where the water came from!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU WHIRLPOOL PUMP! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!! I could have just unplugged the thing, this might be a little overkill, but instead I took the dang thing out, plugged up the pipes to and from the stupid thing and it's resting comfortably at it's new home.. I sure hope nobody wanted it because it's new home is somewhere at the county landfill.



So now there is no more water 'issues' and I have an electrical outlet in my closet, NOT JUST ANY OUTLET, A GFI one!!!! For what? I have no Godly idea BUT I have one just in case.. I took the opportunity to sharpen my woodworking skills and use up some stuff that just laying around the garage.


The whole 'angles thing' took me a few pieces of crown molding to get down but I finally got it! THANK GOD I have a pile of UNUSED, STILL IN THE PLASTIC crown molding to play around with.


I don't have anything else TOO exciting to tell ya. OH WAIT! I did head up to Virginia and celebrate one of my friends' 40th birthday party by busting out my old varsity jacket I haven't worn in 20+ years, Jeff Spicoli checkerboard vans, a 'never wore' STP hat and finally a SWEET Anthrax concert shirt. We soooooooooooooo partied like it was 1989! Like totally RAD!



Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:

Today marks the first day 5 years ago that I chilled out on my HUGE front porch, cracked open an ice cold PBR, lit one of those citronella candles to keep the bugs away, threw on some Van Halen

and proceeded to get comfortably numb.


Saturday, September 04, 2010





IT'S A CELEBRATION!!!!


I say it's a 'celebration, feista, páirtí, fête, zabava, feestje' of gigantic proportions because this month marks the 5 year anniversary ( I bought the house in July of 2005 but didn't move in until Sept. 2005) of yours truly moving into what we all affectionately call 'CASA DE McBRIDE'!!!!! I even have a LOGO marking this MONUMENTAL EVENT!



HA!!!!! Thank God for Picasa...... I just took a picture and did some 'effects' to it so it sorta looked official. Let's take a stroll down memory lane shall we!?!? Join me in me reliving the 'trails and tribulations' I have gone through in the last 5 years of being a homeowner! Actually I am not the owner until 2029! Till then I am Wells Fargo's BEEEEEEEEEOTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!
Wanna see what I will be doing when they mail me the 'note' stamped "PAID IN FULL"

That's right! On the front porch drinkin some PBR and yelling at the neighborhood PUNKS to "GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!"


This is just gonna be a slide show of then and now pictures so sit back with your beverage of choice and get ready to BOOGIE! Oh and you'll pay for the whole seat but only need the edge!!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! MONSTER TRUCK FEST at the Allegany County Fair Grounds!!! HA!!!!!! FYI, make sure you say it in your monster truck voice!!!!





As you can see, the old paint on the Civic is kinda faded BUT it's ok because she has almost 150k on her AND I plan on keeping her and taking the same picture with her in it celebrating 10 years in 'L' TOWN!!! HONDAS RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULE!!!!


I NEVER use this thing AND in my next entry you'll know why but I wanted to take a picture of it because I had one when I first bought the place...

WOW!!!! Those Bradford Pears sure grow a lot!!



Yeah Yeah Yeah, I know that NASTY @$$ floor and counter tops are still there BUT they won't be there for much longer... If I forgot (which I am sure I did, matter of fact, I KNOW I DID) anything just put on your big boy/gal britches and start reading my blog from the beginning..... OH AND ya got to be like my friend Julie or my cousin's wife and start out by saying "I was bored the other night and read your blog."

AND look what I have, the check list from when I first moved in.


I've completed most of the stuff but there is ALWAYS more to do.... That's just the way I roll!!!!!!!



And being this is a year long celebration, I will mark monumental events that have occurred in the last 5 years in each blog entry until 9-2011!!!
TODAY marks the first time I mowed my lawn with a push mower and realized that it took too much energy and time so the next day I bought a ride-on with the ALL IMPORTANT cup holder to hold my adult beverage.


Well that's all I got for ya take care and ALWAYS remember to "NOT disturb your enemy when he/she is making a mistake...."





WALKER!

 The other night, I spent drinking my N/A beer with an old friend. Scott Fasse! We spent most of the night rehashing stories of times and fr...