MULCH! It's what's for dinner.

NASTY!!! HUH!?!?!?! That stuff's like hot dogs, you don't know what they put in 'em. If you've followed, which I have more and more followers of my bitchin' blog each day, it in the past, you know that I use mulch for my landscaping. The stuff is cheap and I can get a ton of it using my good old truck. HA!!!! It equals out, I help mother earth by using mulch, and emit a ton of carbon in the atmosphere by driving a truck that MIGHT get 5 miles a gallon. WOO HOO!!!!! Big old Detriot V8's! Ya gotta love em'! Getting back on track, I usually go to the county dump and get a load of the stuff BUT this time, it was not the case. I went over there and was informed that they can't give me any because it's 'contaminated'!!! WHAT THE!?!?!? Did they just pull a BP on me!?!? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Plan 'B' was initiated. Being like Magnum P.I. "T.C! Get the chopper ready!" I went to work....
About a year ago I saw that someone was having some property cleared down the road from me. Well they cleared the land and mulched up all the trees and brush. There was just a big old pile sitting there. Now if I was younger

I would have just takin' it without asking! BUT being the mature upstanding citizen I am, I found out through a Realtor who the owner of the property was and I called him. He said that he really appreciated that I called him because people were just going back there and stealing it, BUT he is trying to sell it, GOOD LUCK BUDDY!!!! He told me the price and I almost fainted! No one in their right mind would pay that much $$$$$...... So I know that in your neck of the woods, the economy is not that good BUT in beautiful Lancaster, SC, things are just fine..... As soon as the guy put the land up for sale, It was bought by someone else in about a month. SOOOOOOO I emailed the Realtor again and asked him who the new owners were. He told me and he works right down the street from me. I rode over there and talked to him. GOOD GOD PEOPLE! It was like I asked him for a kidney! He stood there perplexed and finally his son or son in law took down my # and told me would get back to me. That was a few weeks ago and like a one night stand, the call's NOT coming!

WHAT ARE WE AT PLAN 'C' NOW!?!?!?! KRIPES! There is another pile that I pass each day going in and from work. I wrote a simple letter to the guy/gal, whoever owns the house and asked if I could take some of it for my landscaping. Well I sent it and a few days later he called and I am wondering if EVERYONE is smoking 'funny' cigarettes because the guy said he wanted $45!!!! That's just KOOKY talk!!!! HA!!!! So after all of the shenanigans of the last month or so, I called up the freakin' county dump that started this WHOLE odyssey and asked, me-"Is the mulch still contaminated?" nice lady at the dump- 'no darlin' come on over and get a load of it." WOO HOO! All is right with the world!

Hey ya want to see what I 'treat' these with?

WOO HOO!!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! I think pops got this like 20 years ago at one of the first warehouse clubs, I think the name of it was Pace. I have had it ever since so instead of spending $$$ on some leather conditioner I checked online and one of the MANY uses of WD-40 is 'treating' leather products! GIDDY UP!!!!!
$150 pair of Blundstones +
FREE 20 year old WD-40 =
one happy Andy McBride and boots that SHINE!!!

Also, after years of treating it like a rented mule, my good old Sears Craftsman finally kicked the bucket.

Remember before when Frog fixed it, well I think the engine FINALLY just gave up and did it's best Roberto Duran and said "NO MAS!" So I had a day off and decided that would be a great time to invest $100 bucks into filling up my truck and heading up to Charlotte to get a new one.....


It's a Husqvarna and keeping up with my tradition of naming power equipment, I named it in honor of one of the funniest kids I knew.

Bjorn, an exchange student from Sweden who was 'exposed' to the FREE LAND of the USA by my brother and his friends..... They got the poor kid sooooooo plaster at a drive in that he PUKED all over my dad's new Grand Marquis MMMMMMM GOOD TIMES!!!!

So let's recap. There's Marvella

And then Bjorn.

AND FINALLY, marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:
This month marks the first time I went to the county dump and was asked by the attendant "BOY!?! Where are you from cause you talk funny." Maybe because I'm a DAMN YANKEE? Have a great month and try not to write a check your butt can't cash....


joecacti said…
BOY!?! Where are you from cause you talk funny.
joecacti said…
hehe... forgot the comment: hilarious!

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