Thursday, June 01, 2017

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The U.S.S BONG AND OTHER STUFF!!!!

 NO!!! That was not her name but we did name a DR.PEPPER promotional blow up raft our friend in high school brought out to the lake. Let's get back on track, OKIE DOKIE!?!?!?!

 My neighbors and I were hanging out on DA ODE TO BOOB (AKA- my fire pit) and they were talking about having a boat and the fun they would have. This sent me in a "reminiscing" mood and I decided to write ANOTHER part of my life that was VERY GOOD to me!!!!! Let's start from the beginning shall we?

 The Thunderbird tri hull AKA 'cirrhosis of the river ':

 Not sure who named it that but, Boike bought an old Thunderbird TRI HULL boat. He bought the thing when it was just held up by Styrofoam blocks NO trailer! HA!!! He told me that he bought it for $500!! FYI! We got more than $500 out of it!!! TRUST ME!!! We didn't care that it had no seats, just a Styrofoam block to sit on when driving. We didn't care if the back where the outboard motor was, had to be reinforced with metal rods so the engine wouldn't fall off the boat when you hit the throttle. We had a boat! I and others skied, wake boarded, knee boarded and pimped around the lake in it. It was just GREAT to get off work, I was a lifeguard, if you can call that work, drive down to Lake Wylie and ski the evening away. KRIPES, I am NOT afraid to tell ya, that I and others would even ski naked just to shock the people on the shore. COME ON!! We were young, built like Greek Gods and stupid. Did I mention that WE HAD A BOAT? We didn't care if it was a piece of CR@P. I vividly remember Scott F, Joe W. and I driving it up to the bar/restaurant on the lake(T-BONES) and parking it between two sweet @$$ boats. We went up on the deck, ordered a few beers and starting talking to some ladies. We said look at that boat and they both said, "That BIG one there?" We said "Nope", They said, "oh that nice one there?" We said "Not that one either. Look at the one between those two, THAT'S our boat!" HA!!! We were soooooo proud of that thing.


TRUST ME! The one that he had was NOT this nice looking.


77 Mastercraft

 Next was this beauty, a 1977 MasterCraft ski boat with a 351 V8 and man it flew.... I just got out of college and dreamed BIG!!!! KRIPES I got a 1997 F150 (as of 2017, I still have it) with the biggest V8 Ford made that year in it... It was perfect because it pulled this thing around too. Oh and gas was super cheap, I vividly remember getting it for .69 cents per gallon! HA! ANYWAYS, I bought it from a girl who knew it was about to go, probably someone told her to just fix it enough for someone to test drive it and buy it. Boike went with me for a test drive. It was on Mountain Island Lake in NC and it ran pretty sweet, the only thing that sucked was that the girl didn't have enough life jackets for all of us and Boike ended up with a fine... I bought it for $4000, he lent me $2000 so I could buy it. I think we had it out once or twice before we had 'issues' with it. Not to sound 'technical' but the manifolds were cracked and the top of the engine where the combustion happens, was drowning in all the water... MAN, I was had. I took it to a mechanic friend of mine and we had to tear the whole top of the engine apart and clean out all the water and I had to get new exhaust manifolds for it. Trust me, it was not cheap. This was also the same time I moved to WI.. My girlfriend at the time and I drove back to NC. to get the boat. WELL, we were driving back to WI. with it and one of the wheel bearings went on the trailer. It was 2AM in Florence, KY. I was TIRED and PISSED! I was able to limp it to a parking lot where a police officer was. She asked us what the issue was and I explained everything and jokingly asked her if she wanted to buy a boat. To my surprise, she said that she was wanting one. She looked it over and asked how much. I gave her a price and she agreed to buy it. She then told me to meet her at the courthouse at 9am to sign it all over to her. We did that and BAM! It was done. She had a 77 MasterCraft!



99 Rinker

 I was up in WI. and my brother's future wife had a pristine 1999 Rinker that her and ex husband had. Now, my brother and her were NOT "boat people" and so they called me with a propitiation.The deal was that if I moved back to NC, I could have the boat! HELL YEAH! I told myself that if this boat did not "HELP" me out in certain situations than I would give it all up and become a priest. BTW- the last time I checked, I am not Father McBride. ANYWAY! When I bought "CASA DE MCBRIDE" in 2005, The boats days were numbered because I lived like 35 miles from the lake and it WAS not cheap to fill up the truck and boat for a day of fun ($200+). I put it on Craig List and a kid from GA. emailed me right away and told me he was going to drive up and see it. WHOW! That is a haul but he was determined! He came up around midnight and just wanted to make sure the engine turned over. It did and he made an offer and I accepted it. I helped him hook it up to his truck and he was off back to GA.


 AND that concluded my time as a boat owner. This statement sums it all up for a former boat owner, THERE are two days that are GREAT when you get a boat, the day you first get it and the day you sell it. They are "money pits" and I could go on and on about NOT having one BUT that is for YOU to learn when you have one.

 This is what I have been up to the last month:


  • Finished my 1st semester of school. FYI- All "A's" but one "B"
  • Started summer school and I MIGHT be "over my head" with a class or two. I might need to take it down a notch and reduce my classes. We will see! 
  • Got a little part time job delivering pizza at night.
            1. MAN! It's a CASH cow!
            2. The key for a good tip is JUST to be nice and presentable to people... FOR THE LOVE OF
                GOD, JUST SHAVE DANG NABBIT!
            3. If you are looking for an easy job than become one. Words cannot describe how easy it is!
                Dare I say It's as easy as my prom date, FYI- I didn't even go to prom!
  • I also go and donate plasma between the break in my classes. THEY pay you $50 every time! I would do it for free due to all the great things they can do with your plasma but I sure am NOT going to complain that they pay me!
  • Went out to dinner with an old co worker from Wells Fargo and had a great time catching up.
  • Took the advise of "ROCK CANDY" and installed an old crate to hold my yard tools I have in the garage.

  • Installed a damper on the wood stove so it doesn't get as HOT as "the hubs of HELL"in the backroom.
As you can see, it was made in CHINA!

  • STILL getting depressed about stuff BUT I just put on my "Big Boy Britches" and deal with it. 
That's all for this month! Talk to you soon.

1. There was this guy when Boike and I went to Talledega and he said, "MAN, it is hotter than the hubs of hell!". Boike and I looked at each other with a "What the heck does that mean?" BUT! We say it all the time!

2 comments:

Mike said...

I think you may have a few alternative truths and omissions here!
The Thunderbird was NEVER named “Cirrhosis of the River”. Now that was your tube’s name.
The Thunderbird was named Gillian’s Woody. My first tube was named Gilligan’s rubber, and the second was named Chilin da Most.
I will not comment on the naked water skiing YOU did, but I will say I have never seen 4 girl topless on my boat. Three, possibly!
Master craft omission. This was the best boat ever because you could dip the nose coming back into your wake and SOAK all of your unsuspecting passengers(just ask Anna Rose). Don’t forget the damn boat put a dent in the back of my red Dodge truck!
Rinker omission- You had a GPS location called Andy’s cove, or make out cove! I think you played Sade there a time or two.

Unknown said...

You are always proud of the 'firsts' in your life. Would love to see a pic of that boat.

So I don't forget!!!!!!

  My EDDIE Van Halen/ General Lee theory is kinda stupid BUT it kinda resonates with A LOT of stuff in life!   OKIE DOKIE!!!!! Let's del...