Craig's List!
It's NOT just for finding 'escort services' ANY MORE OR LOOKING FOR LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV!

Someone WHO wants to remain anonymous BUT I talk to this person ALL THE TIME, SWEARS by Craig's List as a great way to get rid of junk and meet some very interesting people in the process. This is just a few of the emails that this person sent me describing some of the people he has met:

"Andy, I get it all, the one legged guy, the guy on disability who wants a job 'under the table' so he can continue to take the money and run, the Pakistani family(Omar the 10 year old was a WORKER tossing that wood in!) and the guy stuffing his Explorer with 1/2 cord of wood.  Yes, that is just from last week!

You know it is funny, and I like that it amuses you, but I can not laugh publicly at some of these people? Come on. Here is another gem from Saturday. Guy that is picking up the wood in the explorer tells me that he has two girls every other weekend, BUT he just got engaged to a girl in Chaney WY. Oh, that's cool, you just picked out the ring? Where did you meet her...........5 months ago on the web. See this one will surely last they have met 4 times in person now!" .

"ok, you got it.  I hate when I stick around for a 2:30 appointment and at 3:30 he shows up.  So all he needs to do is to load it up pay me, and take off so I can get back on the loader.  He wants to chat and tell me stories about buying the truck he came out in, some horse he got for free,  and the horse trailer he purchased.  His wife told him to go check out a horse trailer that was for sale.  It was marked for $4888.  he offered $4500, and the guy said nope, 4888.  He then said $4700, but again nope, $4888.  he offers $4800, but still no movement from the guy.  They finally settle on $4888 since the guy is not budging at all.  He arranged to pick it up the next day, and asked the guy if he needed a deposit and the seller says nope your wife already gave me $1000 to hold it for you.  Now it was a funny story, but to add a bit of funniness when he tells it he takes his hat off and throws it at the ground.  Just plain odd." 

"A guy from about an hour needs a cord of hickory, and asks if I can deliver it for him. Nope its pick up only, but he needs it today. I tell him he needs 4 wheel drive to access the pile, and he agrees to come out. after his GPS got him lost a few times, and about 2 hours later he arrives. now when he called, he sounded all kinds of whacked asking me where he was from landmarks like 'a pond' or 'steep hills' and such. When he arrived he hops out at the pile, since his girlfriend was driving, and proceeds to pour a gin and juice or some type beverage into his coffee cup. after that he needs a cig and a break to relieve Little Elvis(his words not mine). We get the load all set and the driver of the all to overloaded Honda Ridgeline needs one more for the road, so dude gets out the bottle and pours about half and half of the gin and OJ. I tell you its a freckin train wreck with these guys sometimes, BUT like a pimp on Friday night I got paid baby!"



HA! One of my all time favorite stories is about a guy coming to get a truck load of rock and his poor truck didn't like all the weight had a very hard time getting back on the main road and needed some help from a tractor pulling him! I know I don't do the story 'justice' but I think you get the idea. GREAT STUFF, and So ya have a reference, A 1/2 cord of wood looks like this.

AND this is an EXPLORER

WHERE IN GOD'S NAME DID THE GUY PUT ALL THE WOOD!?!?!?!?!

After hearing all the GREAT success that 'PERSON A' has had, I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WENT FOR IT!!!!! CRAIG'S LIST here I come! First up was my old ride on lawn mower.

 It was the FASTEST sale EVER!! I posted it at 6pm and within 6:05 it was sold and was picked up and gone by 7PM!! WOO HOO!!!! I can sooooooooooooooo get use to this!!!! Sorry BUT the guy that bought it was pretty normal. He wasn't drunk or telling me about having a girlfriend in Chaney, WY.  Next was my oven and microwave And for a WHOPPING $25 it was sold in NO TIME!!!!!!

Again, No WILD AND WACKY story to tell ya, The guy was pretty normal. I went bigger for my next item, That's right kids, the BOAT is officially on the selling block. It hasn't sold yet but I have gotten quite a few 'bites'..

In other news to hit the Lancaster metro area, we had a nasty hail storm which dented up my new Civic really bad, OH WELL! That's why there is insurance. 99% of the time, I keep it in the garage BUT I needed room because I was working on a flux capacitor. My car is all dinged up BUT BY GOD, I can go back in time now!!! WIN/WIN BABY!!! Also my roof was banged up pretty good and has to be replaced... $500 deductible for a new hood, roof and trunk all painted and a $1000 for a NEW roof for the house with a 14 year old one. I'll take it.

ALSO I am PROUD to announce Operation 'I really want grass to grow in my back yard'. This consists of me coming home each night and throwing on some old clothes, knee pads and putting my iPod on 'shuffle' or listening to a book and getting on all 4s and picking rocks up and putting them into a bucket. You see, I'm not sure BUT I think the previous owners had a truck load of freakin' gravel dumped back there because it's ALL over the place.

All the rocks go into a nice little area right in front of the shed I keep Bjorn. AND beware because I have two pink flamingos guarding it 24 hours a day and they are pretty mean! They can bite your finger off!!!!!

I mentioned that I listen to a book while I am out picking rocks and I have been listening to the one from Sammy Hagar, ALL I CAN SAY IS, Eddie Van Halen is one EFFed up guy! But I guess that's what happens to ya after 30 years of doing drugs! WOW! Where was I? Oh yeah, I stated earlier that I need a new roof due to the hail storm, well I was picking rocks and I heard a voice and it kinda freaked me out because I was looking around and didn't see anyone and jumped up and was ready to 'cold cock' someone and it was a young guy on my roof. It was the insurance adjuster checking out my roof. Poor kid, he kept on apologizing to me for scaring the BEJESUS out of me..... 

Oh and looky what I got for $10 bucks at Tractor Supply! Don't HATE because I make this look GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

The only difference between these two pictures is a yellow turtle neck and I checked and I don't have one! SON OF A!!!!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month, SORRY LAST MONTH, marks the first time I celebrated my birthday (April 27th) in my OWN house!!! Talk to ya later and remember, I ain't one of your FRAT boy's that will laugh at anything that comes out of your pretty little mouth! (throwing my hat on the ground) OH WAIT!?! You didn't go to college, NEVER MIND!!!!

COME ONE, COME ALL!!

To the first annual 'ASK ANDY ANYTHING'! WOO HOO!!!! My fellow BLOGGER Kelly gave me the idea to do it. So I asked him for permission and he said, "HECK, I stole the idea from someone else so it's cool with me." I also stole part of the idea from The Bob and Brain morning show, One of the FUNNIEST shows I have ever heard. They have a segment called 'one question line' where a listener is allowed to ask one question and they answer it. This is the way it will work (as of now), I will answer your questions as they come in cool??? I promise to answer ALL questions, now granted, I might be laughing while I type an answer to ya but I WILL respond!!! So set your phaser guns to 'fun' and fire away with your questions.....If the past is any indication, I'll be lucky to get 3 people to actual read this and submit a question....... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OH I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOTTA PUT THIS IN!!!! I sold my old car to my cousin and so you know, I'm not the only one in my family that has an ODD sense of humor!!!

HA!!! I sooooooooooooo cannot wait to try to deposit this! I might be arrested so if ya get a call from me FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, please answer and post my bail!!!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This marks the first time I celebrated my birthday at Casa de McBride with some guns, midget hookers and firetrucks! MAN!!!!! WHAT A GREAT TIME!!! Talk to ya later and remember, those 'pictures' you took for your EX are now on the World Wide World and this guy can see them. FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!

First up is Allan, who claims to be a 5th round draft pick of the Lions in 2003, At least that's what he told girls to 'get some'. ANYWAYS He asks "Andy my question is why are you so awesome and the rest of us are like the Buffalo Bills?" Nice backhanded compliment I am pretty awesome aren't I???? As for the Bills comment, being a Bills fan is like being in a marriage, you have your good times and not so great ones. Plus you know deep down inside that as soon as our 92 year old owner goes to the big football field up in the sky, it's GAME OVER for Buffalo having a team! YEAH I SAID IT!!!! They will be bought and relocated in a glamorous other city. The western New York region just CAN'T financially support an NFL team! SAD BUT TRUE!

Up next is 'anonymous' who I am pretty sure is this guy. HE/SHE asks "how many 'notches' do you have on your bed post Mr Swingin Single?" Well let's step back and analyze the situation. I live by myself in a pretty sweet house, I have ALL my teeth, I DO NOT have an EX still pissed I got the couch from the family room in the divorce, a job, I'm financially responsible, I have a nice vehicle that gets me to point 'A' to point 'B' and back to point 'A', no baby's daddy.... I would say that when you add all that up, that your question is answered and being the MATURE gentleman that I am, I will NOT divulge any more info.

One of my friends from near the GREAT WHITE NORTH 'TAKE OFF EH!' asks : "For April fool’s day, which is better, gluing a quarter to the floor or putting a rubber band on the sink sprayer???" BOTH have YouTube written all over them!!!! But if I had to choose one then the rubber band on the sink sprayer would be the winner. The look of SHOCK you would get from the unsuspecting victim would be PRICELESS and they would be soaked too!! WIN/WIN!!!!

And batting clean up is Kelly who asked "What do you think of Allegany now, twenty years after our age group graduated and started leaving for the most part? How do you like your eggs? How do you like your steak? How do you like your women? You get home after a rough day...not a horrible day, but one where you put in more effort than you normally do. The beverage you reach for is...what?" It's a bag of MIXED EMOTIONS. On one side I am VERY GLAD Big Ron moved us down here in Aug of 1988. There was and is, better opportunities down here. Job wise that is. The weather is pretty sweet. You still get the change of seasons but it's NOT as extreme as it is up in Allegany. It's not gloomy with a chance of snow from Oct. to April. It gets HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HELL during the summer BUT that's why there is central AC! On the other hand, I MISS that 'small town' atmosphere. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE I CAME FROM! ALLEGANY EFFing NEW YORK! It's who I am and makes me the PERSON I am today. As for my eggs, I prefer them scrambled. I love COW and I prefer it well done. Women Ehh!?!?!? Well I prefer a woman that has a GOOD HEAD on her shoulders. Sure looks are cool and all BUT I enjoy a girl that ACTUALLY listens to me and does not consider me LITTLE ANDY that doesn't know how to EFFing balance a check book. A woman that KNOWS I have my moods where I need to just be alone and TRY to think of a solution to a problem. KRIPES! I could write FOREVER about this subject but I will spare you and the 4 other people reading this. I HARDLY EVER drink on 'school nights', during the week, but when someone or something really RILES me up then I just drink a beer, PBR usually and call it a night because you realize the next day that it's really not that bad. 

Scott asked "Who are you most looking forward to seeing at beer-pa-looza 2011?" And I can say with a FIRM ANSWER that I am excited to see EVERYONE that is there. Growing up in Allegany REALLY made me the person I am today. Sure I moved when I was in 8th grade BUT trust me, having an older brother and his friends HELP ME 'grow up' will ALWAYS be one of the BEST experiences ever. With that said, I REALLY want to see your wife and baby being that YOU made me feel like dog poopy last year because I didn't come in time to meet them. 

The DAYTONA 500 is now officially 'marked off' the bucket list. WOO HOO!!!

Sure it's kinda RED NECKY but it's something I can say I WAS AT! I would love to say that about a Super Bowl and if the Bills EVER get back to one, WISHFUL THINKING RIGHT, I'll go...... 

To mark the occasion, I took the STP patch off of the old hat I wore when I and almost everyone at CCHS  worked at STP 'car wash and lube' center

NOTE TO EVERYONE READING THIS! 

NEVER send your car through a car wash that is run by teenagers! GOOD GOD! The shenanigans I could tell ya! Where was I?!?! OH YEAH! So I took the STP patch off an old hat and had 'Catholic Kate' Mom, sew it on a newer hat..... I then took a black Sharpie and blacked out old logo on it! HA!!!

STP patch from an old hat- FREE

A hat that I took from my dad because he NEVER wears it- FREE

Mom's MAD 'sewing skills'- free

A black Sharpie I had at my desk at work- FREE

A SWEET @$$ hat that is the envy of every person that was at the race- PRICELESS!

As for my FL. trip, it was uneventful. I took the train and NO I didn't encounter any CRAZY PEOPLE 
and I have found that it's really not that bad........ Just have your iPod full of some Dave Ramsey, Clark Howard, PTI and Bill Simmons and the time FLIES by and did I mention it's CHEAP? Amtrak! Gov't OWNED since 1971!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Hello MOTHER RUSSIA!  Anyways, my cousin Elise picked me up and we hung out for the day

which consisted of going to her place of work because she gets a discount there! HA KIDDING! She doesn't work there. Anyways, we then proceeded to relax at the RESORT de SINGER!!! MY GOD!!!!!

Most of my time consisted of me plopping my butt on the couch and drinkin' one of the last truly American owned beer.

I also saw some old friends that I have not seen in like 15 years!!! The TENORES RULE!!! Sorry no pictures because I forgot to take one!! Getting old is a BEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTCH!

In other news, With very MIXED emotions I would like to say good bye to an old friend that I have known and loved since 2/3/04!

Yeap! Her transmission 'went'.... This was a direct cause of the getting tagged from behind, you see, I had the car in gear when I was hit and the impact caused the gears in the transmission to strip. It wasn't instant BUT it was a rapid progression where one morning it just wouldn't go in gear at all..... But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don't feel too sorry for me because I drove this until I got a new Civic!

EVERYONE! In your best Mr. Howard voice I want you to say "Excuse me fine sir, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?" Now I know you are asking yourself, well maybe you're not but anyways, "why didn't he just drive his truck in the mean time?" Well her official name is 'Townie' because she is not up for driving long distances anymore and driving a 60 mile round trip each day just isn't in her... The transmission in her is starting to slip.... So she is just groovy being an IN TOWN truck hence her name 'Townie'.... Where was I?!?! OH YEAH, BUYING A CAR TIP #1: Try this out the next time you are looking at buying a car and the sales rep is all over you like a cheap suit. When they ask you to take a seat and talk about 'numbers' say "No I think I'll just stand". They kinda get intimidated and you find that your 'numbers' tend to go into your favor! PLUS having these too help!

People think you are a PHYSCO biker dude that is packing heat and is on the verge of going 'postal'!! SO!!!! This is what I got! ANOTHER HONDA CIVIC! Hey domestic car makers!?! Be more like Honda and people will start buying your stuff again.

HA!!! Wanna hear what I was pretty close to doing???? TRADING HER IN AFTER JUST A DAY! Here's why, Someone who 'recently graduated college and is pretty sure they know everything' got the same color car! The only saving grace was that it's a hybrid and mine is not.... WOW! That was close wasn't it!?!? I was 'this close' to going back to the dealer and trading it in! Not really BUT HEY I have $10 bucks saying that it made ya laugh....

FIRST OFF, don't faint but I DO go to mass regularly and let's just say that I am the youngest person there. Anyways, The old guys there have been 'LICKING THEIR CHOPS' because they would love me to be a Knight of Columbus. When one of them approached me about it, all I could think about was the Knights of Columbus in Allegany and their DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY!!! KRIPES!!!! This guy was one of them!

NO he's NOT dead in this picture! I have been assured by my fellow F/Ber's that he is in fact, sleeping! ANYWAYS! This is Bud Kennedy, the science teacher and Knight of Columbus in Allegany, NY! He and his fellow 'Knights' LIVED IT UP, to say the least, and he is ALL I think of when the Knights of Columbus are brought up.

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I watched the Super Bowl on my SUPER PHAT HDTV.
Talk to ya later and remember, I do NOT hate anyone but there are people I CHOOSE NOT to associate with! FYI! If I don't talk to you and avoid ya like the FREAKIN' PLAGUE, That's why...

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