UGH!

****** I wrote the following in April and being that some people do not want to be identified in this then each person will be referred to as 'person 'A' and person 'B' BUT you have to be one of the dumbest people EVVVVVER not to know how they are.....****** So everyone knows now, and frankly I could give an EFF if you don't, BECAUSE THEY WERE A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE!!!!! Anyways, after a very long time, person 'A' and person 'B' are no more. When all this was told to me, I talked to another friend about it and I will NEVER forget this person asking "McBride why are you so upset?" OH I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE BECAUSE I FELT LIKE THEIR EFFING KID!! What they, said I did! KRIPES!! They could of have told me to jump and I would ask “how high?”. EVERY aspect of my life since college was ALWAYS ran by them first…. From “hey y’all, what do you think of this back splash, tile for the kitchen?” “Do you think, the next time I am there, we can go get some of those shoes that you two wear? They look really comfortable” and "Can you teach me how to ride a horse? I saw someone in a music video do it and I really want to learn." I saw person 'B' about to dry some clothes and I asked why she didn't put in a fabric sheet in with the clothes and she explained to me that they are bad for the environment SO I don't use them and will NEVER. I had the ‘barometer’ when it came to girls. If they weren’t too sure of them and raised a ‘red flag’ then I would pay heed. They were also my voice of reason when I had issues with life or work! They were there for me when I knew I had some health issues and JAEL a supervisor from HELL decided to TRY to play hard ball with me!!!!! KRIPES!!!! Just look back in my blog and you will see me talking about them in some way or another. They were my ‘ROCK’, sure they had their ‘quirks’ BUT who doesn’t????????????? My life changed at 4:10PM on 4/19/13 when the words “we are getting a divorce” were uttered! It was one of two of the most traumatic events in my life! The first was in 1988 when we moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. I at least had some 'fair warning' with that, this was a SUCKER PUNCH!!!  I was in shock then and I think I will ALWAYS be…..First thing ANYONE asks is “WHAT HAPPENED?” and sure I have some suspicions but I’m kinda cool with not knowing. I just know that it’s a game changer for me! NO more playing on the farm and collecting rocks and exploring on the four wheeler driving a tractor and bush hogging a field and there are some people I'm pretty sure that I will NEVER see again! A stop at their farm was ALWAYS a MUST on my annual tour and with all that happened, this year’s trip was ‘altered’. I had a friend brew me some of his YUMMY ‘oat meal’ stout, and I was planning on drinking it with person 'A' on the front porch BUT………… Y’all, I could give 2 $hits about my ‘issues’, I worry about others! It’s just the way I have ALWAYS been and will ALWAYS be!!! I emailed his mom this when I found out, “Remember when we saw Dr. Patel the last time and I was soooooooooooooooooooooo upset that I couldn't talk to ya because I would bust out crying???? Well that is how I have felt since 4:10PM on Friday...” This all reminds me of what Kathy K., Mary’s mom, told me when she told Keith, her dad (PEACHY), that she wanted a divorce, he asked “Well what am I gonna do?” And she took it as he was being selfish but as a man and as difficult he could be, not just with me but EVERYONE, I can see where he was coming from when he said that. Basically he was sayin’ that she was ALL he knew for the past 20 years and he basically was ‘lost’ without her! It’s funny how the big ‘D’ (divorce) trickles down and affects everyone…..KRIPES! It’s the direct reason why person 'A' and I don’t talk anymore. We have different philosophies on certain things and so………. I guess it’s a new chapter in my life.  Is it not ALWAYS throwing you curve balls and you just have to deal with it. Do I think about it?? YEAH!!!! Like everyday! I have an email that I have been writing, deleting and rewriting for a few months ready to go to him but I know I am one stubborn S.O.B and I know he is too. WHAT THE CRAP, he 'willed' himself to read the crappy 'Tale Of Two Cities' even though we all told him it was a terrible book!!!! Now I am not saying it will be easy BUT you have to be like the Marines who ‘adapt, improvise and overcome’ situations. Let's hope 2014 is a better year!!!!!
UGH!!!!!