Good day earthlings, first off I wanna say that resistance is futile OH AND take me to you're leader! WOO HOO!!!!

Set your phaser guns to 'FUN' because it's been all fun & games around casa de McBride! Let's get started.
Now I will be the first person to say that BIG LOTS rules 99.9% of the time BUT sometimes I buy something there that turns out to be CRAP! I think it's called buyer's remorse, this applies to many things, HA!!!! I just went POLITICAL on ya! Sorry about that, WHERE WERE WE??? OH YEAH, A couple of years ago I bought some plastic landscaping borders and as you can see, they weren't the prettiest things ever made,


So I decided to do something about them and one day be awarded the prestigious "Lancaster county yard of the month' award. I got some cedar borders, landscaping nails, something to kneel on because I ain't 18 any more and SHAZAM!

GEEZ! come to think about it,

I have been as busy as a groupie backstage at a Motley Crue concert in 87.

1. I installed and use quite frequently a rain barrel (40 gallons) to water my plants and the 2k day lillis that Mr. Boike gave me like 4 years ago.

I can sit here and tell ya how I am just doing my part to help out mother Earth BUT I ain't gonna waste my breath! WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREWED! WE, the human race, has made sooooo many things that ARE NOT BIODEGRADABLE! Speaking of that,

2. I bought a few bags of rubber mulch for the front area.

The stuff looks pretty good too.

3. Installed gutter guards:


SO I don't have this problem anymore.


4. It doesn't leak BUT I still wanted to make sure so again using my YEARS of redneck engineering, I have a degree in it ya know, I added a cover to my hot water on demand vent. FYI, I went up there at the crack of the morning because I don't know about where you live but it's been hotter then H to the E to the double L down here and I really didn't want to loose 5 lbs. in SWEAT while installing it........ I'm a fart smeller, I mean, smart feller like that....

It just OOZES ''redneck' doesn't it??? GIDDY UP!

5. The homeless guy, Adam, and I did some pruning of the trees. WOW! Trees sure do grow fast. I think it was only two summers ago I pruned them last...

6. I made some really, really, really redneck looking trestle for the roses I planted next to my shed to grow up.

HEY I made the thing out of spare parts I had and you cannot see it unless you are way in the back yard and your in the woods, KRIPES! You can't even see it from my kitchen window.

7. In my ENDLESS battle with the front ditch, KRIPES! It's like one of those EPIC wrestling matches where it was SOOOOOOOOO long they had to break to commercial and Hulk Hogan was STILL in a sleeper hold when they came back from the commercial break! ANYWAYS, I dug and installed a pipe to help.

8. Well I was going to organize my shed BUT I think I will wait until until these guys leave.


Good Call!?!??!

That's it for the time being.... I'm BEAT and going to go hit the showers because I smell like ,well like a guy that's been working outside in 95 degrees and forgot to put on some underarm deodorant. Then a committee that consists of ME, MYSELF and I have decided to take a nap....BUT before I go, I want to tell you to stay tuned because of a HUGE milestone that's coming up next month... Here's a hint, It's been 5 years in the making!!!

“The McBride World Tour- Summer leg” is complete THANK YOU, WE LOVE YOU and be safe driving home!

In all, It was about 1525 miles from start to finish and I had a blast at every stop. Let's begin, shall we?

First stop was Mansfield, OH where I hung out with Grandma McBride....

The other person in the picture is Sue, AND GOD LOVE HER! She is such a big help with grandma, She's soooooooo going to Heaven....... You heard it here first.

Then had lunch and a beer or two with my Nana, she's 91 so I really don't blame her for not getting out of her chair the whole time I was there.

And the other person is Carol Jo who ROCKS too! She helps out Nana!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Next stop was Allegany, NY, where I'm originally from. I was lucky enough to have an old friend, Kara, color my hair JET BLACK!

I have NEVER done something like that before,

Like the nacho cheese on the side of my mouth? It was in 95 degree heat for three hours BUT it still was yummy in my tummy! ANYWAYS, I have been thinking about it for the last few months BUT what made my decision to do it was when my mother 'frowned' on the idea and didn't like it one bit! That so made up my mind to go for it! HOUSTON, "the eagle has landed"!!!!! So with my bitchin' hair and my sweet chops, I went to the beer tent for BEER-PA-LOOZA at the famous Allegany carnival. GOOD TIMES!! I saw friends that I have not seen in like 25 years!!! I'm not going to tell ya who exactly everyone is but know that they are old friends and helped mold me into the person I am today! The 'TALL COOL ONE' MOFO! HA! I have soooooo many pictures that I am just going to make a slide show for ya. Cool?

One picture that I do have to write a little about is the one of Dave D, Todd H. and I! THANK GOD for statute of limitations because these two guys and I did stuff back in the day that would have caused me to be in jail.

And let's be honest here, can you see me in jail?

I would be the BEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTTTTCCCCHHHHHH of cell block 'C' in 1.2 seconds....

Getting back on track, here's something for anyone that couldn't make it to BEER-PA-LOOZA.

OH YEAH! I took this while cruising on the BEAUTIFUL roads up in NY with the thought "GEE? You would think that after RAPING the fine citizens of NY with some of the highest taxes in the country, the state would make their roads a little bit better to drive on."

I also spent some time with the family a few towns over in Bolivar.

Then it was off to Emporium, PA to see my cousin

and his 'mentally unstable' wife. HA!!!!! I'm so kidding, Amanda don't punch me out the next time I see ya.... A good time was had by all whether if it was eating some YUMMY steaks that Joe grilled, being interrogated by their three kids, sitting on the porch having a few beers or watching Amanda play 'Wheel of Fortune' on the Play Station and interrupting Joe and I's conversation to ask "HEY! Can you help me solve this?"

Last but not least was Marshall, VA for some FUN at Boike and Mese farm! As always, they placed me on a tractor to bush hog one of their 25 freakin' fields!!!

Not only did I bush hog to my little heart's content but we also floated down the Shenandoah River too!!! I also got some SWEET boots that Mese and Boike wear to work outside, BUT I have a HUGE dilemma because they are soooooooooo nice that I don't want to use them for working outside. WHAT TO DO!!! The whole time there we drank some of the FINEST beers NY and PA. had to offer like Genesee, Schmidt's and Iron City. We also went to the 'Hatcher petting zoo', kidding, farm and had fun and games for the 4th.

I think this year's theme was something to do with palm trees, wife beaters, cowboy hats and kiddie pools. Am I right Janice and Mese? ANYWAYS, everyone had a blast KRIPES, Boike had sooooo much fun that we left him there!!! HA!!!!! Next year I'm busting out these babies,

let's hope no one gets impaled!!!!

Well that's it for now, time to go back outside in this HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HELL heat and finish putting up gutter guards, DANG I live a pretty exciting life don't I?

BY THE WAY, Did ya notice that I changed the background and design of my SWEET @$$ blog!?!?!?! You can't stop me but, only hope to contain me!!!!!

So you want to buy a house eh??

The days of getting some beers with the guys after work will be replaced with cleaning gutters, trimming hedges AND stuff like that.....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.............

After tearing it down and starting from scratch, what do you thing? Personally I am happy with the results. I would at this time, like to thank everyone involved in making this happen. Me, myself and I! Also I would like to also give some major props to my back which I am sure will ‘go out’ on me at anytime…… DAMN! Those RR ties are freakin’ heavy.


I don’t know what the weather has been like in your neck of the woods BUT us common folk in Lancaster county have had a few pretty violent thunder bummers. They have not caused any MAJOR damage at casa de McBride but they did cause some of the roofing to come off around the vent for my ‘hot water on demand’ unit. HA!!!!! I SAID UNIT!!!!

So I had to go up there and do some repair work to prevent a part of the ceiling clasping or anything. That would SOOOOOOO leave a mark wouldn’t it????? So it's not exactly pretty, SO WHAT? It's on the back side of the house and no one can see it. Plus it was the first time EVER that I did roof repair also it was hotter than the hubs of hell up there so I was kinda wanting to get the job done quick so I could get down from the roof and cool down.

I'll let ya know if it was successful when we get another storm. I hope it works because I sure don't want to go up there again! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT WAS HOT!

Got a little ditty for ya, This happened about a week after my last entry BUT to AGONIZE Boike, I have not said anything until now. I have been having ‘issues’ with my lawn mower.

No matter what I did, the dang thing never wanted to start. I took it to Sears where I bought it and was greeted by Beavis and Butthead. MY GOD!!!! They were about as useful as a male stripper at a lesbian party.... Needless to say, I came out of there ready to explode with frustration, so I went down to see about just getting a new one like my neighbors, THAT THING IS SWEEEEEET.

The guy down at the dealer started talking to me after he saw I was looking at new ride on’s. I told him my situation and he said “I would LOVE to sell ya a new one BUT here’s the # of a guy that can work on your old one and get it running like new.” I look at the paper and it says FROG then a #... I looked kinda puzzled and the guy saw that and said “That’s his name.” HA!!!!! So I call ‘FROG’ and he has a very heavy southern accent and with my heavy YANKEE one, it was a MAJOR communication break down. I had to call him 5 times because I couldn’t understand what he was sayin’ when he was giving me directions. HA!!!! It got to a point where he was so frustrated that he handed the phone to his granddaughter. THANK GOD because I could understand her and vise verse. Well I eventually found the place and ‘FROG’ is everything you think of when picturing a good old boy. Not too many teeth in the old mouth but one of the nicest guys you’ll EVER meet. He looked at it and I think he said “It’s the valve and I will get it workin’ like new for ya.” Again, I think that's what he said, the jury is still out on that one BUT I got it back in a day and it runs like it just came off the assembly line in China where it was made by a kid who works 13 hours a day with no breaks and if he's lucky, A cup of water from the pond that is used as the run off from the surfer mine.

Well kids! That's all I got for ya this month... Remember to scratch someone's back so they don't stab yours!!! Take care of yourself and get ready for a detailed, depends on how much I remember, summary of the 'McBride World Tour'- Summer Leg with stops in OH., NY., PA. and rounding it out, VA.. You'll pay for the whole seat but only need the edge!!!

Let's me start out by saying "I MADE THE PAPER!!!"

Now many of you have talked to me and I have been known to say some pretty 'obscure' things like "YAHTZEE"! Or "WOO HOO"!!! BUT I did not say “Boom. Pow. Done!”, This paper is damn lucking I am too busy saving people's houses or I would sue someone's @$$ for SLANDER! HA!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the scoop, Dollar General is right next to H&R Block or Jackson Hewitt I forgot the name but it's one of those tax places, and in my constant search for really cheap stuff, I came out of Dollar General with hand soap $1, SCORE!, in tow, I was approached by a the 'MAN ON THE STREET' reporter from the newspaper. He must of thought "That guy looks somewhat 'normal' although, those BITCHIN' chops are kinda intimidating, I will ask him about taxes." We talked for about 15 minutes and I'm sure I rambled about the KGB, I mean, the IRS and some of my political views. He was able to muster up enough of my gibberish to write an article

Remember my good friend Mark and his lovely bride Melissa?

Well they moved to 'Heaven's waiting room' I mean FL. and check it out! They have a FREAKIN' indoor pool!

BETTER YET! It has a freakin' table in it!!!!!! A TABLE!!!!!!!

DUDE!!!! It's 'sooooooo fly' that I'll use it as basis for a SWEET @$$ rap video because about 98% of them are shot at pools or boats......

Getting back to us SIMPLETONS, I used some more of the RR ties that I got like four years ago to make a nice little border around the big tree in the center of my back yard. I also planted day lillys in there that Mr Boike gave me about the same time! GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY! Those things grow and multiply like crazy!!! They are the rabbits of the plant world.

PLEASE DISREGARD THE LAST PARAGRAPH!

I built it and after looking at it, I was not satisfied with the results SO I tore it apart and I am currently rebuilding it to McBride standards. Kinda like the 6 million dollar man!!!! Side note, What in the WIDE WORLD of SPORTS will $6 million getcha these days?? A finger nail?? Sorry about that, I'm getting off my soap box, I promise that it'll be done by the time for my next entry.

Wanna see why I only drive 60mph on the interstate?

WOO HOO!!!!!! Just doin' my part while saving mother Earth and $$$$$..... I'm making all the tree huggers and capitalist pigs all warm and fuzzy inside... Also I got one of those blue tooth thingies so I have the TRIFECTA going! Let's rehash things, 1. I'm saving the planet 2. pocketing more money, 3. AND looking GQ ish while doing it!!!!! BOOOLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!


The 50MPGs picture was taken after I arrived up at the Boike/Mese farm in VA. for my annual pilgrimage for Gold Cup. a day to get all dressed up and be a SNOB while keeping to my roots and drinkin PBR...... We also celebrate my birthday too!!!! It's a WIN/WIN situation! They marked the occasion by getting some classy beverages and a cake of YUMMY IN MY TUMMY chocolate.


Fellow blogger and an old friend from A-TOWN, Allegany, just had her 2nd baby and it's a pretty funny story .While you are there, leave a comment about how her blog is ALMOST as cool as mine! HA!!!!!

OH AND! Check out the name of one of my 'followers'..... It's Babydoll!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! To all ya jealous guys out there, DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME!

BLEED THE FREAK!

HA!!!! No there is NO bleeding of any freaks! It's an old Alice In Chains song and it's playing right now as I type this.. Gee I don't have A.D.D............. Well let's talk about you, I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. OK! Enough about YOU, It's now time to talk about me and being this is MY BLOG then I think it's only fair!!!!! HOLLA!



So as many of you know, KRIPES, let my rephrase that, 'ALL OF YOU' know, I live out in the country which I love because I can burn stuff without someone calling the dang HOA and it's soooooooooooo freakin' quiet at night, except for the occasional Bailey, I'm dog sitting for Steph while she is in rehab concurring her addiction to LUVVVVVVVVV, farts, which smell like CREEPING DEATH, and a good old POSSUM Vs. CAT fight on the front porch, it's very peaceful. So I notice the slightest noise and the other night I heard some ruffling going on up in the attic. The next day I went up there and laid a couple traps and some YUMMY IN YOUR TUMMY peanut butter!!!! WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT STUFF?!? You show me someone that doesn't like the stuff and I will show you a nasty, dirty red COMMIE! That night, I was awaken by a WHACK noise!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! I'm not going to show you what I found sooooo I will simply say that if your keeping score at home, ANDY 1 Mouse 0!!!!!!!



Sorry this post is sooooooooooo short BUT I sustained a hand injury while trying to stop a dog sniffing 'We have not seen you around here/ this is our territory/ we think we like you but we still are not sure so we are going to growl and bark at you' ORGY. DON'T WORRY STEPH! Your baby is just fine but I fell and banged up my hand pretty good. SOOOOOOOO I can't finish my little project in the back yard. It will be ready by the next blog entry I PROMISE. Before I go I want to give you another reason why April is one of the best months of the year! It's my birthday month! GIDDY UP! Dark chocolate, stock option in Google, mail order brides and PBR are greatly appreciated.

And in case you're wondering, the possum WHOOPED UP on that cat! Those things are some mean little suckas!

ARE YOU READY FOR SPRING!?!?!?!?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!?!?

Tired of this?

And ready for this?

Now that we have this 'SPRING greetings thing' out of the way, I want to give you an update on the SWEET @$$ Playboy mugs that I use with pride to drink my PBR!

ATTENTION! FOR THE LOVE OF BABY JESUS! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS IF YOU DO NOT LIKE BAD LANGUAGE! Dennis Hopper drops the 'F' bomb in it! If ya do then turn the volume down on you computer and don't say I didn't warn ya! That's SOOOO tempting isn't it??? CLICK ON IT! DO IT! Just call me Lucifer! Let's get back on track, I spoke with Pops about how he obtained these SWEEEEEEET holders of the nectar of the Gods and he explained to me that Playboy kinda had a 'frequent customer' program and he and his buddy, who I am named after, went to several clubs including 'Bean Town' Boston, St. Louis and Chicago. Playboy rewarded customers who visited clubs around the country and they also rewarded them for buying certain drinks. My reaction to this was "How many drinks did you have to buy because these babies are SWEET and are pretty sturdy.... So when you said that you bought drinks, is that another way of saying "I bought drinks for the WHOLE club because I really wanted those glasses." And like my father can only say "No, you keep jumping to conclusions. All the Playboy Clubs offered the mugs with the purchase of certain drinks. Souvenir drink mugs!" So there ya go!!! Straight from the horse's mouth........

I have a story for ya so sit back and enjoy. "Four score and seven years ago" KIDDING! It wasn't that long ago... The truck, you know the one,

Well my baby has like 130K and while heading to the new Aldi, which is really nice, she started to stutter and misfire. When my grandpa passed away, I got his trimmer. The thing was pretty old and took leaded gas as well as an oil mixture. Well after practically 'throwing' out my arm trying to start the thing, I gave up BUT I had a gas can full of leaded gas and I wasn't sure what to do with it. SOOOOOO I emailed Mr. Michael J. Boike and he said "just put it into the truck and then add some new gas to it so it all mixes. It won't hurt anything. I do it all the time in all of my vehicles." So when the thing started to sputter and buck, I took it to the Ford dealer right down the road from me. When they called, I asked point blank if it was due to Boike TELLING me to put in that gas mixture and I was kinda disappointed that it WASN'T due to that. I sooooo wanted to blame him! So after doing my part in stimulating the local economy, I got my truck back in time to 1. Load it up with all the wood I would need to make a HUGE bon fire.

and other stuff for my brother's FREAKIN' 40th birthday!!! 40!!!!! MY GOD!

2. start cleaning up the back woods and burning all the CRAPPY little trees/ dead ones and burning them!!! FIRE RULES!!!!!

Ok so I really don't need the truck to do that BUT it is pretty cool to sit on the tail gait and watch the fire.

After, almost 5 years, I knew that one day I would have neighbors behind me. SO I finally am doing something about it, I have had help from Boxcar Willie, My friend Adam, Marvella, my chain saw, a sawz-all and a BITCHIN' fire that I have had going for the past two weeks. You see, when you live out in the 'country' you can do stuff like that without your neighbors calling the police and/or fire dept. on ya! To start it back up all ya need is:

• A leaf blower your pops gave you BACK IN THE DAY!
• Find the 'hot coals' and just add forced air from the blower and some small sticks that you have an abundance of and let it RIDE!

As if I didn't spend enough on the truck, I also installed a new radio because that 'crapped' out on me too!!!!! WHAT THE!?!?!?!?!? I guess when you drive a Honda you expect things to ALWAYS work, no matter how many miles....

This is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to get on my soap box! I have been accused of being cheap on my use of money. I believe in living below your means so when stuff does happen it's not like "QUICK! HIT THE PANIC BUTTON BECAUSE THE CAR NEEDS REPAIRS AND WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO FIX THEM!".... I like just shrugging my shoulders and saying "the truck needs some work so I guess I'll need to dip in the 'rainy day fund' and get it fixed. No biggie". Cash is the way to go folks! I liken credit card companies to the evil empire in Star Wars! There ya go! I just gave ya the same advise your grandma would with one exception! I kept my teeth in! HA!!!!! Alright, so that last line I took from this guy, who I feel is RIGHT!

Let's see!?!?! What else is going on at casa de McBride!?!?! OH YEAH! The bitchin' CHOPS are back for a limited time only!!! I started growing them for Gold Cup up in VA.....

I was asked to have them in full force when I get up there by one freakin' person! That's enough of an excuse for me to grow them. I have found that 99.9% of all FEMALES hate them and they have no problem telling me how they feel about them... Most guys love them and I have a theory on this, which means it is not FACT so don't email me and tell me that I am not telling the truth, they live vicariously through me because I DO NOT have a wife or girlfriend telling me what to do. This is what I have observed over the years! AGAIN!!! THIS IS NOT FACT!

It's the RETRO edition so put your bell bottoms on and sit back in your love chair and enjoy my blog while sipping on a TAB.

Let's start out with some dishes my Aunt Cece hooked me up with! They are from her wedding back in 1975! She married the singer of Three Dog Night!!!!!

Right Dougy!?!? HA!!!!! They have remained in the boxes that she packed them in for the past 1/2 of a year BUT I recently started putting them in 'whatever' you call it.... China cabinet right!?!?

I know what you are thinking "DUDE!!!! Is that a dining room set? JUDAS PRIEST ON A UNICYCLE! That's kinda weird." I feel the same way, Let me ask you. What straight, single man has a full dining room set!?!?!? Not too many right!?! To clear the air, this is from mom and dad's house when they lived in California, matter fact, I say 98% of the stuff in my house are hand-me-downs AND I am also stating for the record that I am very 'straight' MMMMMMM WOMEN!!! All those curves and no stop signs!!!! WOO HOO!!!! HEY!!!! That's what we call in the 'radio business' a great segway!


I don't think I have called my house the PLAYBOY MANSION of Lancaster county on here but I'm pretty sure I have referred to it like that to most people that I have spoken to, either way, I have PROOF that I should be lounging in a robe smoking a pipe!!!!

OW LA LA!!!!! You are looking at some GENUINE artifacts from the past that helped shape our civilization. I honestly forgot I had them and the other day I opened a cabinet that I hardly ever use and they were staring at me like the money you could be saving if you switch your auto insurance to Geico. How did I get them you ask?? Glad you asked, The year was 1966 I believe and a young and eager Ronald McBride just graduated from the prestigious Heidelberg College in some really, really, really small town in Ohio!!! Their mascot was the 'student princes'. WHOW?!?!?! HELLO NERDVILLE!



Anyways, the Playboy Club was 'WHERE IT'S AT' and he joined it..... If he's anything like my older brother, he bought these mugs because they were shiny..... Now pops, I don't know the exact story but I'm suspecting I'm pretty accurate... Am I right? One of the mugs needed some minor repairs because it leaked... FOR GOD SAKES MAN, can't be wasting beer! Talk about blasphemy! SOOOOOOOOO! With some Hysol epoxy circa 1976 that I had and some mad RED NECK engineering skills that I obtained through years of study, I went to work.

WOW!?!?! Did you notice the same thing I did when I saw the pictures? I have really hairy fore arms!!!!! I need to trim them up or some thing so I don't look like a neanderthal. After some minor repairs, I am happy to report that it does not leak and I can enjoy some nectar of the GODS, beer, while I am watching, DARE I SAY, the best show EVER 'Miami Vice' on my computer! MMMMMMM!!!!!! BEER and watching Crockett and Tubbs clean up the streets of Miami!!! Don't get much better than that!

What else!?!?! OH YEAH!!!!!! Charlie came down the other weekend to help me gather some wood and I proceeded to instruct him on how to make a bon fire! That's just what all 5 year olds need to know right? "Now Charlie, Promise me that you won't use this info to burn your house down, your mom and dad will kill me!" After that I let him play with all my Legos that I and my good friend Mark played with like 25 years ago!!!


Andy's going to go 'serious' on ya for a few ok? LIKE THAT!?!?! I just busted out the 3rd person!!!! If y'all have meet me or read the stuff I put on here, you kinda think that I am a very immature and a shallow S.O.B and I'll be the first to say that I do a pretty good job of portraying AND maintaining that image BUT. I do have emotions for what other people are going through. Which brings me to my friend Felicia. She just had a baby, not even a month ago, and the poor little guy got whooping cough and is now up in the big nursery up in the sky. Losing your baby is something that you NEVER get over for as long as you are on this Earth. So the next time you're bitchin' about some stuff in your personal/work life just remember that their are people out there that are worse off than you.

OK! Back to your regularly scheduled program.... Sooooooooooooo what did we learn for this entry?

1. that "Jeremiah was a bullfrog and was a good friend of mine."
2. some nice Playboy mugs NEVER go out of style
3. 5 year olds should learn how to set really big fires, KRIPES!, what's it gonna hurt?
   
4. EVERY kid loves Legos
5. And finally, there's someone out there in the world that has it worse then you so stop your complainin'.
   

And to end this entry, I would like to thank Mike T., Julie D., Kaye F., Todd B., Elise M., AND FINALLY MY BROTHER for being followers of my blog! I feel 'complete' now. OH AND ALSO! I want to give a 'SHOUT OUT' to my cousin for putting down the beer and cigarette long enough to supplying me with a picture of her parent's Cece and Doug's wedding day.