Andy

2012-02-02T06:36:00.000-05:00

So the journey begins in 1987... I was a MEASLY little 7th grader and Mike, my older brother was in 11th. Much to my mom's 'disappointment', He started hanging out with Dave. You see, Mom taught CCD (Religion) and Dave was to put it lightly 'disruptive'... I remember her coming talking about this kid named Dave who was a HELLION! Where was I?? OH YEAH!!! So my brother starting hanging out with Dave and he and others older kids like Todd Hopkins started to allow me to hang out with them. I think it was a ‘Let’s try to corrupt Mike’s little brother to really RILE UP Mrs. McBride who they affectingly called ‘Catholic Kate’!!! HA!!! I still use that name, just check out my blog (http://raspix.blogspot.com) and it’s plastered all over it when I talk about my mom. Hanging out with the OLDER KIDS was great!!! I was a COOL kid because I HUNG OUT WITH OLDER, COOL, ONES!!!! He and the others taught me the finer things in life like how to tap a keg, how to properly pour a beer without a ton of foam, using the grease from your nose to reduce the foam if it had a lot of it. My musical horizons were broadened!! I can’t tell you how much I listened to Van Halen’s 5150!!!!!! Him and Todd ALWAYS had new music and would let me listen to it so I could soak it in. KRIPES! How many of you out there know that a band called Hurricane was the opening act for Stryper because they were on the same label???? I know that stuff because of DAVE!!!!! I was like a sponge and absorbed everything he said and did!!! They ALWAYS asked if I wanted to go see bands up in Buffalo on A BUS THEY RENTED!! Let me say that again, AN EFFing BUS they rented!!!!!!! They took me to an all day festival up at the university of Buffalo, I saw Living Colour before anyone ever heard of them and I got to see the Ramones!!!! How cool is that! Again, I want to remind you that I was only in 8th grade when all this was going on…. How great of a story it is that I, ANDY McBride, can tell people that I was a passenger on a bus they rented to go see the MONSTERS OF ROCK (Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken, Metallica and Kingdom Come) TOUR at Rich Stadium!?!?!?!?!?!? Oh and FYI, that would go over like a fart in church these days!!! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! And let’s NOT FORGET about, dare I say, the BEST party EVER on 10-23-87! You remember stuff like births, weddings, touching a bare breast for the first time AND DAVE’S PARTY!!!! MY GOD! So many memories!!!! Dustin (RIP) taking my friend Mark Singer and Billy Miller around and looking for ‘skully’!!!!! Getting so drunk that Dustin and Dan Brill had to get us and sober us up so we could make it home…. When I moved to Charlotte in the summer of 88, I was scared out of my mind BUT I adjusted well thanks to the lessons that Dave taught me. KRIPES!!!! I was an EFFING GOD because I listened to cool music that Dave listened to and I knew what was needed to throw a sweet KEGGER!!!! ALL BECAUSE of what Dave and Co. taught me!!!!!

I know there are TONS of other memories I am forgetting about and NO ONE has proofread this so there might be some misspelled words and grammatical errors BUT I just started typing what came to my mind!!! I’m gonna miss BUCKO!!!!!

2012-02-01T02:30:00.282-05:00

DON'T BE STUPID!

Did I get your attention? This is a PSA for the 3 people that read this: my mom, Mandy and Blake.

If you:

Own a house.
Your appraised value is more than what you owe (use this site to get a 'ballpark' figure)
You have a decent FICA score (AGAIN use this site to get a 'ballpark' figure)

YOU ARE A STUPID person if you don't refinance your house!!! Yeah I called ya stupid!!!!! Y'all rates for a 30 year mortgage are at 3.9%!!!!!! 3.9%!!!!! AND don't get me started about a rate on a 15 year loan, I might take all of my clothes off and run up and down my street because I get sooooooo excited!!!! Go ahead and ask your parents what their interest rate was when they bought the house you grew up in. I know Big Ron and Catholic Kate's interest rate for the house in A-TOWN (Allegany, NY) was 8.5% and they thought that was a bargain!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because I know the 3 of you reading this are DYING to know, I refinanced to a 3.375%/15 year!!!! CRAZY! WE WILL NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN FOLKS! OH AND don't assume that I got that because I work for a mortgage company and I get a discount. I refinanced with ANOTHER company so QUIT ASSUMING!!!! GEEZ!!!! Didn't your parents teach you NOT to assume!?!?!?!?!? AND! I might sound like Bob McBride, my grandpa, when I say this:

K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid) Don't do one of those CRAZY @$$ loans like an arm or an 'interest only' or a FREAKIN' balloon loan!!! 30 or 15 year/ FIXED RATE mortgage!! ARM = GAMBLING and TRUST ME!!! 9 out of 10 times YOU WILL LOSE!!!!!! Don't let the 'DOOM AND GLOOM' news tell you that it's ALL BAD especially in L-TOWN! It's NOT!!!! GOOD GOD!?!?! Where do they find these 'people' for their articles anyway??? As for y'all in places of the country where the housing market is, well, NOT so good. Hang in there and as that CRAPPY band Journey would say "Don't stop believing"..... Sure things aren't good now BUT it will get better because 'we have been there, done that, got the t-shirt' before.

In my tiling 'fetish', I used the tile that my aunt AND God mother Nancy and my uncle Bill gave me in the closet and ripped out the carpet in there and tiled the floor. It's AMERICAN OLEAN TILE and growing up I totally remember living pretty close to the factory.

Oh and FYI, just because I feel pretty sure about myself and my tiling skills DOESN'T mean I want to help ya do one of your rooms!! You see, if I screw up something it's MY house and I can take my time and correct the situation! With yours, I would feel terrible and upset if something went wrong and had to be corrected so I choose just to do stuff to casa de McBride...
I took a break for my routine of getting up, working out, going to my job, tiling something, scanning ALL of Mary Cawley's pictures then bed and went up to Virginia and spent a weekend with Boike and his (HOT AS FIRE) wife Mese at their farm. Time consisted of drinking beer,

them showing me the site of their future house that will be constructed when Rio hosts the summer Olympics in 2016, discussing the finer points of the Dukes of Hazard and Knight Rider, SKANKS we knew in the past, worked on some fencing,

picked some rocks that I will use for a future project and getting some TILE,YES I SAID TILE at an estate sale, THREE BOXES for $1!!!!! WOO HOO!!! Let me delve into this a little more OKIE DOKIE? One day we were coming home from getting some, YUMMY IN MY TUMMY, breakfast at The Frost Diner and we saw a 'garage sale' sign. We dropped off Mese and then went back to check it out. First off, it wasn't a garage sale but a 'whatever you see in the house can be yours for the right price'. PEOPLE!?!?!? Have you ever seen 'Hoarders'??? This place was 100 times worse than anything on that show! There were paths to walk because there was so much stuff! It was NASTY too! Like animal CRAP and that musty smell like the same spell ya get when .................. Well I won't finish that sentence because my mom reads this but you get the idea. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT WAS NASTY! So much so I had to take a shower after we walked threw it. Where was I??? OH YEAH, so Boike nudges me and points at a painting, I said (in a very immature and Beavis and Butthead way) "HA!! That's a naked chick!" The old guy that was walking through all the junk said "that's an old Playboy model from the 60's that my buddy painted for me." It was a WIN/WIN situation because it kinda looked like a girl I know and it would look SWEET in my kitchen!!! BUT! It was all moldy and had some water damage! SON OF A! So I settled for the boxes of tile.... Oh did I mention that we drank some beer (NOT JUST ANY BEER but Consumer Reports best beer of 2011) BIG FLATS BEER!!!! Or as my friend Dustin would call it, BIG TATAS beer!!!! Now it has received some, not so glorifying reviews, BUT so does PBR and that stuff is the NECTAR OF THE GODS!!!!

AND then Mese went into detail about HOW HOT SHE IS and how simpletons like Boike and I should bow to her!!!

RIP DAVE!!!!!!

That's all I got for ya this month! See you next month at the same BAT-time, same BAT-channel and remember to STAY THIRSTY MY FRIENDS!!!

2012-01-02T01:00:00.078-05:00

Here's hoping that you had a groovy Christmas and New Years!

I'm STILL a bit tired from my 36 hour world wind tour that took me 12 hours up to NY and then back to SC BUT I'll suck it up for you BECAUSE frankly, THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!!!! So I know you will ask me being that I sparked your curiosity with the last sentence. I have been planning for a year to head up to Casa de Singer in A-TOWN (Allegany) New York and spend Christmas Eve with Gary and Barb Singer. I only told their two sons so it was a surprise to Gary and Barb to see me.

It's the simple things FOLKS!!! Drinking beer with an old friend in their garage is what it's ALL about!!! This right here makes 12 hours in a car WORTH IT!!!!! As you read along, you will know it was kind of an emotional trip for me. I also hung out for a while with Lynda and Steve Kockler. Mom and Lynda have been friends FOREVER as this pictorial proof will show.

This was my mom's bridal shower in 1969. Their son Jimmy and his family were there too. He graduated with my brother and works at the Pentagon. Doing what you ask? Well he could tell ya BUT he would then have to kill ya. So it's best if you don't ask... ANYWAYS!!!! I think that was the first time I have seen him in 18 years!!! GOOD GOD!!!!

I also made Steve a little thing to show how much I appreciate him and all the stuff he and Lynda have done for me over the years.

It's a night light consisting of an LED light and an old glass insulator from the telephone poles that ran along the R.R. Sure it might be GEEKY but it's something I know he would like. He loves TRAIN'S as much as I do.. That's not the ONLY arts and crafts going on at casa de McBride! I made a few cluster pictures consisting of old hockey, baseball and football cards...

$10 dollar frames at Big Lots!!!! WOO HOO!!! Oh and if you were wondering, the manager John knows who I am and greets me every time I am in there!!!!!! Saving $ and GREAT customer service! What more can I ask for!?!?!?!?

Christmas day I went to my aunt and uncle's house where she proceeded to give me a check for $300!!! All of the other cousin's got that too RIGHT!?!?!?! HA!!!!! But seriously, SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME THAT but she did make my uncle Bill give me a bunch of stuff that was CLUTTERING up the basement, like this SWEET @$$ PBR poster

and a bunch of tile that they didn't use when they expanded their house..... American-Olean Tile!!!! ONLY THE BEST FOR A SNOB like me!!!

I would show you that I used it for my closet floor BUT I ran out of tile mortar and I couldn't get anymore because Home Depot closed early!! WHAT THE!!! They act like it was New Years Eve or something! Oh it was, NEVER MIND!!! So the unveiling will have to wait until next month's entry. Where was I? Oh yeah, I then went to my aunt's house that was my grandpa and grandma Cawley's house. It was the first time I had been in that house since Grandpa passed away in 2003.I practically grew up in that house!!!

This was Mike (my brother) and I in 1975.I got some KICKIN' heart burn from some YUMMY IN MY TUMMY chicken wing dip that my cousin's girlfriend Susie made!!! But that's why they make TUMS!!!!! Besides the BITCHIN' heartburn, the trip was WELL worth it and I would do it again because it made a lot of people very happy and that, my friends, MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT!!!

Remember 2011 is now 2012 or as I would like to say, same $#!+, different toilet! Have a good one and talk to ya next month.....

2011-12-15T18:45:00.082-05:00

PROJECT: CAWLEY PHOTOS!

These are all the pictures I took when Grandpa passed away in 2003. I put captions on the ones that grandma wrote on the back of the photo. If a caption is missing and you know who it is then feel free to email if you know who is in the picture and I will put it in there for the W.W.W to see..... This is an ONGOING project so I will add more pictures each night or so. GOOD LORD Grandma took a TON of pictures!!!!! Dare I say, Japanese tourist= Grandma Cawley!!!!! Why am I doing this!?!?!? I was inspired to do this after witnessing my mother and her sister's 'NOT SO GOOD' attempt to scan the pictures that Cece had...... GOOD LORD!!! Ladies over 60's TRYING to be tech-savy!! NOT GOOD!!!

Stricklers House South Bend, IN

June Strickler +Bob Cawley

Cawleys +Stricklers LakeMichigan

Sarah Strickler at the lake

Faye Slavin + Mary Cawley (Katie and Ron's wedding)

Mary+Bob Cawley (Katie's wedding 2/15/69)

Shower for Katie at Peg Guinnip's. Mary Cawley, Pat Davis, Peg Guinnip, Suzanne Torre, Peg Bednar, Harriet Parmeter

Shower for Katie at Peg's Nancy Cawley, Barbara Cawley, Katie, Clara Stilson

Ron + Katie 2/15/69 (Tom Cawley + Steve Kockler in the background)

Katie + Ron McBride Cece Cawley, Andy Ranpulla

Cece+ Michael +Matt+ Norene Ferris March 7, 1971

Micheal + Tony 1st Birthday

Michael + Katie 1st birthday March 7, 1971

Patrick's 9th birthday Sept 12, 1970

Katie's 24th birthday Jan, 1 1971

Cece, Patrick, Michael + Matt Ferris 1st birthday 3/7/71

Pat and Mike Christmas 1970

Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy and Kevin

30th Anniversary Jan 27, 1975

Katie and Robert Andrew 1973

Michael 1970

Michael and Matt Ferris 1970

Kevin's 17th birthday Feb 14, 1971

Kevin, Michael, Pat, Nancy, Katie 1971

Stricklers + Cawleys

Jamie and Kevin's Wedding Sept 19, 1970 Kevin Cawley, Steve Yehl, Jerome Wolcott, Patrick Cawley, John Lyons, Joe Wolcott, Dad and Rosamond

Cece

Cece + Kevin Schaffner Cawley

Bob Cawley, Bob Strickler, Martha Strickler 1958

Dad and Michael 1970

Patrick and Michael 1970

Cece + Michael + Kevin 1970

Mom, Nancy, Patrick, Michael Oct 1970

Katie feeding Michael + Aunt Cece 1970

Patrick + John Sherwood 1970

Christmas 1953

Patrick

Christine (2 years old) and Jennifer (6 months) Dec. 1971

Nancy + Kevin

Cece + Patrick Spring 1962

Cece + Pat + Nancy + Lorrie Sept 1963

Thanksgiving day at Mom and Dad Ebert's Christine Cawley 16 days old

Christine Louise Cawley Nov. 1970 Age one

Katie, Nancy + Pat 1965

Mike McBride Christmas 1970

Michael McBride Christmas 1970

Shower For Katie at Bonnie Brinnier's

Tom, Ellen, Jayne, Katie 1952

Patrick, Kevin, Hugh McD + Muggins 1965

Mom (Our old red barn behind her)

Mom and Dad , Katie Rehearsal Dinner before Kevin and Sandy's wedding 11/1977

Mary Nuttall, Eileen Rehler, Virginia Crahen, Celestine McLoughlin, Eunice Schill Roth, Mary Jane Heenan, Jane Seitler, Gen Nenno: Class of 1938

Mom, Nancy, Kevin 1954

Mary, mom, Mark 1960

Dad, Cece, Katie in front of Griffith house 1949

Mary Parmeter 1942

Nancy and Jim Margeson 1973

Cece & Andy McBride 1975

Kevin & Lance Shaner 1956

Cece + Katie Wellsville St. 1949

Mike, Andy, Martin, Ben (Aug 1978 @ Aunt Cece's house)

Mary + Bob Cawley (Cece + Doug Root's wedding 1975)

The Cawley Children Cece, Katie, Nancy, Tommy, Pat, and Kevin 1965

My 3 Grandson's: Mike, Andy and Marty (Nov. 1975)

Cece, Aunt Kay, Grandma, Baby Paul?

Robert Joseph Cawley

Faye

Cece 1961

Tom, Pat and Dad

Bob and Mary Cawley 1980's?

Tom Cawley and Ron McBride Doug and Cece's wedding 1975

Dad and Tom 1949

Katie Cawley 1952

Kamp 1988

Dad & Tommy in Eldred Summer 1949

Andy & Mike McBride 1975

Cece + Dennis Haught Jr- Sr. Prom 1964

Katie + Cece 1967

John Messer +Peg Richardson Hilltop

Peg Richardson and Mary. Cuba,NY

House on Plum St. 1940's

Ron &Kate McBride Oct 1971

Pat, Katie, Cece, Dad Spring 1965

Mom's birthday @ Joe's in April of 1957

The Cawley Gals 1972

The Parmeters Family 1938 'I received my fur coat for Christmas, My freshman year at Mercyhurst.

Bob Cawley

Katie, Clara Stilson, Mary Cawley Christmas 1970

Notre Dame Stadium Dad, June, Bob, Cece

Katie & Ron McBride, Cece Cawley, Nancy Cawley, Bonnie B.
Feb 1969

Mary and Bob Cawley 1966

Winter in our back lawn 1970

Faye, Paul, Catherine, Mary. Easter 1965

Dad, Cece, Katie, Pat 1965
Oh and I have NO idea what's on my mom's coat!

Mama, Faye, Joe?, Mark? Catherine, Baby Mary 1921

Mom and Dad, Barbara L?, Jane Wallen, Mary, Jake G?, Catherine, Preston, J Detzel?, Ted Franz. July 4th 1942

Dad, Pat, Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy, Kevin Easter 1963

Back Yard Fall 1986

Bobby, Kenny, Joe, Dick, Tommy 1950

Grandmother and Grandfather Cawley at home in Eldred

Bob and Mary Cawley 1980

Katie and Cece 1949

Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy 1953

Grandpa Cawley and Andy 1973

Mom and Dad, Ron, Mike Oct 1970

Pat, Vicki, Jenny Christmas 1981

Margaret Cawley Wolcott

CAWLEY REUNION + PICNIC @ SHAAFFNER'S CAMP

NO DATE GIVEN

Lois Loop, Mary Hughes Cawley, Rosamond Cawley, Leanna McDermott, Eva Eberl

Mary Hughes Cawley, Bob Cawley, Hobby Cawley, Margaret Cawley Wolcott

IN THE BACKGROUND

Jody Wilcott, Becky Cawley, Katie Cawley

Cece, Katie+ Pauline Tierock's 2 girls

Joan Cawley Emerson, Leona McDermott Cece, Katie + Pauline Tierock's girls

Bernard Cawley, Margaret Cawley Wolcott, Bob Cawley, Joe Wolcott, Randall Cawley, Terry Cawley, Jay Appleby, Jim Cawley (Lying down)

Bob, Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy, Kevin, Dick & Joan Emerson, Jamie Cawley (IN BUFFALO)

Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy Cawley

Katie and Ron's wedding day, the Cawley family Nancy, Kevin, Cece, Bob, Katie, Tom, Pat, Mary

HA!!!! TAPE (Helping keep your glasses together since Feb 15, 1969!!!!)

Bobby Cawley

Mary Parmeter

Bobby Cawley

Alice Edger?? 1939

Suzanne, Nancy, Bill Slavin Spring 1945

Bob Cawley, John Pyle: Mansfield

Cece in Linda Blisse's side lawn

Mom + Tommy 1949

Bobby, Cece, Katie, Tom, Nancy: Summer 1953

Kevin and Sandy's wedding 1977

Giffith house on Wellsville St.: Cece and Katie 1950

Suzanne and Ron McBride

2011-12-01T01:00:00.080-05:00

DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M A 'THINKING MAN'!

It's ART & CRAFTSPALOOZA at casa de McBride! What do you get when you combine old stuff you have collected over the years, spare parts that you have in your garage, a coffee table with a glass top and some MAD 'redneck skills'?????? A SWEET @$$ coffee table that's what!!!!!!!!

The only thing missing is Kramer's coffee table book about coffee tables... I also constructed some 'other' stuff BUT that's as much as I can say because I plan on giving it to some people for Christmas.......

Speaking of the BIG GUY's BIRTH, wanna see all of my decorating??? DON'T BLINK CAUSE YA MIGHT MISS IT!!!!!!

HA!!!!!! It consists of a wreath on the door a ceramic tree and this YEAR a new edition! A Christmas tree I found while cleaning out a closet.

Not much else is afoot at Casa De McBride, I tend to hibernate during the late fall and winter..... MMMMMMMMMMM my couch!!!!! Where was I?!?!?!?! OH YEAH, I hope everyone was like me and ate WAY TOO MUCH turkey on 'GOBBLE GOBBLE DAY' (Thanksgiving) and then relaxed by a fire that your little nephews and cousins helped ya build!

I won't be talkin' to ya until January so I wanna wish all of you a FELIZ NAVIDAD
and as always WISH all the people that say they 'LOVE MY BLOG' but haven't acually read it, MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS!!!!

Oh and I want you to consider this my Christmas card to you! 95% of them include a letter telling you all that has happend in the last year. If ya want to know what I've been doing the last year click here!

How easy was that????? Just click on the link and WAA LAA, All the info you EVER wanted to know!!!!!! Sorry this is so short but I have a deadline to meet! I gotta send it to Amanda, my proofreader, so she can look it over and 'suggest' any corrections so I can post it by Dec 1st. Keep it real and DON'T be FAKE!!!!!

2011-11-01T02:00:00.000-05:00

The STEPS PART DEUX

If you (actually read my blog) last month, you knew that I caught a nasty head cold and didn't finish them.Well I did MORE but I didn't finish them and the more you read, the more you will know why. Now the 'Andy homeowner tip # 144': A little pressure washer (1600 PSI) is a MUST!! It's great for cleaning and other stuff.....

I would like to thank Gary Singer for showing me how to prep a surface before you paint it. Cars/steps, same thing right?? And this is all I have done.....

I STILL need to get wood for the steps and put the railings back BUT I haven't and this is why, FIRST OFF, this is a great example of cause/effect...
Here we go, READY?? The saga began when I had to have my roof replaced in the summer, I have a truck full of old roofing, I live not too far from a dump/recycling center. WELL!!! One of the attendants (I affectionately call him 'SMOKE STACK' because he is quite the smoker) there told me that as long as I only unload a 'wheel barrel' of shingles that they are cool with it. SOOOOOOOO every time I went to the dump I unload some shingles. I'm in no rush, KRIPES! They are in the back of a truck I HARDLY drive.... WHOOPY RIGHT!?!?!?!

Well a few weeks ago another attendant who is freakin Wilford Brimley's twin!!! Yell's at me "HEY WE DON'T ACCEPT ROOFING SHINGLES AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, EAT YOUR OATMEAL"!!! Kidding about the oatmeal part. After a HEATED exchange of words, I STILL have a load of CRAPPY shingles. SOOOOOOOOOO, Plan 'B' consists of me HOPING the truck (the fuel pump is about to stop working) can go about 15 miles to the Mecklenburg County one and PAY to have it all dumped out! SON OF A!! I HATE spending money! So to recap, the steps are not done because:

I can't get the wood until I empty out the shingles
The dump is only open when I am at work
The fuel pump on the truck is about to stop working.
Not liking the whole 'SPENDING $' thing.

Yeap, I'm sooooooooooooooooo dragging my feet on this BUT there are other things going on too... LIKE:

No I ain't dying, quit being so morbid, but I cleaned out a closet and found quite a few items that I have kept for years. Mostly NASCAR, stuff from when I worked in radio, beer advertisements and other goodies. Some of it I just put back in the closet, gave to friends, took to the metal scrap yard for $ (That's what HICKS do) or put on Craig's List.

Hey, I have about 6 of these Richard Petty posters and if ya want one then I will send it to you. KRIPES! I might even frame it for ya! Big Lots has frames on sale this week!!! WOO HOO!!!

Here's the rules:

I MUST like you!
You pay for shipping and handling.
You answer: what TV show and episode was Randy Watson the police officer in?

I added to my 'Anne Conroy-Baiter' collection, I bought a painting of hers a couple years ago and I just got this one.

I asked her if she had any 'dogs playing poker' and I am sure she rolled her eyes when telling me "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO." So I went with 'option 2', it's Main St. in Allegany, NY. My cousin Jeff Margeson is an artist too and is painting a self portrait of him in a clown suit! I sooooooooo cannot wait to put that up..... Not sure which room I'll put it in yet......

AND now the continuing saga of 'I might be a red neck but I don't want the inside of my house to look like I am one'. There is UMMMMM not sure what you call it but it's a closet right above the air conditioning/ heat inlet and it needed some fixing up. This is due to when they built the house they put a freakin' door knob on it. As a former co worker, she is putting the final touches on the apocalypses, would say "this was UNACCEPTABLE and needed to be corrected right away!!!!" So with some paint my brother gave me, an extra handle and some caulk I bought from Big Lots, I got the JOB done!!! What do you think??

So if you, I know ya are, asking yourself "where in the 'WIDE WORLD of SPORTS' does Andy get his ideas of saving money?" WELL I give you 'exhibit 'D': this is my aunt Nancy and my uncle Jim. To save money, probably because they didn't have any, she wore my mom's wedding dress and their FREAKIN' reception was at my grandpa and grandma's house!!! HA!!! They cut their wedding cake on my grandma's kitchen table!!!! Oh and FYI, it's still there....

This is BY FAR is one of the best pictures EVER!!!!!! AND If you were wondering, this was back in 1973 and they were married until Jimmy left us in 2000 and produced 3 kids, 2 out of the 3 are good guys, the third well you decide!?!?!?!..... So the moral of the story is spending 'CHO CHO for CO CO PUFFS' amounts of $ for a wedding does NOT mean it will assure you a long one.......

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO delayed in this BUT I got some new neighbors. They moved in June. YEAP way delayed I know. After being told 6 years ago from Greg and Donna, the previous owners "we are going to put up our house for sale." They did it this previous summer and it sold. I haven't met them but I'm betting that he likes to drink beer just like I do so I'm pretty sure we will get along just fine.

Let's see, what else happened?? OH! My wild and wacky sister-in-law AND THE BEST ONE EVVVVVVVVER turned ummmmmmmmmmmmmm 26... When I say 26 I mean 40! WOO HOO!!! Mike, my brother, had a party for her. I was invited because they had to fill the RED NECK quota and my brother knew that I would GLADLY take the leftover beer. I went wearing my SWEET overalls so Mike and Liz's friends would say "OMG! Who's that simpleton in the overalls?" and Mike would have to say as he rolls his eyes, 'That's Andy my brother."

That's all for this month and I'm sorry if there are misspelled words or HUGE grammatical errors but my proof reader was not available. Probably because she was busy getting her kids ready to 'trick or treat'.

2011-10-01T00:00:00.105-05:00

POP'S 'STRESS LEVEL'

There are not too many things I am good at but RILING UP my father is something I EXCEL at! A great example of this is 'project front porch'. Let's set it up shall we: The front porch needed to be painted and a few other things so about 5 months ago I started 'prepping' it by taking a pressure washer to it and started stripping the old paint.

AGAIN! I am NEVER in a rush to do anything…… My thinking is, ‘It will it get done, It may not be today or tomorrow but, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, it will get done…..’ OK back to the story, So one day when we were all at casa de PAPA/MAMA McBride, my brother, who’s never had an item that he hasn’t TRIED to give to someone, mentioned that the workers left a couple 5 gallon buckets of white paint from when he had a CHUCK E CHEESE put in his house and if I wanted them…..

I think my exact words were “H to the E to the double L YEAH!”. Ya gotta spell certain words out when there are ‘little ears’ around. I thought, I can use it to paint my front porch. At the same time I was feeling GIGGITY because of my SCORE, Pops pipes up and asks if it’s 'exterior' or ‘interior’. My brother says, “I think it is interior”

and Pops says “Then Andrew, you can’t use it on your porch.” And my reaction was, “KRIPES! If it’s free then I’ll MAKE it work on my porch!” This caused my father to look at me in disgust and say “ANDREW, NO YOU CAN’T USE IT!” and a few choice words were in that statement as well. My mother get’s in to it and says “Now Ron, It’s Andy’s house, he can do what he wants to it. Pop’s quit arguing and went back to eating some SWINE, Mom made YUMMY pork loin. I and the rest of the folks at the dinner table were witness to a ‘tactic’ that has been in force since Feb of 1969,

where pops will get riled up and mom will say something to relieve the stress of the situation and he will go back to what he was doing……. Ain’t gonna lie to ya, I have been well aware of this for the past 38 years and I have used it to my advantage a time or two.

Back to the porch, I went and picked up the paint at Casa de Mike and Liz McBride and ONE of the 5 gallon bucket was for INTERIOR and the other, well I'll let the picture do the talking.

I immediately email pops and told him that he can calm down now because it's for EXTERIOR use.... I think this lowered his blood pressure to 'normal' for a 60+ year old man.

So each evening I paint a section while listening to the 1600 songs I have on my iTouch and eat sunflower seeds..... They are YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!

Oh and FYI, in some of the pictures you may have noticed some paint on the brinks. Let it be known that it was not me! That is from when someone, who shall remain nameless, painted them when I first bought the house 6 years ago.

I'm sure you also noticed how bad the steps were. KRIPES! I couldn't walk barefoot on them because they were full of splinters and the nails were sticking up.The poor things were NEVER treated before I bought the house, there were NO gutters so water just poured off the roof on them and beat the poor little things to death..... I want to apologize to you because I got a DANG head cold the last week of Sept. and to be honest with ya, the LAST thing I was thinking about was working on the steps to my porch..... My days pretty much consisted of going to work and then coming home and taking a shot of NyQuil and passing out...... So the steps look like this....

HA!!!!!!!!!! You can soooooooooooooo see where the gutter is bent up pretty bad, that was a result from me falling off my roof! I will tell you that little story some other time! OH AND don't worry, I just suffered a few bruises and an equally bruised ego!!!
LET'S SEE, What else happened?!?!?! OH YEAH! My carpet had become 'loose', like that CERTAIN girl in high school that we ALL KNEW about, in some areas and the company that originally installed it came out and tightened it up for, WAIT FOR IT................... FREE!!!!! I like that PRICE!!!!!!

AND!!! If ya thought I was a FULL FLEDGED REDNECK from L-TOWN (Lancaster), I'm about to give you some more proof.... One of the tires on my car was always loosing air, YEAH! I check the air pressure weekly! Can you say 'ANAL'!?!?!?! Anyways, I have the tools to jack up the car and take off a tire find the leak and plug the hole...... SEE I told you I'm a redneck! I then threw in a DIP and drank a BUDWEISER in my driveway, Did I mention I had my shirt off too?

That's all I got for ya this month, Fly low and beat the radar......

2011-09-01T03:00:00.118-05:00

Being that it's been 10 years (9/9/01) since my little stint in WI., I decided to repost this for ya, If you've already read it when I posted it last year then I will need ya to put on your 'BIG BOY britches' and suck it up until next month when I promise I'll have a new entry for ya, CROSS MY HEART! I did add some BONUS info (it's in red). I'm like an old CD ya had when you where a kid except it has bonus features! HA Remember when 'BONUS tracks' meant, CRAP not good enough for the album?????

Sorry y'all but I haven't done too much to casa de McBride this month due to having been stricken with S.A.R.S/swine flu/malaria with a little touch of scurvy... Which in turn, caused me NOT to stretch and work out every morning. The result- a pulled muscle in my back AND tearing a tendon in my hand trying to overcompensate for NOT being able move around. Plus being told by a fine young lady up in WI. that WYLIE,

~~a pupper that I thought more of then most people on this Earth, is now playing in the big playground up in the sky.~~ So there won't be any pictures of the stuff I have done to the house. So if you're just in it for the pictures, well come back next month because I feel like typing some stuff that I have NEVER said nor will I mention again. I usually have to be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, drunk to talk about WI. but I'll make an exception to the rule on this one. YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I figure that with her gone, a chapter in my life is now closed. Plus I want to type it so I can remember it when I'm in the nursing home. FIRST OFF! It was OUR decision to move up there. I just quit a job that SUCKED ( I was SOOOOOO going to put the former employer's site on here BUT I really don't want to be sued), I only lasted there 6 months before I had enough. I think we needed a 'change' and moving someplace would help achieve that. She was from West Bend, WI and, again WE, decided to move up there. So with the help of her brother Dan and their dad, we packed up a U haul and away we went. I was well established in Charlotte and it was vise verse up there. The dynamics changed because she was born and raised there and had a circle of friends and a core family. I remember that it was a very hard place to get a job because, let's face it, WI. is not the most GROWING economy in the USA. With in a month of us moving up there I landed a job I KNOW I was over qualified for but hey! It was a freakin' job. It was a 2nd shift job in a print company. HA!!!!! I sooooooo remember going to the bathroom and taking a nice long nap in one of the stalls because I was so bored..... SLEEPING on the MAN'S WATCH!!!! Another CLAIM OF FAME of mine is that I got this lady FIRED and told her "Darlin' when YOU realize that YOU are just like us, JACK S@#T then we ALL all will be better off"! Don't say YOU have NEVER wanted to say that to someone. I also helped out her dad on a few of his jobs, he was a contractor and he taught me some cool stuff that I STILL utilize today. She worked at Chilis in Milwaukee for a little bit but eventually worked for her mom at a mail/shipping place. It was a very cool set up and it was a very friendly and a family atmosphere. Her brother worked there too and he had a SWEET German Sheppard, Greta and Mary had Wylie. They were part of the Mail Drop. Customers loved seeing, petting and giving treats to them..... We lived with her dad, Peachy, in his HUGE house, It had its challenges but in all everyone was happy. He lived in one end and we lived in the other. It was cool because I loved the small town atmosphere and I felt that we all looked out for each others best interests. She did her best to try to make things work between us but I think we both saw that the end of us was near... She and I only lasted like 6 months while we were up there. I think it all can be summed up with the help of Bob Dylan and the last verse of 'Tangled Up In Blue' "We always did feel the same, We just saw it from a different point of view." I moved out into my own apartment and was BOUND and DETERMINED to make a go of it MYSELF for at least a year so I could say to people "I DID IT!" My apartment consisted of stuff that people gave me which was pretty cool. BARE MINIMAL was the key phrase. KRIPES! I think my bed consisted of a mattress on the floor. I felt pretty alone and realized when I pulled into my Grandparent's drive way in Mansfield, OH that my closest relatives were 450 miles away from me! That's far!!! I ALWAYS dreaded going back to WI. when I was seeing family in OH. or NY. I HATED I-90 west because it meant I was going back to WI.. I made some GREAT friends up there including the Haver clan

both Andy and his brother Scott made life easier on me by having me over for dinner and family parties. I will always remember watching the 2000 election with Scott not knowing WHO WON and drinking coffee the whole time and ANDY/Deanna and their kids were saints to me!!!! BUT I knew I had to go back under the Mason-Dixon line. I kinda just hung around but I'm pretty sure that I had a nervous break down while watching the Bills and Vikings game. Don't ask me why then, maybe a Doug Flutie sack triggered it. I just fell apart mentally and my boss and friend told me to go see a Dr. because he and others were worried about me because I just wasn't the 'happy go lucky' guy I was usually. SURE enough the Dr. said I was depressed and prescribed Paxil and some sessions with a counselor. FUN STUFF let me tell ya. I remember being so pissed that I had to take an effing drug to be 'normal'. Then and now, I still think just talking to someone was more effective then the DAMN anti-depressant I was on. The whole time I was thinking about my 'exit strategy' so I could get back home. Andy H. was gracious enough to give me a job at his machine shop so we thought it would be cool to tear apart my 65 Mustang and redo it right (when you're a teenager, ya tend to do stupid stuff to cars) because we had the tools to do it. WOO HOO!!!

We were in the middle of that when I decided it was time, having my brother and sister-in-law say that I can have her slightly used boat helped make my decision even easier.

Plus I will never forget my Grandpa Cawley, after I told him I was thinking about moving back, saying "Andy I really think you should do it, It would ease your mom and her sisters minds to know you were back in a happy place in your life."

So we hastily put the Mustang back together just enough for me to put it on a trailer that I could tow with my good old truck, said good bye to a few people, tried not to cry like a baby and on Sept. 9th, 2001 I pulled into Charlotte. I was going to unpack that day and the 10th with the intention of looking for a job on the 11th. Well we all know that EVERYTHING changed that day. ANYWAYS, A few months later I got a job at Wells Fargo and that's where I have been ever since. My Mustang is still in the same condition it was when we put it back together so I could haul it back to Charlotte.

I want to clarify that it's SOOOOOOOOOOO easy to look back at a situation and say "I would have done that differently" KRIPES!!! Hind sight's ALWAYS 20/20. It was an experience, a chapter in my life, I learned some valuable lessons from it that I will ALWAYS uphold:

I will NEVER live with a girl before marriage, You are freakin roommates and there is nothing stopping you from saying "I'm done and outta here." With marriage (the one thing I think it's good for) you both know, "HEY I'm in it till 'death do you part' so WE need to resolve our issues and remember that we are in it for the long haul."
Teepee's are pretty spacious and cozy.
"KRIPES!" and "What the crap?" are pretty funny sayings and I STILL use them to get a chuckle out of people.
I will NEVER live from pay check to pay check. having no money BLOWS! Call me a chick but I love security that comes with knowing I have $ in the bank to cover any emergencies that might come up.
Bluegrass music is some pretty good stuff.
Hey! I'm pretty good at welding aluminum.

I think in the end we are both very happy in the way our lives are now. Mary has her husband who adores her and two little babies and a great family to support her. I have a life of being a single guy that names his power tools and is happier than a pig in poopy to play out in the yard with the goal of SOMEDAY being awarded the 'Lancaster County Yard of the Month". I view WI.=FAILURE. I'm not bitter, angry or calling anyone the ANTICHRIST, ~~but I might work with them and as far as I know they never lived in Wisconsin.~~ NATAS, (satan spelled backwards) moved on with her plans for the apocalypses, I MEAN, went to another department on August 12th. I just don't want to relive it. I know that will upset people I became friends with up there but that's how I feel and I have no desire to ever go back up there to visit. Too many bad things. Call me an 'A' hole but that's how I feel. So there ya have it, This is MY version of what happened. Others might be different and that's groovy. As for me, You will NEVER hear me talk about this again and if you ask me then I will simply direct you to this and it will tell you all you need to know. AGAIN! Please DO NOT think that I am ANGRY at people or events in the past, I'M NOT TRUST ME!!!!!

The only news here is that we had a freakin' earthquake!!! Just so ya know, I'm NOT a big fan of the earth shackin' under my feet... OH and I had to get a new phone, apparently electronics do NOT like being put in a washing machine.... The new one does EVERYTHING! Kripes! It might even make ya breakfast, I have to check the manual to see how to do it.

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011 and BEING it's the end of the 5 year FIESTA! I want to say thank the over 12K+ people that have actually read this stuff. Even the guys that send me the 'I'm the heir to a Nigerian Prince and all I have to do is give them my bank account # so they can put MILLIONS in it! AND ALWAYS remember that some things are better viewed in your rear view mirror....

2011-08-01T01:30:00.001-05:00

BAM BOOM POW!!!!!

BUT! Before we get to that, I have a few more 'loose ends' from my McBRIDE WORLD TOUR 2011 to tie up: I was asked by a hottie at work how my tour was, I said it was groovy and all. She says 'but I thought you would have had more fun being you were on tour?" I kinda looked at her funny THEN I remember that she 'texted' while I was heading up to Ohio to see my Grandma McBride and my Nana and asked me where I was. Being a smart @$$, I replied back to her that I was on tour with Survivor and we were doing a gig at the Mansfield, OH Fair Grounds that night. She thought I was serious and told others that I was touring. FUNNY!!! I felt bad that after 2 1/2 weeks of her telling people that, I was only joking. She was mad but after I said she's got GREAT LEGS she forgave me. EYE OF THE TIGER BABY!!!!!!

I also neglected to tell y'all that I collected another 1000 frequent flyer miles to Heaven!!! WOO HOO!!! Well after the Kocklers took me to lunch at 'DA BEEF', Beef and Barrel!

Steve and I were on our way home and some UMMMMMMMM 'heavy set' (trying to be nice here) ladies needed some help because they were stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire. It was three ladies and a sweet girl, Jessica, with some 'mental issues', basically in the old days she would be called retarded. THERE I SAID IT. Anyways, we put a spare tire on and I looked at the other tires and told one of the ladies, "Now promise me you will get a new set of tires because the set you have now are pretty bad.". She promised that she would and then Jessica gave me a big hug and said THANK YOU! Again folks, It's the little things in life that make your day.
Also, While I was gone 'Catholic Kate' (MOM), no I DON'T call her that to her face, and Big Ron (DAD)

came down to casa de McBride to clean it up so it would be up to 'KATE MCBRIDE STANDARDS'. Well when I got back after 2+ weeks, the house was SUPER DUPER clean and my freakin' bushes were even trimmed! GOOD GOD! BUT they 'organized' so well that there are items that I am STILL looking for. KRIPES! I finally found the remote to my iPod player AND I'VE BEEN HOME SINCE JULY 6TH!!!!!!!! AND don't get me started on the lid to my crock pot! That thing is STILL M.I.A!

Last but not least, I saw one of my 4th grade teachers (That's 1984, DO THE MATH KIDS! That's 27 FREAKIN' years ago!) Then she was Mrs. Sonneborn but made sure to tell me that she is Mrs. Stedman now.... She is as SWEET as EVER! GOD LOVE HER!!!!!! She made it a point to tell me that she vividly remembered having to pick up her son at my old house because he, how do you say?, 'stretched the truth' about being at someone else's house and was really at our house because my older brother was having a party! HOODLUMS!!!!

OK! LET'S START THIS MONTH'S ENTRY AGAIN!!

#####THIS HAPPENED IN FEBRUARY OKIE DOKIE?#####

BAM BOOM POW!!!!!

That was on Batman! Remember that???? Well that's what I thought I heard at 3AM one day, Well actually it was a 'POP' with UMMMMMMM well I can't describe it but it sounded like this, go to minute 3:33 of this video. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming OR a freakin' pipe burst! SON OF A!!!! I sure as heck wasn't going back to sleep, So I went out to the garage, threw on my Carhartt cover alls

and went under the house. AGAIN! THIS WAS AT 3AM IN THE FREAKIN' MORNING!!!! When I finally crawled to where I though the noise came from, everything was just fine! WOO HOO THANK GOD! No burst pipe or anything. All was well! I tested all the facets throughout the house and the water pressure was normal. I went back under there during the day and insulated the pipe (for safe measure) with some extra pipe insulator I had gotten at BIG LOTS over the years!

I also marked the main shut off just in case I EVER need too SHUT IT OFF!!!

I emailed POPS and Boike describing what I heard and what I did in my course of action and POPS threw out there a few thing that it might have been and my favorite was that it might have came from the gas line. I kinda chuckled at that and replied that if it was the gas line I can guarantee that I would not be here! KRIPES! They would have found little pieces of me in neighboring counties... This happened 5 months ago and I am happy to report that I have not heard any SNAP CRACKLE or POPPING since. So I got that going for me which is good.. Oh before I forget (getting old SUCKS) I HAVE to include this email I got from my friend Paul:

"Your blog should be required reading. If Oprah was still at it and she were to do a 'Oprah's Blog Club', I believe with all my being yours would be selected EVERY month. Not fair to the other bloggers, I know, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I also believe that you should get a twitter acct. You'd have a gazillion followers and they'd be hanging on to every post. Here are just a few posts I could see you making:

1) OUTTA' BEER!

2) EFFING BILLS.

3) Dear Ladies, ANDY need huggy. CALL ME!

4) EFFING GD BILLS.

5) EFFING SABRES!

6) SLAP THAT @$$!"

WELL!! Your wish is MY command!!! Not gonna lie to ya, I kinda feel like this guy now.

HA!! You guesses it, THIS is my profile picture on there AND as of 7-31-11 I have a WHOPPING 5 followers!! One freakin' guy is trying to get me to join his 'PONZI SCHEME' and someone that wants me to check out their porn site!!!! Both sound pretty legit right? But Paul you said gazillion followers?????? Oh I also joined Google+. LOOK OUT WORLD WIDE WEB BECAUSE IT'S 'ANDY TIME'!! Getting back on track, I kinda wish that snow in the picture I have of me in the Carhartt was around because I would lay in it buck @$$ naked! GOOD GOLLY! To steal a phrase from a guy I met in Talledega, AL, MMMMMMMM DEGA!!! "It's hotter than the hubs of hell!" As you know, I tend to 'do without' when things stop working. Well about 2 years ago my A/C went out. My thought was "I'll hold out as long as I can before I have to spend $ to get a new one. Well, after this week, I'm seriously thinking about getting a new one because it has been so HOT but in the mean time, I had a little A/C unit for a window that I would put in when my nephew Charlie would stay over and I would remove it after, BUT I caved in and installed it for ME! The heat was just too unbearable.

I said that I was going to start tiling the bathroom floor in my last entry and BA DA BING! Sure it's NOT perfect but you have to really get on your hands and knees to see anything that's out of whack. I STILL have to work on trim and other stuff BUT over all, I'm pretty happy with the results.

Call me a FREAK but I went and saw Sade

She is on a list of ONE that I would pay to go see. KRIPES! She puts out new music and tours like every TEN years so I don't mind spending $! Steph went with me, She had no idea who she was BUT I told her that if she went with me that I, ANDY McBRIDE, would pay for everything!! WORD!!! Just because playing Jedi Mind Tricks RULE, I had bought an extra ticket for 'the girl I said has nice legs so I affectionately call 'HOT LEGS', BUT she said said she couldn't go. Can you say MISSED OPPORTUNITY!?!?!?!?!?! SOOOOOOOOOOO sucks for HER! Back to Sade, don't believe me that she RULES!?!?!? Listen to 'Cherish the Day'. If that doesn't 'HELP' you get some action then FRANKLY SIR, you need to give it up and join the priesthood......

And finally I want to help my friend who needs mine and the 10 people that reads this help. Her name is Felicia DUBE (DEW- BEE) and last year she lost her baby boy Carter to whooping cough. She is raising awareness through the March of dimes and if ya want to contribute that would be like so totally rad and she has told me that if she reaches her goal then she will wear the dress she wore to the prom! I bet her husband is saying "FOR ALL THAT IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD, PLEASE help her reach her goal so we can relive PROM 1992!!!"

I need to tell ya this little story so grin and bear with me OKIE DOKIE, I was a TRUE BLOODED Jeff Gordon hater and I ALWAYS screamed at the top of my lungs "PUT' EM IN DA WALL!" each lap. WELL!!! Felicia told me that he and his foundation did a TON of stuff when all this happened with her baby... PLUS his wife is really HOT! (GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY!) So now I think he's an alright guy and I save my "PUT' EM IN DA WALL!" scream for that clown Kasey Kahne!
AND ONE MORE THING! A friend of mine up in NY had a really bad house fire AND LOST EVERYTHING! GOOD GOLLY!

And if ya got anything to help them get back on their feet then then just email me or his brother Steve and we will send it to them..... GIVE TO LIVE kids!!!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This marks the first time I had to go up on a ladder and clean out my DANG gutters!! (Rolling my eyes) It was a real joy let me tell ya! Talk to ya later and remember that you better PRAY I never get a 'wild hair up my @$$' and get the ambition to climb the corporate ladder because you might be on the short list of people I kick to the curb when/if I become your boss.....

2011-07-06T20:00:00.019-05:00

WOO HOO!!!! Over 11k + have checked out my blog!!! сладкий that's 'SWEET' in Russian my fellow comrades. I would like to thank the 10 people that actually read this and keep on hitting the 'refresh' button on their internet browser. First off, I am sorry that there has been a delay in posting this BUT I was on WORLD TOUR! I know everyone has been worried because I didn't post this on the 1st........ All sarcasm a side, Before we get to the WORLD TOUR, I have pictorial evidence that I, Andy McBride, is the nephew of MISS FIRE PAGEANT 1962! Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for MS. CECE (ROOT) CAWLEY

I would like to thank my fellow God parent, Cassie for a picture I have been looking for... ALSO I want to say that I AM NO LONGER A BOAT OWNER!!! They say that the two happiest days in a boaters life is when they buy a boat and when they sell it! I tend to agree! I told myself that I, ANDY McBRIDE, would become a priest if it didn't 'help' me get some and the last time I checked I ain't Father McBride! ANYWAYS! A guy drove 4 hours from GA. and bought it and took it home that night.

OK! Now on to the WORLD TOUR 2011! I'm soooooooooooo going to have a running dairy

Thursday 6-23 Mansfield, OH

The drive up was pretty uneventful, I drove 60MPH and so everyone including a few Amish People passed me.

OH WELL!!!! I bet they didn't get 40+ MPG like I did!!! 'ANDY' 1 'People that go faster than 60MPH' 0!!!! WOO HOO!!!! When I got into town I hung out with my Grandma McBride and she is still as spunky as ever! She can hardly see anything but BY GOD she'll do it and DAMN YOU for asking if she needs help. I learn something new every time I see her. KRIPES she told me that grandpa was in a car wreck when he was 17 and was in a FREAKIN' coma for 3 weeks! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! She also had me go through some photo albums and take whatever pictures I wanted. I found this one and gotta HUGE CHUCKLE when I saw it..... Here's proof that I'm not the only smart @$$ in the family, This is my dad, Uncle Bob and Uncle Dick back in he 70's!!!

OH AND don't THINK if my uncle Dick AND Bob still had those shirts that I wouldn't ask them for em' so I could wear em' for 'casual Friday'. I also got this picture of my Uncle Bob when he was in the Marine Corp in the 50's. I SWEAR it's a spitting image of my friend Thompson. You sure we aren't related?

Friday 6-24 Mansfield, OH

Grandma took me to an old Howard Johnson's for breakfast AND gave me $50!!!! DRINKS ARE ON ME BABY!!! WOO HOO!!! At Kroger now because they have WIFI!!! Being connected to the WWW FREAKIN' RULES!!!!!!! Got a pizza and a sixer of beer and went and saw my Nana, She is 93 and GOD LOVE HER!!!! We chatted for awhile and I fed a baby that I found.

then I went to my cousin Chris' house! HE RULES!!! I hung out with him and drank beer while talking about cars and how cool our grandpa was and how our step grandfather Russ was WAY BEFORE HIS TIME when it came to being 'green'. He built a piping system made of black PVC pipe on his roof to help heat his pool. He didn't do it to save the earth, he did it because he thought he could save $!

Saturday 6-25 Allegany, NY

Got up at 5:30AM and hit the road for A-TOWN (Allegany)..... Again! The drive was pretty uneventful BUT I did stop at the Chautauqua Lake rest stop and took this picture as proof that it ACTUALLY is real!

So when I say 'HOLY SH UH T AH K W UH LAKE' (with a 1 millisecond pause between SH UH and I say the rest of the word) and you got a problem with me saying it then write a letter to the Seneca Nation Tribe and complain to them about how one of the names they have in their language can be used as a cuss word. HOLY $@#T, also go and gamble at their casino! “WHITE MAN has screwed us over for 400+ years BUT WE HAVE the final laugh! It's called gambling!!! THE WHITE MAN LOVES TO GAMBLE and we LOVE taking your $!” I also stopped their because it has FREE WIFI!!!! Public housing= free WiFi! SAME THING RIGHT!?!?!? ANYWAYS, If you wanna see Amercana at it's finest then go to a small town parade,

after I went to the carnival for BEER-PA-LOOZA II, it was sort of a let down, DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE seeing people I have not seen in years but it rained off and on and more people stayed home because of that plus some other things........

Sunday 6-26 Bolivar, NY
Hung out with my cousin Jeff who might be the FUNNIEST man EVER, and his wife today.

He took me to Texas Hots which is ALWAYS yummy and I got to hang out with one of his sons Connor! In this picture we had our mind on our $ and our $ on our mind...

then we went to SUNNY HILL which is a camper park up on a hill and drank a few more beers and sat around with my uncles/aunts and cousins, one that is dating a guy with a SWEET Kawasaki motorcycle! Oh and Princess Lea AKA Anne, my cousin snapped this picture of my God Daughter and I and after she had a 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED' cigarette..... LIGHT EM' IF YA GOT EM'!!!

Monday 6-27 Allegany and Olean, NY

I know people think that it's 'odd' that I do this BUT I like cleaning up friends of mine that have passed grave sites. It's the least I can do for people that are gone but not forgotten for making me the person I am today...

Also went to see some old friends and a OBI (Olean Business Institute) graduate, My mom and Lynda Kockler went there back in the sixties (to basically be a secretary) and Steve worked with my dad.

They took me to 'DA BEEF' The Beef and Barrel for lunch then Steve showed me around the Olean Airport, YES THERE IS ONE, KRIPES! I even have the shirt to prove it!

It's a pretty small one but it was very cool that he showed me all the stuff out there.
Then I took Kara and another friend of ours who's UMMMMMMMM 'well endowed' to dinner at Angees,

Tuesday 6-28 Buffalo, NY

Went up to Buffalo today to see my cousin Christine and my great uncle and aunt Bernie and Carol. On the way up, I stopped at Ralph Wilson Stadium and bought a shirt then proceeded to walk around the stadium and take some pictures. KRIPES! What's the worst they can do? SAY “GET OUT.” Remember kids, It's ALWAYS easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission...

When I was done there I grabbed some lunch right next to the stadium and then went downtown to HSBC Arena where the Sabres play and loaded up on more t-shirts. Everything was half off! I don't know why but I'll take it!!!! It was like shopping at Big Lots! BRAND NAMES at CLOSE OUT prices ya know!!!!!! Then I went and hung out with my great uncle Bernie! He's pretty funny and told me some GREAT stories about my grandfather........ Christine then took me to the Ale House where we ate and her HOT friend let me check out her money maker while pretending to eat and UMMMMMM 'borrowed' a glass out of the establishment!!!!!! WOO HOO!!! Now I can enjoy a cold one in my Bills pint glass while they are getting CRUSHED and remember when Darryl Talley wore a Spider Man under shirt while the Bills were doing the CRUSHING of wimpy teams!!

Wednesday 6-29 Allegany, NY

Drove back to Allegany and snapped this picture of the chimney at the house I lived in when we lived in A-TOWN, Allegany.

No I ain't a freak, You see, I think it was circa 1980, Big Ron decided to 'extend' the chimney. As you can clearly see, it was NOT the best masonry job EVER! The bricks don't match, some would say, not even close. FUNNY! I wanted this picture so the next time he 'questions' my abilities, I will simply show him this picture and remind him where my 'abilities' come from. I sometimes can't remember what I had for lunch a few days ago BUT I sure as hell remember this SUPERB masonry job from 30+ years ago. Went to my friend Kara's house where her daughter Brynn DEMANDED that we watch some Justin Bieber videos...... Let me tell ya, IT WAS A JOY (rolling my eyes).

We then went to lunch at, DARE I SAY, the BEST EFFING PIZZA PLACE EVER!!!!! Things are 'different' between us BUT I really like helping her with the knowledge I have and helping her and Brynn with what I hear from this guy's pod casts. She doesn’t treat me like LITTLE ANDY that needs help wiping my nose. She had some money 'issues' and we spent the whole afternoon writing down all of her expenses and coming up with a budget for her and I thought of some other stuff that might help her and Brynn.... First and foremost! EVERY ONE needs to get this book! He explains stuff a lot better then I do! Anyways, I went back to Bolivar and hung out with my cousin Jeff and Kari and drank a few beers and he filled me in on some of the DRAMA that ALL families have!!!

Thursday 6-30 Bolivar/Allegany, NY, Emporium, PA (PENNS-A-TUCKY)

Woke up and had a beer because I'm on VACATION DAMMIT!!!

Had lunch with an old friend who DEMANDED we go to Perkins because they serve SANKA! HA!!

KIDDING!!!! We drove in style there. That's a 'CHOPPED' 57 CHEVY BOYS AND GIRLS!

Drove down to Emporium, PENN-SA-TUCKY and I came with a gift to my cousin's wife Amanda. Just call me DR. CANCER!

She proofreads my blog. It use to be Steph but she has a 'CABANA BOY' and she is unreliable now. Got a little equation for ya: a carton of smokes $47/ 8 packs- $5.88 a pack X 365 days a year= $2144.38. Hope those cigarettes are worth it. She also gave me a gift! WOO HOO! HOOTERS RULE!!

We cooked in STYLE! Filet BEEEEEOOOOOOOTCHES!!!!!!! It was even more yummy thanks to Joe's BITCHIN' recipe for grilling ANIMAL!!!!!!

Red wine vinegar
Coarse black pepper
Garlic Salt
Season Salt
Splash red wine vinegar on both sides of the steak.
Use coarse black pepper on both sides of the steak.
Sprinkle garlic salt on one side, and season salt on the other side.

Do that about an hour before grilling, and leave the steak out so they come up to room temperature before throwing them on the grill. And let me tell ya, IT WAS YUMMY!!!! We then sat around a drank a few 'adult beverages' and discusses some of the family 'issues' that his order brother Jeff told me about...

Friday 7-1 Johnstown, PA

Next stop on the tour was seeing my old friend CARB and his family in Johnstown, PA, You might have heard of it. They had only the WORST flooding disaster in the USA and also one of the funniest movies was filmed there too.

Carb and his awesome wife and two (FUNNY AS HELL) little boys live in a SWEET house that has a FREAKIN MAID BELL so you can RING your woman and say!!! “WOMAN! I WANT MORE POTATOES!!!!” HA!!!!!

He's an attorney and his 'advice' on issues that arise are priceless. On a sobering note, he took me to the Flight 93 site....I still can't wrap my head around that flying a plane into a building and killing innocent people all in the name of your religion is justified.

Saturday 7-2 Marshall, VA

WELCOME TO THE BOIKE/MESE FARM!!!! HOME OF CRAPPY BEER!!!!!

I proceeded to fill them in on my roof 'experience' and my tour so far. All the time drinking some beer and watching some racin' (RUBBIN'S RACIN').

Sunday 7-3 Marshall, VA

We packed up some stuff and went to the Shenandoah river for a 3+ hour tour (Went down stream in inner tubes). It's kinda big business to be a rafting company on the river and so we shared some quality time with a family originally from India and currently residing in the fine state of New Jersey (ROLLING MY EYES AGAIN). We had a GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT time, 'marinating' while pondering life, who is on the 'celebrating list' and drinking a few..... It's the simple things folks!!! Had some Mexican which was YUMMY IN MY TUMMY! ARIBA!! Then like clock work, came home, took a shower and then went to bed.

Monday 7-4 Marshall, VA

WOO HOO!!!!!! Celebrating our independence BEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTCHES! Hatcher, a guy that HATED me the first time he met me but has changed his opinion of me though the years,

came over to the BOIKE/MESE farm and we all hung out and relaxed in a pool and YES some beer was consumed.

It wasn't like PAST July 4^th that consisted of floating in tubes all day while drinking, beating the crap out of a jet ski that one of my former boss's had me keep so his ex wife wouldn't try to get it in the divorce, having people pass out in a hammock, heading out in the middle of the night and finding a cove to drink while listening to the hair nation on Sirius, watching a punk with a white man Afro and wearing a wet suit talk smack about how good of a knee boarder they are and watch them do a face plant while trying to do a 'dock start', taking a bowie in the dead of night then taking pictures with it as if we caught a huge fish, but it was groovy.

Tuesday 7-5 Marshall, VA

Spent my last day in VA, picking rocks, riding the 4 wheeler around and doing ~~some BUSH HOGGING, It's a huge lawn mower on tractor....~~CHECK THAT, I didn’t even make it on the tractor. The day just pretty much consisted of laying around, drinking a few beers, watching some TV and taking a nap. It was pretty much a NONproductive day and I'm alright with that..

Oh I did dip my feet in the pool! That took a lot of work to do.

Wednesday 7-6 HOME L-TOWN (Lancaster, SC)

The 'WORLD TOUR 2011' is over and I logged over 1700 miles. I am already looking forward to 2012! I have a few days before I have to be back at work so I'll work on my truck so it will start and go to the dump and unload the rest of the old roof, tile the bathroom floor, work on a few things out in the yard and just basically get back into the 'swing of things'. OH and SHAVE after not having busted out a razor since June 25th.

Now this is my opinion and as we all know 'opinions are like @$$ holes, EVERYBODY has one', I think you can take your exotic vacations to Europe or the Bahamas and shove them where the sun don't shine. I like going and seeing people that have shaped me into the person I am today and doing stuff for others like clean up their grave. It means more to them that you are coming to see them. People remember that stuff more than if you brag about how you went to Paris. Hey speaking of the French. I was on eBay the other night and someone had an auction for a French rifle, the description said 'twice dropped and NEVER fired' WOO HOO!!! That will rile up some of the PEPE LE PEW's that read this!

OH and in case you were wondering, I think I drank enough beer the last two weeks to fill this TANKER. I think I need to take a break for a few weeks BUT I have a dilemma. You see, when I go on my 'tour' people I go and see get PBR because they know I like it and when I'm about to leave they say "NOT SO FAST SON, You are taking the rest of the PBR because I'm sure as HECK not gonna drink it." So I have a refrigerator full of it.

Making the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This months marks the first time I had to get up on my HOT @$$ roof and fix a leak! I sweated soooo bad! It was like if OJ had to take the witness stand in 1994! Remember y'all, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."

***** BEFORE YOU CLICK ON THIS, HERE IS A DISCLAIMER! KASEY DROPS A FEW 'F BOMBS' and a 'GD' IN THIS LITTLE RANT! SO CLICK IT AT YOUR OWN RISK!*****

2011-06-01T03:00:00.003-05:00

AS OF 2011, there is NO MORE gold looking fixtures at casa de McBride!!! WOO HOO!! The last piece was promptly taken down and given to GoodWill and replaced by this!

To celebrate this HUGE EVENT 'Catholic Kate' insisted that we use the dishes that were given to her sister and FORMER Ms. Firemen Pageant Queen 1966 (I know the picture is out there and I will get it, OH YES I will FIND IT!) Cece when she married the lead singer of Three Dog Night while the band was on 'hiatus'.

Let's see? Oh yeah, We had another bad storm that even knocked over trees and stuff.

I am happy to report that CASA DE MCBRIDE suffered NO damage! WOO HOO!!! KRIPES! I just dropped $1500 for deductibles on my car and house for CHRIST SAKES from the last one... Ain't made of money ya know! Oh and I installed an attic fan. Pretty exciting stuff huh??? Let me give ya an equation: cooler attic+ less money I give to Duke Energy+ Happy Andy= A 'thumbs up' from the GREEN POLICE!

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO used screws from my old boat to screw on the vent..... RECYCLING BEEEEEEOOTCHES!!!!!

I also got a pair of Birkenstock's and the new Phish box set 'LIVE AT RED ROCKS'! YEAH RIGHT!!! But I did get and install another rain barrel!!! My plants and I THANK my friend Dan Brill and Al Gore for encouraging me to conserve more of MOTHER EARTH'S RESOURCES!!!! Not much else is going on at casa de McBride! OH! I did go to the Boike/Mese farm for a few days and partake in GOLD CUP. Not gonna lie to ya, It was kinda weird AND a sophomoric comment from me, There are some women that should NEVER attempt to wear a sun dress!!!! GOOD GOD MAN!!! I think my retinas were burned a few times!!! Also I'll be heading out for the 'McBRIDE WORLD TOUR with special guest REO Speedwagon' in a few weeks and I will be seeing more friends and family that I haven't seen in a while! Remember! You'll pay for the whole seat but only need the edge!!! Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I started saying " G$& D@%# it's hotter than the hubs of hell when you don't turn on you central A/C." Remember to please NOT mistaken my easy going attitude with someone that is lazy and has NO IDEA what they are doing and HERE'S to your future 'ENDEAVORS' includes the phrase "DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?"...

2011-05-01T18:00:00.002-05:00

Craig's List!
It's NOT just for finding 'escort services' ANY MORE OR LOOKING FOR LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV!

Someone WHO wants to remain anonymous BUT I talk to this person ALL THE TIME, SWEARS by Craig's List as a great way to get rid of junk and meet some very interesting people in the process. This is just a few of the emails that this person sent me describing some of the people he has met:

"Andy, I get it all, the one legged guy, the guy on disability who wants a job 'under the table' so he can continue to take the money and run, the Pakistani family(Omar the 10 year old was a WORKER tossing that wood in!) and the guy stuffing his Explorer with 1/2 cord of wood. Yes, that is just from last week!

You know it is funny, and I like that it amuses you, but I can not laugh publicly at some of these people? Come on. Here is another gem from Saturday. Guy that is picking up the wood in the explorer tells me that he has two girls every other weekend, BUT he just got engaged to a girl in Chaney WY. Oh, that's cool, you just picked out the ring? Where did you meet her...........5 months ago on the web. See this one will surely last they have met 4 times in person now!" .

"ok, you got it. I hate when I stick around for a 2:30 appointment and at 3:30 he shows up. So all he needs to do is to load it up pay me, and take off so I can get back on the loader. He wants to chat and tell me stories about buying the truck he came out in, some horse he got for free, and the horse trailer he purchased. His wife told him to go check out a horse trailer that was for sale. It was marked for $4888. he offered $4500, and the guy said nope, 4888. He then said $4700, but again nope, $4888. he offers $4800, but still no movement from the guy. They finally settle on $4888 since the guy is not budging at all. He arranged to pick it up the next day, and asked the guy if he needed a deposit and the seller says nope your wife already gave me $1000 to hold it for you. Now it was a funny story, but to add a bit of funniness when he tells it he takes his hat off and throws it at the ground. Just plain odd."

"A guy from about an hour needs a cord of hickory, and asks if I can deliver it for him. Nope its pick up only, but he needs it today. I tell him he needs 4 wheel drive to access the pile, and he agrees to come out. after his GPS got him lost a few times, and about 2 hours later he arrives. now when he called, he sounded all kinds of whacked asking me where he was from landmarks like 'a pond' or 'steep hills' and such. When he arrived he hops out at the pile, since his girlfriend was driving, and proceeds to pour a gin and juice or some type beverage into his coffee cup. after that he needs a cig and a break to relieve Little Elvis(his words not mine). We get the load all set and the driver of the all to overloaded Honda Ridgeline needs one more for the road, so dude gets out the bottle and pours about half and half of the gin and OJ. I tell you its a freckin train wreck with these guys sometimes, BUT like a pimp on Friday night I got paid baby!"

HA! One of my all time favorite stories is about a guy coming to get a truck load of rock and his poor truck didn't like all the weight had a very hard time getting back on the main road and needed some help from a tractor pulling him! I know I don't do the story 'justice' but I think you get the idea. GREAT STUFF, and So ya have a reference, A 1/2 cord of wood looks like this.

AND this is an EXPLORER

WHERE IN GOD'S NAME DID THE GUY PUT ALL THE WOOD!?!?!?!?!

After hearing all the GREAT success that 'PERSON A' has had, I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WENT FOR IT!!!!! CRAIG'S LIST here I come! First up was my old ride on lawn mower.

It was the FASTEST sale EVER!! I posted it at 6pm and within 6:05 it was sold and was picked up and gone by 7PM!! WOO HOO!!!! I can sooooooooooooooo get use to this!!!! Sorry BUT the guy that bought it was pretty normal. He wasn't drunk or telling me about having a girlfriend in Chaney, WY. Next was my oven and microwave And for a WHOPPING $25 it was sold in NO TIME!!!!!!

Again, No WILD AND WACKY story to tell ya, The guy was pretty normal. I went bigger for my next item, That's right kids, the BOAT is officially on the selling block. It hasn't sold yet but I have gotten quite a few 'bites'..

In other news to hit the Lancaster metro area, we had a nasty hail storm which dented up my new Civic really bad, OH WELL! That's why there is insurance. 99% of the time, I keep it in the garage BUT I needed room because I was working on a flux capacitor. My car is all dinged up BUT BY GOD, I can go back in time now!!! WIN/WIN BABY!!! Also my roof was banged up pretty good and has to be replaced... $500 deductible for a new hood, roof and trunk all painted and a $1000 for a NEW roof for the house with a 14 year old one. I'll take it.

ALSO I am PROUD to announce Operation 'I really want grass to grow in my back yard'. This consists of me coming home each night and throwing on some old clothes, knee pads and putting my iPod on 'shuffle' or listening to a book and getting on all 4s and picking rocks up and putting them into a bucket. You see, I'm not sure BUT I think the previous owners had a truck load of freakin' gravel dumped back there because it's ALL over the place.

All the rocks go into a nice little area right in front of the shed I keep Bjorn. AND beware because I have two pink flamingos guarding it 24 hours a day and they are pretty mean! They can bite your finger off!!!!!

I mentioned that I listen to a book while I am out picking rocks and I have been listening to the one from Sammy Hagar, ALL I CAN SAY IS, Eddie Van Halen is one EFFed up guy! But I guess that's what happens to ya after 30 years of doing drugs! WOW! Where was I? Oh yeah, I stated earlier that I need a new roof due to the hail storm, well I was picking rocks and I heard a voice and it kinda freaked me out because I was looking around and didn't see anyone and jumped up and was ready to 'cold cock' someone and it was a young guy on my roof. It was the insurance adjuster checking out my roof. Poor kid, he kept on apologizing to me for scaring the BEJESUS out of me.....

Oh and looky what I got for $10 bucks at Tractor Supply! Don't HATE because I make this look GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

The only difference between these two pictures is a yellow turtle neck and I checked and I don't have one! SON OF A!!!!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month, SORRY LAST MONTH, marks the first time I celebrated my birthday (April 27th) in my OWN house!!! Talk to ya later and remember, I ain't one of your FRAT boy's that will laugh at anything that comes out of your pretty little mouth! (throwing my hat on the ground) OH WAIT!?! You didn't go to college, NEVER MIND!!!!

2011-04-01T04:00:00.007-05:00

COME ONE, COME ALL!!

To the first annual 'ASK ANDY ANYTHING'! WOO HOO!!!! My fellow BLOGGER Kelly gave me the idea to do it. So I asked him for permission and he said, "HECK, I stole the idea from someone else so it's cool with me." I also stole part of the idea from The Bob and Brain morning show, One of the FUNNIEST shows I have ever heard. They have a segment called 'one question line' where a listener is allowed to ask one question and they answer it. This is the way it will work (as of now), I will answer your questions as they come in cool??? I promise to answer ALL questions, now granted, I might be laughing while I type an answer to ya but I WILL respond!!! So set your phaser guns to 'fun' and fire away with your questions.....If the past is any indication, I'll be lucky to get 3 people to actual read this and submit a question....... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OH I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOTTA PUT THIS IN!!!! I sold my old car to my cousin and so you know, I'm not the only one in my family that has an ODD sense of humor!!!

HA!!! I sooooooooooooo cannot wait to try to deposit this! I might be arrested so if ya get a call from me FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, please answer and post my bail!!!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This marks the first time I celebrated my birthday at Casa de McBride with some guns, midget hookers and firetrucks! MAN!!!!! WHAT A GREAT TIME!!! Talk to ya later and remember, those 'pictures' you took for your EX are now on the World Wide World and this guy can see them. FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!

First up is Allan, who claims to be a 5th round draft pick of the Lions in 2003, At least that's what he told girls to 'get some'. ANYWAYS He asks "Andy my question is why are you so awesome and the rest of us are like the Buffalo Bills?" Nice backhanded compliment I am pretty awesome aren't I???? As for the Bills comment, being a Bills fan is like being in a marriage, you have your good times and not so great ones. Plus you know deep down inside that as soon as our 92 year old owner goes to the big football field up in the sky, it's GAME OVER for Buffalo having a team! YEAH I SAID IT!!!! They will be bought and relocated in a glamorous other city. The western New York region just CAN'T financially support an NFL team! SAD BUT TRUE!

Up next is 'anonymous' who I am pretty sure is this guy. HE/SHE asks "how many 'notches' do you have on your bed post Mr Swingin Single?" Well let's step back and analyze the situation. I live by myself in a pretty sweet house, I have ALL my teeth, I DO NOT have an EX still pissed I got the couch from the family room in the divorce, a job, I'm financially responsible, I have a nice vehicle that gets me to point 'A' to point 'B' and back to point 'A', no baby's daddy.... I would say that when you add all that up, that your question is answered and being the MATURE gentleman that I am, I will NOT divulge any more info.

One of my friends from near the GREAT WHITE NORTH 'TAKE OFF EH!' asks : "For April fool’s day, which is better, gluing a quarter to the floor or putting a rubber band on the sink sprayer???" BOTH have YouTube written all over them!!!! But if I had to choose one then the rubber band on the sink sprayer would be the winner. The look of SHOCK you would get from the unsuspecting victim would be PRICELESS and they would be soaked too!! WIN/WIN!!!!

And batting clean up is Kelly who asked "What do you think of Allegany now, twenty years after our age group graduated and started leaving for the most part? How do you like your eggs? How do you like your steak? How do you like your women? You get home after a rough day...not a horrible day, but one where you put in more effort than you normally do. The beverage you reach for is...what?" It's a bag of MIXED EMOTIONS. On one side I am VERY GLAD Big Ron moved us down here in Aug of 1988. There was and is, better opportunities down here. Job wise that is. The weather is pretty sweet. You still get the change of seasons but it's NOT as extreme as it is up in Allegany. It's not gloomy with a chance of snow from Oct. to April. It gets HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HELL during the summer BUT that's why there is central AC! On the other hand, I MISS that 'small town' atmosphere. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE I CAME FROM! ALLEGANY EFFing NEW YORK! It's who I am and makes me the PERSON I am today. As for my eggs, I prefer them scrambled. I love COW and I prefer it well done. Women Ehh!?!?!? Well I prefer a woman that has a GOOD HEAD on her shoulders. Sure looks are cool and all BUT I enjoy a girl that ACTUALLY listens to me and does not consider me LITTLE ANDY that doesn't know how to EFFing balance a check book. A woman that KNOWS I have my moods where I need to just be alone and TRY to think of a solution to a problem. KRIPES! I could write FOREVER about this subject but I will spare you and the 4 other people reading this. I HARDLY EVER drink on 'school nights', during the week, but when someone or something really RILES me up then I just drink a beer, PBR usually and call it a night because you realize the next day that it's really not that bad.

Scott asked "Who are you most looking forward to seeing at beer-pa-looza 2011?" And I can say with a FIRM ANSWER that I am excited to see EVERYONE that is there. Growing up in Allegany REALLY made me the person I am today. Sure I moved when I was in 8th grade BUT trust me, having an older brother and his friends HELP ME 'grow up' will ALWAYS be one of the BEST experiences ever. With that said, I REALLY want to see your wife and baby being that YOU made me feel like dog poopy last year because I didn't come in time to meet them.

2011-03-01T04:00:00.002-05:00

The DAYTONA 500 is now officially 'marked off' the bucket list. WOO HOO!!!

Sure it's kinda RED NECKY but it's something I can say I WAS AT! I would love to say that about a Super Bowl and if the Bills EVER get back to one, WISHFUL THINKING RIGHT, I'll go......

To mark the occasion, I took the STP patch off of the old hat I wore when I and almost everyone at CCHS worked at STP 'car wash and lube' center

NOTE TO EVERYONE READING THIS!

NEVER send your car through a car wash that is run by teenagers! GOOD GOD! The shenanigans I could tell ya! Where was I?!?! OH YEAH! So I took the STP patch off an old hat and had 'Catholic Kate' Mom, sew it on a newer hat..... I then took a black Sharpie and blacked out old logo on it! HA!!!

STP patch from an old hat- FREE

A hat that I took from my dad because he NEVER wears it- FREE

Mom's MAD 'sewing skills'- free

A black Sharpie I had at my desk at work- FREE

A SWEET @$$ hat that is the envy of every person that was at the race- PRICELESS!

As for my FL. trip, it was uneventful. I took the train and NO I didn't encounter any CRAZY PEOPLE
and I have found that it's really not that bad........ Just have your iPod full of some Dave Ramsey, Clark Howard, PTI and Bill Simmons and the time FLIES by and did I mention it's CHEAP? Amtrak! Gov't OWNED since 1971!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Hello MOTHER RUSSIA! Anyways, my cousin Elise picked me up and we hung out for the day

which consisted of going to her place of work because she gets a discount there! HA KIDDING! She doesn't work there. Anyways, we then proceeded to relax at the RESORT de SINGER!!! MY GOD!!!!!

Most of my time consisted of me plopping my butt on the couch and drinkin' one of the last truly American owned beer.

I also saw some old friends that I have not seen in like 15 years!!! The TENORES RULE!!! Sorry no pictures because I forgot to take one!! Getting old is a BEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTCH!

In other news, With very MIXED emotions I would like to say good bye to an old friend that I have known and loved since 2/3/04!

Yeap! Her transmission 'went'.... This was a direct cause of the getting tagged from behind, you see, I had the car in gear when I was hit and the impact caused the gears in the transmission to strip. It wasn't instant BUT it was a rapid progression where one morning it just wouldn't go in gear at all..... But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don't feel too sorry for me because I drove this until I got a new Civic!

EVERYONE! In your best Mr. Howard voice I want you to say "Excuse me fine sir, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?" Now I know you are asking yourself, well maybe you're not but anyways, "why didn't he just drive his truck in the mean time?" Well her official name is 'Townie' because she is not up for driving long distances anymore and driving a 60 mile round trip each day just isn't in her... The transmission in her is starting to slip.... So she is just groovy being an IN TOWN truck hence her name 'Townie'.... Where was I?!?! OH YEAH, BUYING A CAR TIP #1: Try this out the next time you are looking at buying a car and the sales rep is all over you like a cheap suit. When they ask you to take a seat and talk about 'numbers' say "No I think I'll just stand". They kinda get intimidated and you find that your 'numbers' tend to go into your favor! PLUS having these too help!

People think you are a PHYSCO biker dude that is packing heat and is on the verge of going 'postal'!! SO!!!! This is what I got! ANOTHER HONDA CIVIC! Hey domestic car makers!?! Be more like Honda and people will start buying your stuff again.

HA!!! Wanna hear what I was pretty close to doing???? TRADING HER IN AFTER JUST A DAY! Here's why, Someone who 'recently graduated college and is pretty sure they know everything' got the same color car! The only saving grace was that it's a hybrid and mine is not.... WOW! That was close wasn't it!?!? I was 'this close' to going back to the dealer and trading it in! Not really BUT HEY I have $10 bucks saying that it made ya laugh....

FIRST OFF, don't faint but I DO go to mass regularly and let's just say that I am the youngest person there. Anyways, The old guys there have been 'LICKING THEIR CHOPS' because they would love me to be a Knight of Columbus. When one of them approached me about it, all I could think about was the Knights of Columbus in Allegany and their DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY!!! KRIPES!!!! This guy was one of them!

NO he's NOT dead in this picture! I have been assured by my fellow F/Ber's that he is in fact, sleeping! ANYWAYS! This is Bud Kennedy, the science teacher and Knight of Columbus in Allegany, NY! He and his fellow 'Knights' LIVED IT UP, to say the least, and he is ALL I think of when the Knights of Columbus are brought up.

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I watched the Super Bowl on my SUPER PHAT HDTV.
Talk to ya later and remember, I do NOT hate anyone but there are people I CHOOSE NOT to associate with! FYI! If I don't talk to you and avoid ya like the FREAKIN' PLAGUE, That's why...

2011-02-01T05:00:00.002-05:00

THIS IS WHY THE SOUTH RULES!!!!!

I even added music to my little slide show!!! Pretty sweet huh!!! AHHHHHHH Good ol' Johnny Mathis! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reminds me of Bob & Mary Cawley's house back in the day!

I sure hope I don't get sued for copyright infringements. Johnny, Columbia Records or the RIAA. SWEET MOTHER OF BABY JESUS have mercy on me....

Just throw on my CARHARTT full body suit

and go for a walk and take pictures. It's great! You see, local and state governments will NEVER be prepared for this down here because it happens so rarely. They only include the minimal salt and snow removal in their annual budgets, but if they all need to go on a retreat to Palm Springs WELL they write that in! PORK!!!! YA GOTTA LOVE IT! Anyways, It's cheaper just to close everything because it will all be gone in a day or two...... But this dang 'SNOW STORM 2011' is really cramping my style man! As I type this, it's 31 degrees!!!! So all the snow a has a nice layer of ice on it! SON OF A!!! I just spent the last two hours making paths to get to my truck and car and preparing to go back to work in the next few days.

And in other news, remember this "Well they are clearing the land back there for some houses and the old guy that was clearing it stopped by and had a chat with me... He said that there is a reason that he has a no trespassing sign up. I think I got the point and immediately halted all operations on the
expressway."? Well this happened and I am hoping this wasn't the same guy that STERNLY told me to halt on further construction on the 'McBride expressway'
Also, I was freakin' TAGGED while slowing down for a red light....... Everyone is all right BUT I'm 'fired up' because I have to rearrange things! I HATE when my routine is jacked up!

Well the 'insurance adjuster' came out and checked it all out and called it a TOTAL, I guess the kicker was it having over 157k on it! HA!!!! No biggy, I'll just put the check they will give me in the 'new car' fund I have and keep on driving this baby until I have enough to buy a new Civic. I KNOW this will cause a lot of people out there reading this to think I am a FULL BLOWN RED NECK, too late huh?, but I just bought a couple new bulbs for my brake light and turn signal to work, a roll of red tail light tape.
AND WAA-LAA!! I'm good to go!! Sure I can't open the trunk and the back is ALL COSMETICALLY 'MESS UP' but it still gets me to point 'A' back to point 'B' and back to point 'A' with no problem!

My nephew Jack was very upset by this, He does NOT like things to be out of place. He was saying 'OH NO UNCLE ANDY, Your car needs to be fixed!"

ALSO! Mese was ABSOLUTELY horrified that I was using this to treat my shoes that she picked out for me, so LOOKY what I got from her for Christmas???

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I ABSOLUTELY DID NOTHING TO THE HOUSE AND FREAKIN' HIBERNATED (as I did last month) for the winter.
Talk to ya later and remember, No matter WHO ya are, chances are pretty good that your poopy smells just like all the rest of ours!

2011-01-06T03:45:00.002-05:00

GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!!!! This dang hand WON'T freakin' heal!!!! I SOOOOOOO HATE GETTIN' OLD!!! It's hampering my style man! I can do simple things like type and stuff BUT if I try to extend my arm in a certain way, IT'S PAIN!! Not just any old pain but the kind that makes ya stop what you are doing, grab your hand, try to breath again, grimace and TRY not to curse! I grabbed some broken up concrete and made my dams in my front ditch bigger.

While doing this I RE-aggravated my hand BUT it was worth it because it was free!!!!! I LUUUUUUUUUV that price!!!!! I'm suspecting that someone just dumped them there because you HAVE to pay the county landfill to dump them. So being that we kinda live out in the middle of NO WHERE, they just dumped it. I have NOOOOOOOO problem with this because I can take most of it and make use of it. KRIPES! Plant some ivy and it will cover it in no time and no one will know if it's rocks I paid for or some broken up concrete I got for free!!! WIN/ WIN BABY!!!!!
As for Christmas Santa (Mom and Dad) got me a SWEET old rotary phone for my kitchen, I won't delve too much in the details but IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!

Oh and in case you where wondering if you can you still use a rotary phone? I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAVE YOU A LINK!!!!!! Just call me Bill Gates!!!!! This is not on the scale of an SMU booster BUT I got a picture of Kidd Brewer Stadium where my alma mater ASU (Appalachian State University) plays football.

I also got a few gift cards to one of the GREATEST STORE IN THE HISTORY OF Capitalism!!! BIG LOTS!!!!!! Not only do I have enough to buy my cleaning supplies for a freakin' year, I bought some new handles for my dresser and the spare bathroom.

I gotta make this quick so pardon the RUSH, GREAT BAND! I'm down here in a Lake Placid, FL for my cousin's little girl's Baptism

and I'm in the Retirement Community Club House (It's the only place that has the World Wide Web) finishing this up and my time is very limited because a bunch of old ladies are not happy because I'm interrupting their exercise and 'Community organization' meeting.........

Took a train down to FL. and it wasn't that bad..... As a single guy, I think I will take it again.
Relaxed at Heaven's waiting room, I MEAN, a retirement community where my aunt and uncle live for 6 months out of the year.

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I ABSOLUTELY DID NOTHING TO THE HOUSE AND FREAKIN' HIBERNATED for the winter.
Talk to ya later and remember, IMAGE IS EVERYTHING!

2010-12-01T05:00:00.002-05:00

a pupper that I thought more of then most people on this Earth, is now playing in the big playground up in the sky. So there won't be any pictures of the stuff I have done to the house. So if you're just in it for the pictures, well come back next month because I feel like typing some stuff that I have NEVER said nor will I mention again. I usually have to be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, drunk to talk about WI. but I'll make an exception to the rule on this one. YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I figure that with her gone, a chapter in my life is now closed. Plus I want to type it so I can remember it when I'm in the nursing home. FIRST OFF! It was OUR decision to move up there. I just quit a job that SUCKED, I only lasted there 6 months before I had enough. I think we needed a 'change' and moving someplace would help achieve that. She was from West Bend, WI and, again WE, decided to move up there. So with the help of her brother Dan and their dad, we packed up a U haul and away we went. I was well established in Charlotte and it was vise verse up there. The dynamics changed because she was born and raised there and had a circle of friends and a core family. I remember that it was a very hard place to get a job because, let's face it, WI. is not the most GROWING economy in the USA. With in a month of us moving up there I landed a job I KNOW I was over qualified for but hey! It was a freakin' job. It was a 2nd shift job in a print company. HA!!!!! I sooooooo remember going to the bathroom and taking a nice long nap in one of the stalls because I was so bored..... SLEEPING on the MAN'S WATCH!!!! I also helped out her dad on a few of his jobs, he was a contractor and he taught me some cool stuff that I STILL utilize today. She worked at Chilis in Milwaukee for a little bit but eventually worked for her mom at a mail/shipping place. It was a very cool set up for her because her boss was her mom and it was a very friendly and a family atmosphere. Her brother worked there too and he had a SWEET German Sheppard, Greta and Mary had Wylie. They were part of the Mail Drop. Customers loved seeing, petting and giving treats to them..... We lived with her dad, Peachy, in his HUGE house, It had its challenges but in all everyone was happy. He lived in one end and we lived in the other. It was cool because I loved the small town atmosphere and I felt that we all looked out for each others best interests. She did her best to try to make things work between us but I think we both saw that the end of us was near... She and I only lasted like 6 months while we were up there. I think it all can be summed up with the help of Bob Dylan and the last verse of 'Tangled Up In Blue' "We always did feel the same, We just saw it from a different point of view." I moved out into my own apartment and was BOUND and DETERMINED to make a go of it MYSELF for at least a year so I could say to people "I DID IT!" My apartment consisted of stuff that people gave me which was pretty cool and, needless to say, it was bare minimum. KRIPES! I think my bed consisted of a mattress on the floor. I felt pretty alone and realized when I pulled into my Grandparent's drive way in Mansfield, OH that my closest relatives were 450 miles away from me! That's far!!! I ALWAYS dreaded going back to WI. when I was seeing family in OH. or NY. I HATED I-90 west because it meant I was going back to WI.. I made some GREAT friends up there including the Haver clan

We were in the middle of that when I decided it was time, having my brother and sister-in-law say that I can have her slightly used boat helped make my decision even easier.

So we hastily put the Mustang back together just enough for me to put it on a trailer that I could tow with my good old truck, said good bye to a few people, tried not to cry like a baby and on Sept. 9th, 2001 I pulled into Charlotte. I was going to unpack that day and the 10th with the intention of looking for a job on the 11th. Well we all know that EVERYTHING changed that day. ANYWAYS, A few months later I got a great job at Wells Fargo and that's where I have been ever since. My Mustang is still in the same condition it was when we put it back together so I could haul it back to Charlotte.

I will NEVER live with a girl before marriage, You are freakin roommates and there is nothing stopping you from saying "I'm done and outta here." With marriage (the one thing I think it's good for) you both know, "HEY I'm in it till 'death do you part' so WE need to resolve our issues and remember that we are in it for the long haul."
Teepee's are pretty spacious and cozy.
"KRIPES!" and "What the crap?" are pretty funny sayings and I STILL use them to get a chuckle out of people.
I will NEVER live from pay check to pay check. having no money BLOWS! Call me a chick but I love security that comes with knowing I have $ in the bank to cover any emergencies that might come up.
Bluegrass music is some pretty good stuff.
Hey! I'm pretty good at welding aluminum.

I think in the end we are both very happy in the way our lives are now. Mary has her husband who adores her and two little babies and a great family to support her. I have a life of being a single guy that names his power tools and is happier than a pig in poopy to play out in the yard with the goal of SOMEDAY being awarded the 'Lancaster County Yard of the Month". I view WI.=FAILURE. I'm not bitter, angry or calling anyone the ANTICHRIST, ~~but I might work with them and as far as I know they never lived in Wisconsin.~~ I just don't want to relive it. I know that will upset people I became friends with up there but that's how I feel and I have no desire to ever go back up there to visit. Too many bad things. Call me an 'A' hole but that's how I feel.
So there ya have it, This is MY version of what happened. Others might be different and that's groovy. As for me, You will NEVER hear me talk about this again and if you ask me then I will simply direct you to this and it will tell you all you need to know.

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011: This month marks the first time I got 'comfortably numb' on hot chocolate and Baileys while listening to Johnny Mathis Christmas Album. Speaking of Christmas, I hope ya have a merry one especially the people I know that, some might say, are a waste of donerable organs.

and a SWEET New Year

2010-11-02T13:00:00.003-05:00

MULCH! It's what's for dinner.

NASTY!!! HUH!?!?!?! That stuff's like hot dogs, you don't know what they put in 'em. If you've followed, which I have more and more followers of my bitchin' blog each day, it in the past, you know that I use mulch for my landscaping. The stuff is cheap and I can get a ton of it using my good old truck. HA!!!! It equals out, I help mother earth by using mulch, and emit a ton of carbon in the atmosphere by driving a truck that MIGHT get 5 miles a gallon. WOO HOO!!!!! Big old Detriot V8's! Ya gotta love em'! Getting back on track, I usually go to the county dump and get a load of the stuff BUT this time, it was not the case. I went over there and was informed that they can't give me any because it's 'contaminated'!!! WHAT THE!?!?!? Did they just pull a BP on me!?!? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Plan 'B' was initiated. Being like Magnum P.I. "T.C! Get the chopper ready!" I went to work....
About a year ago I saw that someone was having some property cleared down the road from me. Well they cleared the land and mulched up all the trees and brush. There was just a big old pile sitting there. Now if I was younger

I would have just takin' it without asking! BUT being the mature upstanding citizen I am, I found out through a Realtor who the owner of the property was and I called him. He said that he really appreciated that I called him because people were just going back there and stealing it, BUT he is trying to sell it, GOOD LUCK BUDDY!!!! He told me the price and I almost fainted! No one in their right mind would pay that much $$$$$...... So I know that in your neck of the woods, the economy is not that good BUT in beautiful Lancaster, SC, things are just fine..... As soon as the guy put the land up for sale, It was bought by someone else in about a month. SOOOOOOO I emailed the Realtor again and asked him who the new owners were. He told me and he works right down the street from me. I rode over there and talked to him. GOOD GOD PEOPLE! It was like I asked him for a kidney! He stood there perplexed and finally his son or son in law took down my # and told me would get back to me. That was a few weeks ago and like a one night stand, the call's NOT coming!

WHAT ARE WE AT PLAN 'C' NOW!?!?!?! KRIPES! There is another pile that I pass each day going in and from work. I wrote a simple letter to the guy/gal, whoever owns the house and asked if I could take some of it for my landscaping. Well I sent it and a few days later he called and I am wondering if EVERYONE is smoking 'funny' cigarettes because the guy said he wanted $45!!!! That's just KOOKY talk!!!! HA!!!! So after all of the shenanigans of the last month or so, I called up the freakin' county dump that started this WHOLE odyssey and asked, me-"Is the mulch still contaminated?" nice lady at the dump- 'no darlin' come on over and get a load of it." WOO HOO! All is right with the world!

Hey ya want to see what I 'treat' these with?

WOO HOO!!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! I think pops got this like 20 years ago at one of the first warehouse clubs, I think the name of it was Pace. I have had it ever since so instead of spending $$$ on some leather conditioner I checked online and one of the MANY uses of WD-40 is 'treating' leather products! GIDDY UP!!!!!
$150 pair of Blundstones +
FREE 20 year old WD-40 =
one happy Andy McBride and boots that SHINE!!!

Also, after years of treating it like a rented mule, my good old Sears Craftsman finally kicked the bucket.

Remember before when Frog fixed it, well I think the engine FINALLY just gave up and did it's best Roberto Duran and said "NO MAS!" So I had a day off and decided that would be a great time to invest $100 bucks into filling up my truck and heading up to Charlotte to get a new one.....

SAY HELLO TO BJORN!

It's a Husqvarna and keeping up with my tradition of naming power equipment, I named it in honor of one of the funniest kids I knew.

Bjorn, an exchange student from Sweden who was 'exposed' to the FREE LAND of the USA by my brother and his friends..... They got the poor kid sooooooo plaster at a drive in that he PUKED all over my dad's new Grand Marquis MMMMMMM GOOD TIMES!!!!

So let's recap. There's Marvella

And then Bjorn.

AND FINALLY, marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:
This month marks the first time I went to the county dump and was asked by the attendant "BOY!?! Where are you from cause you talk funny." Maybe because I'm a DAMN YANKEE? Have a great month and try not to write a check your butt can't cash....

2010-10-04T14:00:00.000-05:00

WOO HOO!!!!! We just got INDOOR PLUMBING here in Lancaster county!!! Say GOODBYE to OUTHOUSES!

HA!!! Just jerkin' your chain BUT I do have something for ya involving indoor plumbing AND places you use when 'nature calls'.

My 'throne' had a tendency to rock from side to side when UMMMMM 'nature called'. Can't be having that? No matter how much I tightened the side bolts, it STILL swayed SO I had enough of worrying if I was going to fall over while trying to 'concentrate' on other things. I took the toilet off and found that the bracket holding it to the pipe was broken.

I went to Home Depot where you'll be happy to know that the lady with the 19th century chimney sweeper teeth still works, and got the stuff I needed..... I installed it and it works like a CHARM without rocking back and forth. It was all as easy as my prom date! KIDDING! I didn't go to prom but ya get the point.

Staying on the plumbing/water thing, I know that some people think they are a LUXURY to have BUT bath tub/whirlpool's are as crappy as having an 82 Chevrolet Chevette, The pumps on them leak like a freakin' terrorist getting water boarded even when you NEVER use it. I accidentally hit the stupid power button on it while cleaning. It was only on for like one or two seconds so I didn't think anymore about it BUT one morning I went into my closet and a musty smell hit me like a 2 ton heavy thing and the carpet was soaked. After saying a few 'choice' words, I knew where the water came from!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU WHIRLPOOL PUMP! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!! I could have just unplugged the thing, this might be a little overkill, but instead I took the dang thing out, plugged up the pipes to and from the stupid thing and it's resting comfortably at it's new home.. I sure hope nobody wanted it because it's new home is somewhere at the county landfill.

So now there is no more water 'issues' and I have an electrical outlet in my closet, NOT JUST ANY OUTLET, A GFI one!!!! For what? I have no Godly idea BUT I have one just in case.. I took the opportunity to sharpen my woodworking skills and use up some stuff that just laying around the garage.

The whole 'angles thing' took me a few pieces of crown molding to get down but I finally got it! THANK GOD I have a pile of UNUSED, STILL IN THE PLASTIC crown molding to play around with.

I don't have anything else TOO exciting to tell ya. OH WAIT! I did head up to Virginia and celebrate one of my friends' 40th birthday party by busting out my old varsity jacket I haven't worn in 20+ years, Jeff Spicoli checkerboard vans, a 'never wore' STP hat and finally a SWEET Anthrax concert shirt. We soooooooooooooo partied like it was 1989! Like totally RAD!

Marking the 5th anniversary of living in 'L' town at casa de McBride, I will mention MONUMENTAL moments from the past 5 FREAKING years until 9-2011:

Today marks the first day 5 years ago that I chilled out on my HUGE front porch, cracked open an ice cold PBR, lit one of those citronella candles to keep the bugs away, threw on some Van Halen

and proceeded to get comfortably numb.

2010-09-04T19:00:00.004-05:00

IT'S A CELEBRATION!!!!

I say it's a 'celebration, feista, páirtí, fête, zabava, feestje' of gigantic proportions because this month marks the 5 year anniversary ( I bought the house in July of 2005 but didn't move in until Sept. 2005) of yours truly moving into what we all affectionately call 'CASA DE McBRIDE'!!!!! I even have a LOGO marking this MONUMENTAL EVENT!

HA!!!!! Thank God for Picasa...... I just took a picture and did some 'effects' to it so it sorta looked official. Let's take a stroll down memory lane shall we!?!? Join me in me reliving the 'trails and tribulations' I have gone through in the last 5 years of being a homeowner! Actually I am not the owner until 2029! Till then I am Wells Fargo's BEEEEEEEEEOTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!
Wanna see what I will be doing when they mail me the 'note' stamped "PAID IN FULL"

That's right! On the front porch drinkin some PBR and yelling at the neighborhood PUNKS to "GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!"

This is just gonna be a slide show of then and now pictures so sit back with your beverage of choice and get ready to BOOGIE! Oh and you'll pay for the whole seat but only need the edge!!!! SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! MONSTER TRUCK FEST at the Allegany County Fair Grounds!!! HA!!!!!! FYI, make sure you say it in your monster truck voice!!!!

As you can see, the old paint on the Civic is kinda faded BUT it's ok because she has almost 150k on her AND I plan on keeping her and taking the same picture with her in it celebrating 10 years in 'L' TOWN!!! HONDAS RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULE!!!!

I NEVER use this thing AND in my next entry you'll know why but I wanted to take a picture of it because I had one when I first bought the place...

WOW!!!! Those Bradford Pears sure grow a lot!!

Yeah Yeah Yeah, I know that NASTY @$$ floor and counter tops are still there BUT they won't be there for much longer... If I forgot (which I am sure I did, matter of fact, I KNOW I DID) anything just put on your big boy/gal britches and start reading my blog from the beginning..... OH AND ya got to be like my friend Julie or my cousin's wife and start out by saying "I was bored the other night and read your blog."

AND look what I have, the check list from when I first moved in.

I've completed most of the stuff but there is ALWAYS more to do.... That's just the way I roll!!!!!!!

And being this is a year long celebration, I will mark monumental events that have occurred in the last 5 years in each blog entry until 9-2011!!!
TODAY marks the first time I mowed my lawn with a push mower and realized that it took too much energy and time so the next day I bought a ride-on with the ALL IMPORTANT cup holder to hold my adult beverage.

Well that's all I got for ya take care and ALWAYS remember to "NOT disturb your enemy when he/she is making a mistake...."

2010-08-08T19:00:00.001-05:00

Good day earthlings, first off I wanna say that resistance is futile OH AND take me to you're leader! WOO HOO!!!!

Set your phaser guns to 'FUN' because it's been all fun & games around casa de McBride! Let's get started.
Now I will be the first person to say that BIG LOTS rules 99.9% of the time BUT sometimes I buy something there that turns out to be CRAP! I think it's called buyer's remorse, this applies to many things, HA!!!! I just went POLITICAL on ya! Sorry about that, WHERE WERE WE??? OH YEAH, A couple of years ago I bought some plastic landscaping borders and as you can see, they weren't the prettiest things ever made,

So I decided to do something about them and one day be awarded the prestigious "Lancaster county yard of the month' award. I got some cedar borders, landscaping nails, something to kneel on because I ain't 18 any more and SHAZAM!

GEEZ! come to think about it,

I have been as busy as a groupie backstage at a Motley Crue concert in 87.

1. I installed and use quite frequently a rain barrel (40 gallons) to water my plants and the 2k day lillis that Mr. Boike gave me like 4 years ago.

I can sit here and tell ya how I am just doing my part to help out mother Earth BUT I ain't gonna waste my breath! WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREWED! WE, the human race, has made sooooo many things that ARE NOT BIODEGRADABLE! Speaking of that,

2. I bought a few bags of rubber mulch for the front area.

The stuff looks pretty good too.

3. Installed gutter guards:

SO I don't have this problem anymore.

4. It doesn't leak BUT I still wanted to make sure so again using my YEARS of redneck engineering, I have a degree in it ya know, I added a cover to my hot water on demand vent. FYI, I went up there at the crack of the morning because I don't know about where you live but it's been hotter then H to the E to the double L down here and I really didn't want to loose 5 lbs. in SWEAT while installing it........ I'm a fart smeller, I mean, smart feller like that....

It just OOZES ''redneck' doesn't it??? GIDDY UP!

5. The homeless guy, Adam, and I did some pruning of the trees. WOW! Trees sure do grow fast. I think it was only two summers ago I pruned them last...

6. I made some really, really, really redneck looking trestle for the roses I planted next to my shed to grow up.

HEY I made the thing out of spare parts I had and you cannot see it unless you are way in the back yard and your in the woods, KRIPES! You can't even see it from my kitchen window.

7. In my ENDLESS battle with the front ditch, KRIPES! It's like one of those EPIC wrestling matches where it was SOOOOOOOOO long they had to break to commercial and Hulk Hogan was STILL in a sleeper hold when they came back from the commercial break! ANYWAYS, I dug and installed a pipe to help.

8. Well I was going to organize my shed BUT I think I will wait until until these guys leave.

Good Call!?!??!

That's it for the time being.... I'm BEAT and going to go hit the showers because I smell like ,well like a guy that's been working outside in 95 degrees and forgot to put on some underarm deodorant. Then a committee that consists of ME, MYSELF and I have decided to take a nap....BUT before I go, I want to tell you to stay tuned because of a HUGE milestone that's coming up next month... Here's a hint, It's been 5 years in the making!!!

2010-07-11T07:18:00.000-05:00

“The McBride World Tour- Summer leg” is complete THANK YOU, WE LOVE YOU and be safe driving home!

In all, It was about 1525 miles from start to finish and I had a blast at every stop. Let's begin, shall we?

First stop was Mansfield, OH where I hung out with Grandma McBride....

The other person in the picture is Sue, AND GOD LOVE HER! She is such a big help with grandma, She's soooooooo going to Heaven....... You heard it here first.

Then had lunch and a beer or two with my Nana, she's 91 so I really don't blame her for not getting out of her chair the whole time I was there.

And the other person is Carol Jo who ROCKS too! She helps out Nana!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Next stop was Allegany, NY, where I'm originally from. I was lucky enough to have an old friend, Kara, color my hair JET BLACK!

I have NEVER done something like that before,

Like the nacho cheese on the side of my mouth? It was in 95 degree heat for three hours BUT it still was yummy in my tummy! ANYWAYS, I have been thinking about it for the last few months BUT what made my decision to do it was when my mother 'frowned' on the idea and didn't like it one bit! That so made up my mind to go for it! HOUSTON, "the eagle has landed"!!!!! So with my bitchin' hair and my sweet chops, I went to the beer tent for BEER-PA-LOOZA at the famous Allegany carnival. GOOD TIMES!! I saw friends that I have not seen in like 25 years!!! I'm not going to tell ya who exactly everyone is but know that they are old friends and helped mold me into the person I am today! The 'TALL COOL ONE' MOFO! HA! I have soooooo many pictures that I am just going to make a slide show for ya. Cool?

One picture that I do have to write a little about is the one of Dave D, Todd H. and I! THANK GOD for statute of limitations because these two guys and I did stuff back in the day that would have caused me to be in jail.

And let's be honest here, can you see me in jail?

I would be the BEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOTTTTCCCCHHHHHH of cell block 'C' in 1.2 seconds....

Getting back on track, here's something for anyone that couldn't make it to BEER-PA-LOOZA.

OH YEAH! I took this while cruising on the BEAUTIFUL roads up in NY with the thought "GEE? You would think that after RAPING the fine citizens of NY with some of the highest taxes in the country, the state would make their roads a little bit better to drive on."

I also spent some time with the family a few towns over in Bolivar.

Then it was off to Emporium, PA to see my cousin

and his 'mentally unstable' wife. HA!!!!! I'm so kidding, Amanda don't punch me out the next time I see ya.... A good time was had by all whether if it was eating some YUMMY steaks that Joe grilled, being interrogated by their three kids, sitting on the porch having a few beers or watching Amanda play 'Wheel of Fortune' on the Play Station and interrupting Joe and I's conversation to ask "HEY! Can you help me solve this?"

Last but not least was Marshall, VA for some FUN at Boike and Mese farm! As always, they placed me on a tractor to bush hog one of their 25 freakin' fields!!!

Not only did I bush hog to my little heart's content but we also floated down the Shenandoah River too!!! I also got some SWEET boots that Mese and Boike wear to work outside, BUT I have a HUGE dilemma because they are soooooooooo nice that I don't want to use them for working outside. WHAT TO DO!!! The whole time there we drank some of the FINEST beers NY and PA. had to offer like Genesee, Schmidt's and Iron City. We also went to the 'Hatcher petting zoo', kidding, farm and had fun and games for the 4th.

I think this year's theme was something to do with palm trees, wife beaters, cowboy hats and kiddie pools. Am I right Janice and Mese? ANYWAYS, everyone had a blast KRIPES, Boike had sooooo much fun that we left him there!!! HA!!!!! Next year I'm busting out these babies,

let's hope no one gets impaled!!!!

Well that's it for now, time to go back outside in this HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HELL heat and finish putting up gutter guards, DANG I live a pretty exciting life don't I?

BY THE WAY, Did ya notice that I changed the background and design of my SWEET @$$ blog!?!?!?! You can't stop me but, only hope to contain me!!!!!

2010-06-06T10:00:00.002-05:00

So you want to buy a house eh??

The days of getting some beers with the guys after work will be replaced with cleaning gutters, trimming hedges AND stuff like that.....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.............

After tearing it down and starting from scratch, what do you thing? Personally I am happy with the results. I would at this time, like to thank everyone involved in making this happen. Me, myself and I! Also I would like to also give some major props to my back which I am sure will ‘go out’ on me at anytime…… DAMN! Those RR ties are freakin’ heavy.

I don’t know what the weather has been like in your neck of the woods BUT us common folk in Lancaster county have had a few pretty violent thunder bummers. They have not caused any MAJOR damage at casa de McBride but they did cause some of the roofing to come off around the vent for my ‘hot water on demand’ unit. HA!!!!! I SAID UNIT!!!!

So I had to go up there and do some repair work to prevent a part of the ceiling clasping or anything. That would SOOOOOOO leave a mark wouldn’t it????? So it's not exactly pretty, SO WHAT? It's on the back side of the house and no one can see it. Plus it was the first time EVER that I did roof repair also it was hotter than the hubs of hell up there so I was kinda wanting to get the job done quick so I could get down from the roof and cool down.

I'll let ya know if it was successful when we get another storm. I hope it works because I sure don't want to go up there again! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT WAS HOT!

Got a little ditty for ya, This happened about a week after my last entry BUT to AGONIZE Boike, I have not said anything until now. I have been having ‘issues’ with my lawn mower.

No matter what I did, the dang thing never wanted to start. I took it to Sears where I bought it and was greeted by Beavis and Butthead. MY GOD!!!! They were about as useful as a male stripper at a lesbian party.... Needless to say, I came out of there ready to explode with frustration, so I went down to see about just getting a new one like my neighbors, THAT THING IS SWEEEEEET.

The guy down at the dealer started talking to me after he saw I was looking at new ride on’s. I told him my situation and he said “I would LOVE to sell ya a new one BUT here’s the # of a guy that can work on your old one and get it running like new.” I look at the paper and it says FROG then a #... I looked kinda puzzled and the guy saw that and said “That’s his name.” HA!!!!! So I call ‘FROG’ and he has a very heavy southern accent and with my heavy YANKEE one, it was a MAJOR communication break down. I had to call him 5 times because I couldn’t understand what he was sayin’ when he was giving me directions . HA!!!! It got to a point where he was so frustrated that he handed the phone to his granddaughter. THANK GOD because I could understand her and vise verse. Well I eventually found the place and ‘FROG’ is everything you think of when picturing a good old boy. Not too many teeth in the old mouth but one of the nicest guys you’ll EVER meet. He looked at it and I think he said “It’s the valve and I will get it workin’ like new for ya.” Again, I think that's what he said, the jury is still out on that one BUT I got it back in a day and it runs like it just came off the assembly line in China where it was made by a kid who works 13 hours a day with no breaks and if he's lucky, A cup of water from the pond that is used as the run off from the surfer mine.

Well kids! That's all I got for ya this month... Remember to scratch someone's back so they don't stab yours!!! Take care of yourself and get ready for a detailed, depends on how much I remember, summary of the 'McBride World Tour'- Summer Leg with stops in OH., NY., PA. and rounding it out, VA.. You'll pay for the whole seat but only need the edge!!!

2010-05-09T19:00:00.000-05:00

Let's me start out by saying "I MADE THE PAPER!!!"

Now many of you have talked to me and I have been known to say some pretty 'obscure' things like "YAHTZEE"! Or "WOO HOO"!!! BUT I did not say “Boom. Pow. Done!”, This paper is damn lucking I am too busy saving people's houses or I would sue someone's @$$ for SLANDER! HA!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the scoop, Dollar General is right next to H&R Block or Jackson Hewitt I forgot the name but it's one of those tax places, and in my constant search for really cheap stuff, I came out of Dollar General with hand soap $1, SCORE!, in tow, I was approached by a the 'MAN ON THE STREET' reporter from the newspaper. He must of thought "That guy looks somewhat 'normal' although, those BITCHIN' chops are kinda intimidating, I will ask him about taxes." We talked for about 15 minutes and I'm sure I rambled about the KGB, I mean, the IRS and some of my political views. He was able to muster up enough of my gibberish to write an article

Remember my good friend Mark and his lovely bride Melissa?

Well they moved to 'Heaven's waiting room' I mean FL. and check it out! They have a FREAKIN' indoor pool!

BETTER YET! It has a freakin' table in it!!!!!! A TABLE!!!!!!!

DUDE!!!! It's 'sooooooo fly' that I'll use it as basis for a SWEET @$$ rap video because about 98% of them are shot at pools or boats......

Getting back to us SIMPLETONS, I used some more of the RR ties that I got like four years ago to make a nice little border around the big tree in the center of my back yard. I also planted day lillys in there that Mr Boike gave me about the same time! GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY! Those things grow and multiply like crazy!!! They are the rabbits of the plant world.

PLEASE DISREGARD THE LAST PARAGRAPH!

I built it and after looking at it, I was not satisfied with the results SO I tore it apart and I am currently rebuilding it to McBride standards. Kinda like the 6 million dollar man!!!! Side note, What in the WIDE WORLD of SPORTS will $6 million getcha these days?? A finger nail?? Sorry about that, I'm getting off my soap box, I promise that it'll be done by the time for my next entry.

Wanna see why I only drive 60mph on the interstate?

WOO HOO!!!!!! Just doin' my part while saving mother Earth and $$$$$..... I'm making all the tree huggers and capitalist pigs all warm and fuzzy inside... Also I got one of those blue tooth thingies so I have the TRIFECTA going! Let's rehash things, 1. I'm saving the planet 2. pocketing more money, 3. AND looking GQ ish while doing it!!!!! BOOOLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!

The 50MPGs picture was taken after I arrived up at the Boike/Mese farm in VA. for my annual pilgrimage for Gold Cup. a day to get all dressed up and be a SNOB while keeping to my roots and drinkin PBR...... We also celebrate my birthday too!!!! It's a WIN/WIN situation! They marked the occasion by getting some classy beverages and a cake of YUMMY IN MY TUMMY chocolate.

Fellow blogger and an old friend from A-TOWN, Allegany, just had her 2nd baby and it's a pretty funny story .While you are there, leave a comment about how her blog is ALMOST as cool as mine! HA!!!!!

OH AND! Check out the name of one of my 'followers'..... It's Babydoll!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! To all ya jealous guys out there, DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME!

2010-04-10T18:00:00.001-05:00

BLEED THE FREAK!

HA!!!! No there is NO bleeding of any freaks! It's an old Alice In Chains song and it's playing right now as I type this.. Gee I don't have A.D.D............. Well let's talk about you, I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. OK! Enough about YOU, It's now time to talk about me and being this is MY BLOG then I think it's only fair!!!!! HOLLA!

So as many of you know, KRIPES, let my rephrase that, 'ALL OF YOU' know, I live out in the country which I love because I can burn stuff without someone calling the dang HOA and it's soooooooooooo freakin' quiet at night, except for the occasional Bailey, I'm dog sitting for Steph while she is in rehab concurring her addiction to LUVVVVVVVVV, farts, which smell like CREEPING DEATH, and a good old POSSUM Vs. CAT fight on the front porch, it's very peaceful. So I notice the slightest noise and the other night I heard some ruffling going on up in the attic. The next day I went up there and laid a couple traps and some YUMMY IN YOUR TUMMY peanut butter!!!! WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT STUFF?!? You show me someone that doesn't like the stuff and I will show you a nasty, dirty red COMMIE! That night, I was awaken by a WHACK noise!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! I'm not going to show you what I found sooooo I will simply say that if your keeping score at home, ANDY 1 Mouse 0!!!!!!!

Sorry this post is sooooooooooo short BUT I sustained a hand injury while trying to stop a dog sniffing 'We have not seen you around here/ this is our territory/ we think we like you but we still are not sure so we are going to growl and bark at you' ORGY. DON'T WORRY STEPH! Your baby is just fine but I fell and banged up my hand pretty good. SOOOOOOOO I can't finish my little project in the back yard. It will be ready by the next blog entry I PROMISE. Before I go I want to give you another reason why April is one of the best months of the year! It's my birthday month! GIDDY UP! Dark chocolate, stock option in Google, mail order brides and PBR are greatly appreciated.

And in case you're wondering, the possum WHOOPED UP on that cat! Those things are some mean little suckas!

2010-03-14T16:45:00.002-05:00

ARE YOU READY FOR SPRING!?!?!?!?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!?!?

Tired of this?

And ready for this?

Now that we have this 'SPRING greetings thing' out of the way, I want to give you an update on the SWEET @$$ Playboy mugs that I use with pride to drink my PBR!

ATTENTION! FOR THE LOVE OF BABY JESUS! DO NOT CLICK ON THIS IF YOU DO NOT LIKE BAD LANGUAGE! Dennis Hopper drops the 'F' bomb in it! If ya do then turn the volume down on you computer and don't say I didn't warn ya! That's SOOOO tempting isn't it??? CLICK ON IT! DO IT! Just call me Lucifer! Let's get back on track, I spoke with Pops about how he obtained these SWEEEEEEET holders of the nectar of the Gods and he explained to me that Playboy kinda had a 'frequent customer' program and he and his buddy, who I am named after, went to several clubs including 'Bean Town' Boston, St. Louis and Chicago. Playboy rewarded customers who visited clubs around the country and they also rewarded them for buying certain drinks. My reaction to this was "How many drinks did you have to buy because these babies are SWEET and are pretty sturdy.... So when you said that you bought drinks, is that another way of saying "I bought drinks for the WHOLE club because I really wanted those glasses." And like my father can only say "No, you keep jumping to conclusions. All the Playboy Clubs offered the mugs with the purchase of certain drinks. Souvenir drink mugs!" So there ya go!!! Straight from the horse's mouth........

I have a story for ya so sit back and enjoy. "Four score and seven years ago" KIDDING! It wasn't that long ago... The truck, you know the one,

Well my baby has like 130K and while heading to the new Aldi, which is really nice, she started to stutter and misfire. When my grandpa passed away, I got his trimmer. The thing was pretty old and took leaded gas as well as an oil mixture. Well after practically 'throwing' out my arm trying to start the thing, I gave up BUT I had a gas can full of leaded gas and I wasn't sure what to do with it. SOOOOOO I emailed Mr. Michael J. Boike and he said "just put it into the truck and then add some new gas to it so it all mixes. It won't hurt anything. I do it all the time in all of my vehicles." So when the thing started to sputter and buck, I took it to the Ford dealer right down the road from me. When they called, I asked point blank if it was due to Boike TELLING me to put in that gas mixture and I was kinda disappointed that it WASN'T due to that. I sooooo wanted to blame him! So after doing my part in stimulating the local economy, I got my truck back in time to 1. Load it up with all the wood I would need to make a HUGE bon fire.

and other stuff for my brother's FREAKIN' 40th birthday!!! 40!!!!! MY GOD!

2. start cleaning up the back woods and burning all the CRAPPY little trees/ dead ones and burning them!!! FIRE RULES!!!!!

Ok so I really don't need the truck to do that BUT it is pretty cool to sit on the tail gait and watch the fire.

After, almost 5 years, I knew that one day I would have neighbors behind me. SO I finally am doing something about it, I have had help from Boxcar Willie, My friend Adam, Marvella, my chain saw, a sawz-all and a BITCHIN' fire that I have had going for the past two weeks. You see, when you live out in the 'country' you can do stuff like that without your neighbors calling the police and/or fire dept. on ya! To start it back up all ya need is:

A leaf blower your pops gave you BACK IN THE DAY!
Find the 'hot coals' and just add forced air from the blower and some small sticks that you have an abundance of and let it RIDE!

As if I didn't spend enough on the truck, I also installed a new radio because that 'crapped' out on me too!!!!! WHAT THE!?!?!?!?!? I guess when you drive a Honda you expect things to ALWAYS work, no matter how many miles....

This is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to get on my soap box! I have been accused of being cheap on my use of money. I believe in living below your means so when stuff does happen it's not like "QUICK! HIT THE PANIC BUTTON BECAUSE THE CAR NEEDS REPAIRS AND WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO FIX THEM!".... I like just shrugging my shoulders and saying "the truck needs some work so I guess I'll need to dip in the 'rainy day fund' and get it fixed. No biggie". Cash is the way to go folks! I liken credit card companies to the evil empire in Star Wars! There ya go! I just gave ya the same advise your grandma would with one exception! I kept my teeth in! HA!!!!! Alright, so that last line I took from this guy, who I feel is RIGHT!

Let's see!?!?! What else is going on at casa de McBride!?!?! OH YEAH! The bitchin' CHOPS are back for a limited time only!!! I started growing them for Gold Cup up in VA.....

I was asked to have them in full force when I get up there by one freakin' person! That's enough of an excuse for me to grow them. I have found that 99.9% of all FEMALES hate them and they have no problem telling me how they feel about them... Most guys love them and I have a theory on this, which means it is not FACT so don't email me and tell me that I am not telling the truth, they live vicariously through me because I DO NOT have a wife or girlfriend telling me what to do. This is what I have observed over the years! AGAIN!!! THIS IS NOT FACT!

2010-02-01T02:00:00.003-05:00

It's the RETRO edition so put your bell bottoms on and sit back in your love chair and enjoy my blog while sipping on a TAB.

Let's start out with some dishes my Aunt Cece hooked me up with! They are from her wedding back in 1975! She married the singer of Three Dog Night!!!!!

Right Dougy!?!? HA!!!!! They have remained in the boxes that she packed them in for the past 1/2 of a year BUT I recently started putting them in 'whatever' you call it.... China cabinet right!?!?

I know what you are thinking "DUDE!!!! Is that a dining room set? JUDAS PRIEST ON A UNICYCLE! That's kinda weird." I feel the same way, Let me ask you. What straight, single man has a full dining room set!?!?!? Not too many right!?! To clear the air, this is from mom and dad's house when they lived in California, matter fact, I say 98% of the stuff in my house are hand-me-downs AND I am also stating for the record that I am very 'straight' MMMMMMM WOMEN!!! All those curves and no stop signs!!!! WOO HOO!!!! HEY!!!! That's what we call in the 'radio business' a great segway!

I don't think I have called my house the PLAYBOY MANSION of Lancaster county on here but I'm pretty sure I have referred to it like that to most people that I have spoken to, either way, I have PROOF that I should be lounging in a robe smoking a pipe!!!!

OW LA LA!!!!! You are looking at some GENUINE artifacts from the past that helped shape our civilization. I honestly forgot I had them and the other day I opened a cabinet that I hardly ever use and they were staring at me like the money you could be saving if you switch your auto insurance to Geico. How did I get them you ask?? Glad you asked, The year was 1966 I believe and a young and eager Ronald McBride just graduated from the prestigious Heidelberg College in some really, really, really small town in Ohio!!! Their mascot was the 'student princes'. WHOW?!?!?! HELLO NERDVILLE!

Anyways, the Playboy Club was 'WHERE IT'S AT' and he joined it..... If he's anything like my older brother, he bought these mugs because they were shiny..... Now pops, I don't know the exact story but I'm suspecting I'm pretty accurate... Am I right? One of the mugs needed some minor repairs because it leaked... FOR GOD SAKES MAN, can't be wasting beer! Talk about blasphemy! SOOOOOOOOO! With some Hysol epoxy circa 1976 that I had and some mad RED NECK engineering skills that I obtained through years of study, I went to work.

WOW!?!?! Did you notice the same thing I did when I saw the pictures? I have really hairy fore arms!!!!! I need to trim them up or some thing so I don't look like a neanderthal. After some minor repairs, I am happy to report that it does not leak and I can enjoy some nectar of the GODS, beer, while I am watching, DARE I SAY, the best show EVER 'Miami Vice' on my computer! MMMMMMM!!!!!! BEER and watching Crockett and Tubbs clean up the streets of Miami!!! Don't get much better than that!

What else!?!?! OH YEAH!!!!!! Charlie came down the other weekend to help me gather some wood and I proceeded to instruct him on how to make a bon fire! That's just what all 5 year olds need to know right? "Now Charlie, Promise me that you won't use this info to burn your house down, your mom and dad will kill me!" After that I let him play with all my Legos that I and my good friend Mark played with like 25 years ago!!!

Andy's going to go 'serious' on ya for a few ok? LIKE THAT!?!?! I just busted out the 3rd person!!!! If y'all have meet me or read the stuff I put on here, you kinda think that I am a very immature and a shallow S.O.B and I'll be the first to say that I do a pretty good job of portraying AND maintaining that image BUT. I do have emotions for what other people are going through. Which brings me to my friend Felicia. She just had a baby, not even a month ago, and the poor little guy got whooping cough and is now up in the big nursery up in the sky. Losing your baby is something that you NEVER get over for as long as you are on this Earth. So the next time you're bitchin' about some stuff in your personal/work life just remember that their are people out there that are worse off than you.

OK! Back to your regularly scheduled program.... Sooooooooooooo what did we learn for this entry?

that "Jeremiah was a bullfrog and was a good friend of mine."
some nice Playboy mugs NEVER go out of style
5 year olds should learn how to set really big fires, KRIPES!, what's it gonna hurt?
EVERY kid loves Legos
And finally, there's someone out there in the world that has it worse then you so stop your complainin'.

And to end this entry, I would like to thank Mike T., Julie D., Kaye F., Todd B., Elise M., AND FINALLY MY BROTHER for being followers of my blog! I feel 'complete' now. OH AND ALSO! I want to give a 'SHOUT OUT' to my cousin for putting down the beer and cigarette long enough to supplying me with a picture of her parent's Cece and Doug's wedding day.

2010-01-10T06:00:00.004-05:00

I've seen the top of the mountain AND it is good!!!!!!!!!

The circle is almost complete!!!!!! At this rate I'll NEVER have to leave L-Town, Lancaster, for my shopping EVER!!!!! Big Lots, Walmart, Dollar General, ALDI, and Bojangles to dine at after all of my shopping! HEY!!!!! The buffalo bites I get there, more than likely, are left over pieces of chicken from other stuff that has been on the floor for a 1/2 hour and covered in BBQ sauce but DAAAAAAANG they are GOOOOOOOOOOOD! What more could a guy want!?!?!?! The only missing piece to the puzzle is Olive Garden or Red Lobster! That way I can take some chick that works at the Duracell plant and 'wine and dine' her with some fine dining and a bottle of Riunte ON ICE!

I hope Christmas was good to you. For the 36 straight year I asked for WORLD DOMINATION but instead I got some new ceiling fans.......... So I can continue with 'operation to replace all the "HEY!!! I like to think I'm rich" gold' with stuff that fits in the decor of the 21st century.....

The old ones I installed in the two spare bedrooms so the next time y'all come over to casa de McBride there will be 'circulating' air in your bedroom!!!! So you can quit whining that my central air isn't on and it's hotter than the hubs of hell in there! Central air costs money ya know and the last time I checked the bill from Duke Energy has ROBERT A. McBRIDE on it not yours!!!

Let's see!?!?! I also got some gift cards for the greatest store EVER, Big Lots! So I will be able to bust out the gift card for all of my cleaning products for the next two years. WOO HOO!!

I'm going to bring this up because I believe that this 'issue' has the potential to pit two brothers against each other much like the Civil War did. Just kidding, It's not that huge of a deal or is it?

The fine people of the jury. I want you to look and examine EXHIBIT "A". Look to the right of the page and see under Followers (2). My brother and I are followers of Boike's sorry @$$ blog. Now I want you to study EXHIBIT "B" . Look to the right of the page and you will see I have NO FREAKIN' follows of my BLOG!!!! WHAT THE!!!!! Not only do I not have any followers, BUT my BROTHER is a follower of Boike's!!!! MY BROTHER FOR CHRIST SAKES!!!! DUDE!??!?!? Why don't you kick my dog while you're at it? I don't have a dog but you get what ya know what I'm sayin'....

UPDATE!!!!!

As of 11:24 AM Sunday 1-10-2010, after reading my 'ISSUE', I am happy to report that he, my brother, is a follower of my blog!!!! A little 'Catholic guilt' never hurt!!! KRIPES!!! He even left a comment on here too!!!!!!! That a boy Michael!!!!! Your younger brother is sooooooooooooo proud of you even though you didn't get me that Joe Cribb's jersey from 82 for Christmas!

2009-12-13T04:00:00.002-05:00

This is whatcha get when you get 'Green lights' at school for the whole month of November. TRACTOR SUPPLY HAT IN DA HOUSE!

Well good morning everyone!!! It's 4am on Sunday morning and I can't sleep anymore...... Ya see, I work 6am to 2:30pm now so my biological clock tells me to get up really early even on the weekends.... And that's the way the cookie crumbles so instead of whining about it and writing a letter to my congressman complaining that I think it's unfair that they require me to be at work at 6AM, I just put on my big boy britches and deal with it..

I did some 'wild and wacky' Christmas decorating this year! In the past, A simple wreath on the door is all the 'holiday cheer' I showed BUT!!!!! This year it's different! I call it CHRISTMAS DECORATING 2.0! I added some FLAIR to the wreath that I put on the front door, Being the handsome and educated consumer that I am, last year after Christmas I went to BIG LOTS, close out prices ya know, and bought a couple sets of LED lights for like $2 and added them to the wreath for some extra cheer.

Pretty SWEET huh!?!! Nothing says MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS like a lighted wreath on the front door! It's a WIN/WIN situation... I am pleasing all my hippie-like friends by using LED lights, saving energy, AND my red neck ones by celebrating BABY JESUS'S B-day!

OH I'm not done yet with CHRISTMAS DECORATING 2.0! Grandma McBride also gave me a ceramic tree that freakin' lights up!!!!! WOO HOO!!! SOOOOOOO Being the 21st century, energy conserving, saving the planet MOFO I am, quick someone call Al Gore, I replaced the old bulb with an LED one... And that ladies and gentlemen is how I roll for Christmas! I am one festive hunk-a-hunk of burnin' LUUUUUUUUUUUUV!

I hardly EVER talk about my place of employment BUT I am working with two fine ladies that I affectionately call Laverne and Shirley because their 'gonna do it' and I love being 'directed' what to do everyday! Is that what marriage is like??????? HA! It's all GROOVY!!!!!! Sasha has 'Nazi like' organization skills and Casey is a chain smokin', cussin' like a sailor kinda gal that keeps me in line or she and Laverne will kick my @$$...... BUT SERIOUSLY, They make coming into work enjoyable....

And before I go I want to wish the two people that actually read this a Merry Christmas and to all the others that say they read this but actually are just in it for the pictures, well I hope Santa hooks you up with a 'special' present. HA!!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2009-11-14T17:36:00.001-05:00

WHAT'S THE WORD?
THUNDERBIRD!

While in the men's room at work brushing my pearly whites, I was thinking about an incident that happened like 15 years ago. Don't ask me why I was thinking about it but I was..... It was the summer 1993 and my friend Boike and I were out at the lake, I think, cutting a tree down or something and he got a couple of bottles of Thunderbird which is a REALLY REALLY REALLY cheapo wine... I think he said something like "DUDE, I got us a couple bottles of Thunderbird and we soooooo have to chug them down." My thinking was WHAT THE HECK, WHY NOT!?! Kripes! We were young and, as I look back, pretty stupid too. So we start chugging and Boike has no problem but I have a very hard time with it. I can only chug it halfway before I start to gag..... it was some really strong stuff..... Fast forward 15 years and I'm STILL reliving it and thinking of what a failure I am BUT I realized that it's not made for chugging, it's for sipping on...... I immediately email Boike and tell him what I think happened that fateful day. He's not buying my excuse and he wants another opinion on the issue so we email his 'cabana boy' Kyle and here's a shocker, he agrees 100% with Boike saying that I let down all my peers by not being able to chug it, he also questioned my manhood........... SOOOOOO to prove to myself and all the people out there that didn't think I had it in me, this is for you!

Not bad huh!!!!! This old boy can still get the job done! I couldn't find any Thunderbird! Someone at the store told me that they stopped making it. I was assured by the clerk at the 'fine' convenient store that Mad Dog is just as bad. So I selected 'orange jubilee'..... As you can see from the video, it was like drinking orange flavored turpentine....

Not only did I chug some really fine wine, I also celebrated Christmas in October by being able to see MY TEAM, the Bills, play at the litter box, Bank of America Stadium!!!! This probably is the last time I see them before they become the Toronto 'Take Off Ehs'

Remember the tree that I cut down a month ago?

What to do with all the wood ????? Well I used it to burn up the stump. Plus it was a great excuse to pull the truck back there and hang out on the tailgate. Don't tell my mom but I also drank more than 3 beers! I'll explain the 3 beer thing later.

I don't have a picture of this because it was too dark but I made an 'AMBER' special for dinner!!! She was an old girlfriend, no she was not a stripper, who showed me how to make a simple dinner... All ya need is some aluminum foil, a pound of ground beef or turkey, some spices and a fire.... Mix up the meat and spices and wrap it in the foil and proceed to throw it on the fire and YAHTZEE! you have a dinner in about 20 minutes!!!!! YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!!!!! It was a great dinner with a beer!!!!

As for the 3 beer thing, When I go over to my parent's house, Catholic Kate, mom has issued a rule stating that her baby, Robert A McBride, can only have three beers while I am there.... So there you go, I'm 36 and my mom STILL worries about me.....

Also I want to remind you that after 5 years of 'suggesting' he have one, Boike finally has a blog of the farm.... Now he has a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go to compare with mine but it's cute and you might want to check it out. That's all I have for ya kids, have a great 'gobble gobble' day and don't eat and drink too much! As Dirty Harry once said, 'A man has to know his limitations."